The Unexpected Journey

For those days when it is hard to move For When You’re Actually NOT Okay: 16 Truths When You Feel Like Giving Up A great reminder of concrete steps. It helps to know ways to help ourselves .

I try to do something every day to extend my strength and feel like I accomplished something. Today I went to the awesome Hobby and Toy shop to get the little kids gifts from their grandpa and our family. I thought that I would stop at ET cetera, a lovely little Shop on the way home. I hit my wall there and must have been obvious as the woman commented and offered me a bottle of water. I love independent stores. Got rested up, and took dad out for a late lunch so he could do his banking and I could fill in re presents. Tomorrow will be a super quiet day.

Each week I can see improvements as my body returns to normal. The "up all night with GI issues" are less frequent as is fecal incontinence. I was asked if I knew the triggers. I am fairly sure citrus and stress both are. I am not introducing nuts yet. I can stand or walk longer without exhaustion. I even made some applesauce for the freezer this week Naps are still part of the daily routine. I fall asleep watching Netflix and wake up and have to determine which episode I was on when I fell asleep. I have internal aches and pains as I heal. I am aware some are curious when will I know. To be clear, I don't completely know. I will see my oncologist mid- December. I believe that I will have an MRI before. I am aware that just...

Yesterday I decided to head to the mall. I did one lap of it with a bit of shopping accomplished and a short sit down at the one store. I had a sense of accomplishment with a few gifts purchased for Christmas. After resting for a few minutes , I decided to go to homesense.if anyone hears of the person who looked like they were asleep in the side aisle sitting on one of the chairs with their head on the shopping cart handle, well, I swear I wasn't sleeping, only resting my eyes. (hah - right T, D) The good news is that the fatigue is less and I felt well enough for the mall. In addition, GI issues are improving. Though no where near normal, I am more comfortable which I am thankful for. Even though last night was rough, it was like...

Hi folks, haven't updated for a bit. As you know from photos had my last treatment on tuesday. It went well but was hard on my body. Then again it is the end of a number of weeks of treatment. My body and mind are tired. Zzzzzzzzzzz continues to be my update. Not feeling like eating. Hips are feeling impact. I tend to read, nap, check-in and repeat. I know this pattern is what my body is calling for My patience is low, my mom would have said that I have a short fuse, right T I appreciate the concerned pings from folks who were missing the updates. All is well.

"wonderwoman" in the day surgery area modelling the new outfit from workmates in milwaukee. (note: this is before drugs!) Right down to the toes.... Complete with insignia on cape Surprise for the technicians this morning. Brought a laugh. It says "Woot! Done." and "Thank you " Ringing the bell for the last of the last. 5/5 chemotherapy, 25/25 external radiation, 4/4 HDR brachytherapy and the crowd goes wild. This was prior to projectile vomiting, but, hey...that was also a first but figured you didn't need a photo of it. Sleep is my friend. More in the days to follow. All is well.

I received an email that I was 7 nights away from Diamond status with #Hyatt again this year. Dang, I thought. Not going to get it as not traveling through year end. Then I thought, hey. I can always ask. So, I sent an email to customer service explaining that I had 43/50 nights in early July, but then was diagnosed with cancer and due to treatments would not have any stays through year end. Received a lovely note back advising my diamond status had been granted for another year and to let them know if I needed anything.

Wow, just got off the phone with the radiation oncologist from Tuesday's brachytherapy. She was phoning to see how I was doing and explain one piece about Tuesday. As part of that, she advised that my primary radiation oncologist had shared the two logs that I had written regarding the procedure. She complimented me on them, and also explained how my treatment was slightly different in one piece, why it was, and why for me the difference would have no impact. I tell you, these folks are amazing. From my friend, SF.

Had my 2nd last brachytherapy today. Went well. My friend MB, who came from Milwaukee to help, was up bright & early to drive me and hang out during the process and bring me home. (I even kept awake, if groggy, for the drive home). Slept the afternoon away, and likely will the evening too. Just one more to go!

I had bought tickets for Sound of Music at Stratford. Thankful for my niece and great niece accompanying me Was thoroughly delighted with it

These days can be summarized by one set of letters: zzzzzzzzzzz Lots of naps on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. A few small errands to get out of the house. A doctor's appointment Remembering how to knit A bit of tidying , purging, sorting. A visit from a friend. A lot of sleep.

Sitting in the external radiation area, thankful that it is my last one. My skin has started to break down. My bowels are really unhappy. My body is feeling the impact of radiation...that bully that just keeps on hitting you...blow after daily blow. Technologist comes by who works in 20E and 20F and says “woot, ring the bell day”. I grin. I was late and the patient in the treatment room was on a stretcher so would be a while. No biggie, it’s my last. I can wait an hour if need be. I got this one. I know how to relieve my bladder of ½ of the volume should it be needed. I can entertain myself. A woman there smiled and asked about the bell. She was in her first week of treatment and hadn’t been aware of the bell, so we talked...

"Sometimes being silly is enough". A card arriving from ASB with the perfect message as I wear my silly Halloween socks from SO on last day of external radiation. Last external radiation. 25 of 25 daily trips done. Only 2 more brachytherapy's (nov 3 & 10) before it is the last of the lasts. The scarf was from a lovely trip with my s-i-l D to Boston. T bought me a tart. I think i will have it and a cup of tea.

No long post today, just the celebration of #2 being done and the previous catch up from Monday. Also, I got the toes all ready for brachytherapy today. Had a white flower added this morning. (teal and white is the colour for cervical cancer). A special callout to JG who is a year ahead of me in cervical cancer treatment.

Sleep was intermittent and the morning was not starting well, with the shower broke, every room a disaster and my grumpiness and pains continuing. Of course, every room was NOT a disaster, the living room and our bedroom were calm. The shower turned out to be well and truly toast, requiring a sawz-all to cut the faucet off to get at the rig, but….showers were available by 10am! Thank goodness. Truly. T finished putting the bedroom together and it is wonderful. A working office and a comfy spot to stay. The cleaners arrive and the other rooms are clean again. Almost time to head for treatment. If you see me walking, you would say..hmmm, that person is having a problem. In conversations with nursing teams and friends, this item is...

On Day 35, I started a post on timeline; from discovery to diagnosis to staging and planning. I never got it done. I never got it done, coz I should have written a post like the one that follows. Today, I am grumpy. Today, I am sick of not being able to do things. Today, I don’t want to watch T paint. I want to do it. I want to paint and help. Today, I am not fun to be around. Today, I am sick of my butt hurting. I can’t figure out if I should be taking immodium or dulcalex or just ride the ride. I can’t find a comfortable spot to be. I hurt. I think my cervix hurts, but maybe it is just my whole pelvic area hurts. I don’t want to read or colour. Today, T is doing tons and I feel bad. Today, K is working on putting the...

Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid that prevents the release of substances in the body that cause inflammation. Prescription: Take 8mg twice before chemotherapy treatment, then 4mg twice daily for 3 days. The pills goals are to help with anti-nausea, stimulate appetite and reduce inflammation of kidneys, bowels, skin. This is all good stuff. It also increases your appetite. Yes, looking ravenously at a piece of dry white toast can occur. Seriously. I have not lost much weight through this process. Heartburn also is a known impact. I thought it was the radiation, but, watching the pattern it is more likely the pills. Wondering why I am walking the stairs at 4am, cleaning cupboards…blame the insomnia side effect. I actually...

Woot. A good breakfast, doing some activity, and Dulcolax finally kicked in. Thank goodness. Feel a 100% improved. Of course, steroids don’t hurt either. Today continued to be good, with a delightful catchup with SO, lots of laughs, serious conversations and time on the way to Juravinski. Friday is an easy day with radiation oncologist check-in, and external radiation. Vignette: Arrive to oncologist appointment with symptom chart printed. –Admins are waiting. ADMIN1: “Look how prepped you are, chart ready”. J: “I’m Jayne.” ADMIN2: “I know who you are, already have you checked in”. ADMIN1: “Don’t sit down, we are ready for you”. “J: Am I late?” ADMIN1: “Nope, we’re early”. ADMIN3: “Hey, the movie was awesome”. ADMIN2: “which...

On Wed, I caught up from my day of sleeping on Tuesday, and today, I fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. Seems to be a pattern. Oops. Time to catch up on yesterday’s big day Wednesday was my last day of chemo. It was good to be through the first of my lasts. It didn’t begin well, as an IV start was not to be had. This time, the nurse tried a number of pokes and fishing around to get the vein. I guess I have deep veins that like to slip away and are “tough”. Surprising, it didn’t hurt. I always figured when they were moving the needle around that it would be painful, but, it didn’t with this nurse. I called her the “vein whisperer” due to how she held her head close to the arm. After about 20min of attempts, a...

Like my first chemo day, the first brachytherapy had me restless and anxious. I had prepped by understanding the concept, handling equipment, meeting staff, seeing rooms. Still, these session were the first ones that were making me squeamish. In retrospect, when I review my day 20: Bring on the A-team, I see that overall I had the technology right with a few minor adjustments. I’ll give you the first person account of it now from the best of my reflection. So here goes. Warning: could be TMI. Most early mornings there is flex in the schedule, but brachytherapy is timed and critical be there at 8:30am including a reminder call by the radiation oncologist office. Given the possibility of travel time being up to 90min for early...