The Unexpected Journey

Chemo impacts the division of cells. That’s a good thing if you are fighting cancer. I have squamous cell carcinoma of the cervix, staged at 2B. Approximately 2cm in size, it had just started its journey past the cervix. Surgery was no longer the best option once it had started to expand territory. It’s a slow growing cancer probably caused by HPV (forewarning: a rant is building about vaccines & women’s health). The treatment plan is chemoradiation therapy with a prognosis of cure. As I write these daily logs, I’m aware that I have it easy. There are cancers that are truly monsters with hope only for time – not mine. There are treatments that are worse and long-term challenges more severe than mine. I have no fear for my...

Warning: at times if you read my posts you are going to hear about female body parts. In support of the Ontario Sex Education program, I might even use correct terminology. The snatch is a key Olympic weight lifting movement with a lot of power and speed. It also happens to be crude slang for female genitalia. This spring, I had read about two creative women from Ottawa with different types of cervical cancer who had leveraged the power of the word, and forming a “love the snatch” weight lifting fundraiser. I laughed & applauded. Didn’t know that it would be more personal in the near future. When I was working through the cervical cancer diagnosis, a lightbulb started to flicker. Just like yoga, CrossFit will tell you...

I have felt great post chemo. In fact this weekend, I felt excellent. Saturday was a beautiful day to hangout, do some shopping and relax with T. After she left early Sunday, I had a great morning with a bit of lifting at CrossFit Brantford, some light tasks, and headed over to J&S’s for a short visit. You wouldn’t know that I was having treatment. I felt great though a wee bit jittery like when you’ve had one too many coffees. I really hate relying on folks, K was working, so I figured that Monday would be a good day to drive myself to treatment. I did remember that the team had cautioned me about the euphoria from the anti-nausea drugs, and the drop once they cleared, but you know, a steroid high does a good job of assisting in...

For those who know me well, you know that I hate taking medication. My best win was successfully ridding myself of thyroid medication post-thyroidectomy Sinus rinse fights off colds. I go to doctors when I must, and clearly, not often enough. Appointments are meant to be made but slip the mind, or made, and missed. This past winter exhausted from work and other demands, I picked up a cold. The cough progressed and would not leave. By spring, I could no longer hold off. I called in, met my new physician, who diagnosed asthma, prescribed puffers, and…..reviewed my chart. Young, vibrant and direct, she pulled no punches that I needed to get in for a physical. I had been told and thankfully, I listened. Probably from that moment...

How to explain the emotions that are triggered at Juravinski. Maybe just calling it by its full name...Juravinski Cancer Centre. It doesn't shy from its name...and when you are there, it hits you. As T said, everyone here is sick. Not just at a hospital with an injury, or an important surgery, but...sick. It hits me when I see the handsome young man, the same age as my oldest son, walking out of the lab ahead of me with his mom & dad following him. As the first week wears on, you no longer are startled by the baldness, or scarves and then you start to identify the number of women wearing wigs. Your heart hurts for the parents walking or waiting with their children knowing that children are only at Juravinski for brain tumors. You...

Update day 5: Woot 5/25 of the external radiations are done, and 1/5 chemos...time is flying by. The discussion on blood etc yesterday was due to my having a high reading last night. It dawned on me it could have been due to a hot flash (hah, women of certain age will understand). Checked in with doctor during appointment, who agreed with what I did and concurred as possibly hot flashes but advised to confirm with gyn/oncologist next week responsible for chemo.. Although hot flashes do not raise core temperature, the body reacts and changes skin temperature. Having a forehead thermometer may not be best but, having put two & two together, it is easy to monitor Thanks nurse Christina who gave me the low down on how hot flashes...

Thursday is my shortest day for treatment...which is good. Just a drive down, radiation, then drive back. So, approx 3 hrs, but, not much strain. I have started a little photo album of things around Juravinski and will share that so you can see how beautiful it is. I call this beast Hal. It is the radiation machine. You lie on the table, and everything moves to have the machine rotate around you. I have found singing 100 bottles of beer on the wall (under my breath), helps to pass the time....haven't made it to 0 yet. again, note the wood surroundings and lightness. I took in a massage this morning, reducing tension carried in shoulders, and am staying active by walking (when T doesn't boss me into lying down!). She is right...

Day3: I will be honest and share that I was a bit anxious going into treatment today. I knew that I was in great hands, and would be fine, but, well, I was pumped. Kinda like the day of a go-live, when you have prepared everything and have a great team, but, you know...s**t happens. So, left the house at 9:30, got blood work done at arrival, then up to chemo for pharmacist training me on my meds, what they do, symptoms etc..for a good 20min, then, head over to chemo waiting room, and before long whisked in for more training of what they will be doing and what I will see. You can have a friend sit with you, and they can come & go as well. Not necessary, but always nice to have company So I am not sure when they started to wrap arms...

Day 2: Was a day to review schedules, create google calendar, figure out odd schedule days, and then, do my first review. Turns out there is a clinic run by the nurses you go to review symptoms, get help, and you can walk in if you don't have an appointment but need to see one. Quite amazing care and thoroughness. Session 2 of radiation done as well. Identified a scheduling oddity so thought I would ask the nurse. Crazy efficiency: she said she would check, and by the time I was in radiation a missing appointment was added, the lab work was moved to a more reasonable time and the plan was ready for me to get reprinted. Funny item for today. Yesterday, I was sitting beside T and noticed that she nodded her head to affirm what she was...

Day 1 of treatment finished, including: 1 hr long chemo training session with a 55 page handout, a 4 page safety handout, a wallet card, then labwork, then appointment with my gyn-oncologist nurse, then appointment with my gyn-oncologist doctor for specifics on chemo, then, a short break for lunch, then, pharmacy visit, then radiation schedule review, then training, then actual radiation. Jam packed day which included laughter and learning, and great support (wrapped by the 1+hr drive each way) Thanks to my sister T.

At the beginning of the year, I had plans to do something for the first time each month. July's was to be Singapore, and August's Shanghai, or vice versa, with lots of other firsts with food, and sites, and experiences. Life has a way of throwing tricks at you, and well, some of you know, that my summer first's almost all ended up being medical First self-test of blood sugar First biopsy First ct scan First sleep hooked up for sleep apnea, and first sleep with a CPAP machine. First cancer diagnosis (I wish I could say last, but, I plan to live to 90 and, hey, I know my families genetics) First watching of a winning Blue Jays team. (heehee) First visit to Juravinski Cancer Centre First experience with staging of a cancer First puking...

Support: You may be someone who can offer to drive to a test, especially routine ones, or distant ones. Family / spouses will carry much weight, and having someone who knows you well, is great. Or maybe, you are someone who can care for the spouse. Take them out for a drink or a visit. You may be someone who was let in due to past experience. You can help by sharing, as appropriate any tips for making life easier. Do not overwhelm the recipient, but, let them know you are there. Also remember, no two treatments or journey's are the same. Do not presume. If you are a manager or workmate, keep the confidence and help the person exit to care for themselves, and if possible, navigate through their health care and benefits. If...

There is an expression "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" You may be the person with a recent diagnosis of cancer, or maybe, you have a close person who has been or maybe still you have inadvertently figured something out, but, are not in the inner circle. This post is to share some of the experiences during diagnosis and planning time. As compared to the posts dated later, this post is both current reflection and notes from the time. Circles of Care: This was the period when the circles of who knew and who didn't was in my control. At first, just me & my doctor. I was the patient, quickly expanded to spouse. Then, immediate family as I told my sons, then some siblings, and close friends. This circle...