Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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A string walked into a bar. The bartender said “we don’t serve your kind here.”

Subsequently, the string left the bar, mussed up his ends and tied himself up. Then walked back into the bar. Upon doing so, the bartender said "aren't you the string I just kicked out of here?"
To which the string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."
 
Knotty jokes are not allowed as they have implications on continuance ... that it is said we should have no cognizance of ... giving rise to mind blowing experience that can get you entangled ... in church or other alternates ... when no man has gone before?

Nomadic ... or pneumatic ... simulates Eire ... and Celtic essence ... that's the spirit Petei ...
 
Mother Mary and Father O’Malley were driving down the road when all of a sudden a vampire jumps on the hood of the car. As it lay there hissing and spitting at the two of them in the car Mary says ‘Quick Father, show him you’re cross’. So Father O’Malley looks at him in the eye as he rolls down his window and yells ‘get off the hood a**hole!’
 
Neo said:
Mother Mary and Father O’Malley were driving down the road when all of a sudden a vampire jumps on the hood of the car. As it lay there hissing and spitting at the two of them in the car Mary says ‘Quick Father, show him you’re cross’. So Father O’Malley looks at him in the eye as he rolls down his window and yells ‘get off the hood a**hole!’
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That' isle do whet dude ...
 
Chi can think and care about you're thoughts at the same time ... a duality? Sometimes these are called psychologists .. who reassemble broken sols ... kind 've like farriers but they do it with luck of the horse shod ...
 
Someone sent me this last night ... good to look deeply into it to see if there's anything tuit!

Logic is dead.

Excellence is punished.

Mediocrity is rewarded.

And dependency is to be revered.

This is present day North America.

When crooks rob banks they go to prison.

When they rob the taxpayer they get re-elected​

If nothing then perhaps this too has gone to God ...

Someone once told me to use care with god's tuff ... it can be dangerous!
 
There were two guys in the hospital in adjacent beds. Both are wearing oxygen masks. One lifts his mask and says "David - English". The second guy lifts his mask and says "Michael - Irish." The Englishman lifts his mask again points to his chest and says "Cancer". The Irishman turns over slowly, raises his mask and says "Sagittarius."
 
KayTheCurler said:
There were two guys in the hospital in adjacent beds. Both are wearing oxygen masks. One lifts his mask and says "David - English". The second guy lifts his mask and says "Michael - Irish." The Englishman lifts his mask again points to his chest and says "Cancer". The Irishman turns over slowly, raises his mask and says "Sagittarius."
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Sagging later or just sitting on the bull? Archetypical Levite ... thus it starts ...
 
A mother is driving her little girl to a friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy ," the little girl asks ,"how old are you?"
"Honey , you are not supposed to ask a lady her age", the mother warns .
"It is not polite".
"Ok", the little girl says ."How much do you weigh?"...
"Now really ," the mother says , "these are personal questions and really none of your business."
Undaunted , the little girl asks," why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions , honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything ." The little girl says to her friend
"Well, "said the friend ,"all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card it has everything on it",
Later that night ,the little girls says to her mother ," I know how old you are . You are 32".
The mother is surprised and asks ,"how did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds ." The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
" How in heaven 's name did you find that out?"
"And ," the little girl says triumphantly ,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce".
"Oh really?" The mother asks ." And why's that?"
"Because you got an F in sex".
Mother fainted.





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KayTheCurler said:
A mother is driving her little girl to a friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy ," the little girl asks ,"how old are you?"
"Honey , you are not supposed to ask a lady her age", the mother warns .
"It is not polite".
"Ok", the little girl says ."How much do you weigh?"...
"Now really ," the mother says , "these are personal questions and really none of your business."
Undaunted , the little girl asks," why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions , honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything ." The little girl says to her friend
"Well, "said the friend ,"all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card it has everything on it",
Later that night ,the little girls says to her mother ," I know how old you are . You are 32".
The mother is surprised and asks ,"how did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds ." The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
" How in heaven 's name did you find that out?"
"And ," the little girl says triumphantly ,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce".
"Oh really?" The mother asks ." And why's that?"
"Because you got an F in sex".
Mother fainted.





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Sexcts are like that ... defying common sense ... thus a lot of denial ...
 
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