Someone suggested a joke thread............................

Welcome to Wondercafe2!

A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!

Register Log in
You just never know said:
A man goes into a Pet shop looking for an unusual pet. On asking the owner he is offered a talking centipede which he snaps up at the bargain price of $50. He takes it home in its own little personal box. Ten minutes after getting home he opens the box "Hello Mr. Centipede do you fancy coming to the pub?" The centipede says nothing. Ten minutes later the man does the same and not a peep from the centipede. Finally, exasperated, he thinks one last chance or its going back, opens the box and angrily shouts, "Hello Mr. Centipede do you fancy going down the pub???" The centipede replies, "I heard you the first time you muffin, I’m just putting my shoes on!"
Click to expand...

Many fetes add up to what else ... Big Soles ...
 
22140964_932832370200856_5089978837331809657_n.jpg
 
Stuttering Cat - as explained by a Grade 4 student

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

...
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl.

"My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before she could say 'f***!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher had to leave the room.
 
APHORISM: …

. A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.


1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.


3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.


4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.


5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.


6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?


7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.


8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?


9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.


10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.


12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Pinto.


19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.


20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.


21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.



REMEMBER... "POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!"

Those fixated on poles don’t appreciate being moved …
 
Mendalla said:
* loudly sings a choral "Amen" *

:ROFLMAO:
Click to expand...

NOSH-ite over ... that's aD (overhead) in some scripts ... none-the-less cryptic still as we're not supposed to say ... just observe ...

How much crap can a wise person cram away overhead? Or so says those of great confidence ... not to be shattered with Nous learning ... internal flashes?
 
crazyheart said:
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
Click to expand...


I'm pretty sure cows can stutter. I remember one in Farmer Faus' Dairy heard that certainly did.

Seriously.

Mo-Mo-Mo-Mooooooo.

Never met her face to face though I did make several attempts. She never betrayed herself whenever I wandered into the herd. I will never forget the sound of her voice.

Funny joke also.
 
You just never know said:
I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I'll be fine, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Click to expand...

It's all a medical mist practice ... everything inside a sol is black and abstract ... incognito to avoid cognitions ... thus blank-ET castes ... know s**t? These are sometimes known as koans or goans ... s**t-sticks? Some feel that such knowledge is chit and little should be known about it ... especially in the rear PEWs ... where the ancients rest!

Sunday morning when my perspective drops to the back seats ... I see that blank stares ... everything is transparent ... it left them ...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top