crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
Pinga, relax now, and let others look after you
Room For All
- Thread starter BusyMom
- Start date
Welcome to Wondercafe2!
A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!
That's a long day Pinga (though the orange popsicle sounds good). Glad things went well. A good rest sounds wonderful.
ChemGal
One with keen eye
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
You make it sound easy!
Glad to hear you're resting at home. I hope you're kept busy enough this week.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
I was completely gobber-smacked when Seelergirl got cancer. Among my closest relatives we live (and die) with crohns, diabetes, kidney failure, strokes, Cancer was something other people got. Then the stats turned against us.
ChemGal
One with keen eye
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
I haven't been posting much. With all the serious health stuff, including my own this isn't as major but I am so uncomfortable right now. My scalp, face and neck are a complete mess as is one finger. Different rashes, but I'm concerned about what might be connecting them all. Saw my GP she didn't help much although I got something that helped my eyelids, but that keeps flaring back.
Glad I made an appointment with my dermatologist a while ago, it's a fairly long wait even with a cancellation, I see him Friday. This is much worse than when I made the appointment.
Glad I made an appointment with my dermatologist a while ago, it's a fairly long wait even with a cancellation, I see him Friday. This is much worse than when I made the appointment.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Seeler quietly enters the room and wraps her arms around Pinga and Tabitha - giving what support she can offer. No one knows the burdens we bear or what resources we have to call up in times of need. This is a place where we can 'let it all hang out'. Share and care. I care.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Sorry M to hear about car accidents and bike accidents - on the same day.
We were held up on our way home from Ontario by the highway south of Riviere de Loup being blocked by an accident.
We were doing a long stretch: from my sister's place near Kingston to Fredericton in one day. It's usually a twelve hour drive. We didn't need the wait (over an hour). I kept myself from getting frustrated by thinking of the people involved as I watched for the emergency vehicles. First an ambulance heading down - siren screaming and lights flashing; then another - just lights this time; then police; fire trucks; wreckers with two smashed up cars and a small U-haul, and another ambulance (this time no lights or flashers). Somebody's plans and possibly their lives changed in the blink of an eye.
So it was past nine and getting dark when we pulled into town.
I'm like a zombie today.
We were held up on our way home from Ontario by the highway south of Riviere de Loup being blocked by an accident.
We were doing a long stretch: from my sister's place near Kingston to Fredericton in one day. It's usually a twelve hour drive. We didn't need the wait (over an hour). I kept myself from getting frustrated by thinking of the people involved as I watched for the emergency vehicles. First an ambulance heading down - siren screaming and lights flashing; then another - just lights this time; then police; fire trucks; wreckers with two smashed up cars and a small U-haul, and another ambulance (this time no lights or flashers). Somebody's plans and possibly their lives changed in the blink of an eye.
So it was past nine and getting dark when we pulled into town.
I'm like a zombie today.
My thoughts go out to those with health and other major concerns.
I am still having a really hard time - letting go and all that - I am not rushing to do so. There is no rush. It's quite possibly the worst emotional pain I have ever been through, despite all the financial and other problems we had (I really think if we had not had so many job and money problems consequitvely, we would've been okay - but those contributed to breakdown), plus, trying to do what I need to do and keep myself together and not a blubbering mess every time the "D" word comes up...but apparently this is normal, to feel like you're walking wounded everyday for as long as it takes until it starts to ease. When someone dies, they don't leave you on purpose - that decision made adds an extra layer to the grief. I never planned to be a failed marriage statistic - but I wasn't the one who ultimately gave up - I am still upset. Blaming myself, blaming him - and still missing my best friend. It's really hard. I am distracting myself making interior designs on my iPad app - where I can zone out and daydream (better than some distractions people turn to) and just generally leading a pretty quiet daily life. I have too many appointments here to go on a road trip with my aunt so it's been postponed for a few weeks, if I can go - nearer the end of summer, maybe.
I am still having a really hard time - letting go and all that - I am not rushing to do so. There is no rush. It's quite possibly the worst emotional pain I have ever been through, despite all the financial and other problems we had (I really think if we had not had so many job and money problems consequitvely, we would've been okay - but those contributed to breakdown), plus, trying to do what I need to do and keep myself together and not a blubbering mess every time the "D" word comes up...but apparently this is normal, to feel like you're walking wounded everyday for as long as it takes until it starts to ease. When someone dies, they don't leave you on purpose - that decision made adds an extra layer to the grief. I never planned to be a failed marriage statistic - but I wasn't the one who ultimately gave up - I am still upset. Blaming myself, blaming him - and still missing my best friend. It's really hard. I am distracting myself making interior designs on my iPad app - where I can zone out and daydream (better than some distractions people turn to) and just generally leading a pretty quiet daily life. I have too many appointments here to go on a road trip with my aunt so it's been postponed for a few weeks, if I can go - nearer the end of summer, maybe.
Last edited:
KayTheCurler
Well-Known Member
Sending strength and healing to everyone with health concerns (their own and others). This is such a safe place to share worries and concerns.
I checked around my garden and put an assortment of fresh goodies out in the kitchen - so help yourselves everyone. Strawberries, raspberries, cherries, saskatoons and a few wild blueberries from a neighbour. I popped the cream in the fridge for safety - gotta follow the rules for wise food handling eh.
I checked around my garden and put an assortment of fresh goodies out in the kitchen - so help yourselves everyone. Strawberries, raspberries, cherries, saskatoons and a few wild blueberries from a neighbour. I popped the cream in the fridge for safety - gotta follow the rules for wise food handling eh.
Delightful Life
M&M, Cascadian Lovers
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
lots of proffered hugs, Wondertinis and free minicures for the gathered folk here
my brother, lucky guy, sells his house, puts his entire life in a storage locker and has been living on a friend's boat for less than a month and he's already been offered $120 to appear on Toronto Dominion's fab fag float...he's definitely a cutie :3
here's to a fagtastic world! rainbows, unicorns, and roofers for everyone
[image source: google image search]
my brother, lucky guy, sells his house, puts his entire life in a storage locker and has been living on a friend's boat for less than a month and he's already been offered $120 to appear on Toronto Dominion's fab fag float...he's definitely a cutie :3
here's to a fagtastic world! rainbows, unicorns, and roofers for everyone
[image source: google image search]
Thanks @ChemGal it is incredibly painful. I had two deaths of people in my family that I loved very much, in the past couple of years - but as much as I miss them it's not the same pain - this is even more of a major shock to my system because I thought, whatever it is, we'd get through it together. It hurts more because it shakes my trust on so many levels. Leaving him when the going got tough - and it really did, I don't deny that - wasn't an option in my mind. In my mind he was always included no matter what happens. I mean, those are not the vows we make right? But the vows don't mean much in reality - if one person decides to leave - for better or worse becomes irrelevant - and that special day you make those promises - as it turns out, is meaningless, and it's pretty devastating. And people lay all kinds of judgment and blame for marriages not working out - Especially married people, I discovered - and one side of the family can blame the other - but if one person leaves and doesn't want to try anymore, there is nothing the other can do about it - you can't blame the one who didn't give up - and in this case, nothing I can do about it if that's what he decides, even if I still feel committed - and it hurts like hell. Really.
Last edited:
So...right now just kind of living with those feelings and as much as well meaning people try to tell me to "get over it, focus on you now, now you can do what makes Kimmio happy, yaddayaddayadda" I don't want to hear it, he was and is a part of me - I am not ready to let go (people who don't like you to be in pain want to rush you through it for their own comfort) I am just getting through it in my own time. Even if it just means puttering around with interior design apps and not getting dressed until (after) noon, for awhile. I think that's ok. It's going to take awhile, several months, years, maybe, to "get over it" I don't know (it's taken my mom 35 and counting - she is still not over her first marriage breakup) - but I will get through it to some "normal" version of life again.
Last edited:
i think it's more about learning to live with the pain, and then it doesn't hurt so acutely - it's still there somewhere but not so raw - than actually getting over it. I think.because do we ever actually "get over" losing someone we love? If you really love someone you never actually forget them but you learn to live without them taking a place of priority in your mind - that's gonna take awhile.
Last edited:
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Good holiday ???? It's hard to say.
Yes, it was. Seelerman got to visit an old friend when we stopped for a night just outside Montreal on the way up. I had an opportunity to spend time with both my sisters. We played 'Hand & Foot' (a card game) and 'Mexican Train' (dominos). I got to go swimming once. We went square dancing. We had lunch at a unique restaurant in Elliot Lake (and too many meals in McDonald's while on the road). The husbands had an opportunity to work together putting a new floor and steps on a deck. I met some of my sister's friends and now I can put a face to the names when they come up in conversation. Yes, it was good.
Both my sisters are getting older. I expected that of my older sister - she is obese and her health has always been poor and I was prepared for it to be much worse this time - I actually was surprised to find that she has lost quite a bit of weight and is getting around better than before. Her husband also seemed better than I expected - she suspects he is in the early stages of alzimers and he had a mini-stroke earlier this year.
Younger sister also has health problems - bad coughing spells and wheezing despite using a puffer.
Add that to my Parkinsons and you have three old ladies doddling around.
Unfortunately my older sister also has personality problems - despite intelligence (she was a nurse), she seems to have problems understanding and communicating, and suspects everybody (especially me) are somehow against her.
example:
(I get up early and prepare for breakfast)
Eventually the others get up, I pour coffee for everyone and we sit around the livingroom. After awhile she decides that she wants a yogurt drink. I say that I've put some on the table. She gets upset -
Sister - 'Then they've been out for over an hour.'
Me - 'Yes, I suppose so.'
Sister - 'They'll be spoiled. We'll have to throw them out.'
Me (and others) - 'Why?'
Sister - 'You can't leave milk products out for more than half an hour.'
Me (and others) express surprise.
Me - 'I'm surprised to hear that. I'm sure my grandson and other kids take them in their school lunches. They are out for four hours or so.'
Sister (angry and upset) - 'My doctor told me to drink them. I'm not getting enough nutrition. I need the protein.'
Me bewildered - where did this come from.
Sister - 'They aren't just for kids. Anybody can drink them.'
Younger sister tries to sooth her while younger sister's husband reads label.
Meanwhile Seelerman is annoyed with me - why do you bait her and argue with her, you know what she is like?
Six people - small house - four days and it was time for hugs and goodbyes and a sigh of relief. And saddness because it is quite possible that I will never see that sister again.
On the other hand, the time we spent with younger sister (a few days on the trip up and back - she lives near Kingston) was delightful.
It's good to be home. We rested yesterday. Today we will start getting back into our routines.
Yes, it was. Seelerman got to visit an old friend when we stopped for a night just outside Montreal on the way up. I had an opportunity to spend time with both my sisters. We played 'Hand & Foot' (a card game) and 'Mexican Train' (dominos). I got to go swimming once. We went square dancing. We had lunch at a unique restaurant in Elliot Lake (and too many meals in McDonald's while on the road). The husbands had an opportunity to work together putting a new floor and steps on a deck. I met some of my sister's friends and now I can put a face to the names when they come up in conversation. Yes, it was good.
Both my sisters are getting older. I expected that of my older sister - she is obese and her health has always been poor and I was prepared for it to be much worse this time - I actually was surprised to find that she has lost quite a bit of weight and is getting around better than before. Her husband also seemed better than I expected - she suspects he is in the early stages of alzimers and he had a mini-stroke earlier this year.
Younger sister also has health problems - bad coughing spells and wheezing despite using a puffer.
Add that to my Parkinsons and you have three old ladies doddling around.
Unfortunately my older sister also has personality problems - despite intelligence (she was a nurse), she seems to have problems understanding and communicating, and suspects everybody (especially me) are somehow against her.
example:
(I get up early and prepare for breakfast)
Eventually the others get up, I pour coffee for everyone and we sit around the livingroom. After awhile she decides that she wants a yogurt drink. I say that I've put some on the table. She gets upset -
Sister - 'Then they've been out for over an hour.'
Me - 'Yes, I suppose so.'
Sister - 'They'll be spoiled. We'll have to throw them out.'
Me (and others) - 'Why?'
Sister - 'You can't leave milk products out for more than half an hour.'
Me (and others) express surprise.
Me - 'I'm surprised to hear that. I'm sure my grandson and other kids take them in their school lunches. They are out for four hours or so.'
Sister (angry and upset) - 'My doctor told me to drink them. I'm not getting enough nutrition. I need the protein.'
Me bewildered - where did this come from.
Sister - 'They aren't just for kids. Anybody can drink them.'
Younger sister tries to sooth her while younger sister's husband reads label.
Meanwhile Seelerman is annoyed with me - why do you bait her and argue with her, you know what she is like?
Six people - small house - four days and it was time for hugs and goodbyes and a sigh of relief. And saddness because it is quite possible that I will never see that sister again.
On the other hand, the time we spent with younger sister (a few days on the trip up and back - she lives near Kingston) was delightful.
It's good to be home. We rested yesterday. Today we will start getting back into our routines.
KayTheCurler
Well-Known Member
So hard to adapt to the changes we see in our family members. As we all age the difficulties seem to get harder. It is hard enough with friends but family members tug our heartstrings more, I think. I really struggle with knowing when to just shrug and ignore something nonsensical and when to point out how foolish it is!
I need to use a bit of time today to get back into routine for a bit too. There is camping gear to put away, laundry to do etc after spending some time at the lake. Instead of getting on with that I've been playing with the photos I took while away! Next time we head out there will be grandkids in the group - and that means lots of thinking about food - taking what they will eat - giving thought to the quantities of each type - thinking about keeping it all safely - I swear they have hollow legs!
I need to use a bit of time today to get back into routine for a bit too. There is camping gear to put away, laundry to do etc after spending some time at the lake. Instead of getting on with that I've been playing with the photos I took while away! Next time we head out there will be grandkids in the group - and that means lots of thinking about food - taking what they will eat - giving thought to the quantities of each type - thinking about keeping it all safely - I swear they have hollow legs!