Room For All

Welcome to Wondercafe2!

A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!

Register Log in
I'm back from Kitchener but will be going back tomorrow to finalize plans for a memorial service. He passed away while I was still in Kitchener but I was not present. I had left about 10 minutes before to take his wife home and grab some lunch but youngest brother was still with him.

Dad had done a fair bit of pre-planning before the dementia took hold but we need to meet with the funeral home he prepaid to confirm plans, dates and times and such. He became Lutheran (part of the Lutheran Church - Canada) when he remarried so it will be in that church. He asked to have a poem that Grandad (ie. his father) wrote on death read and I've read it at two other family funerals (Grandad and Mom) so I'm on deck to do so again.
 
Last edited:
Mendalla, I am sorry that this has happened but I am glad that the suffering is over. You have your memories and
you can pass them on to your son. Thinking of you as you lovingly go about the business of saying good bye.
 
Condolences Mendalla - even when death is somewhat welcome as an end to suffering, it is still often sad for those of us left to mourn. I'm glad you were with him for a while - I know that was very meaningful to me when my mom died so many years ago. Be gentle with yourselves at this tender time.
 
Mendalla, extending sincere sympathy to you and your family. A sad and difficult time. Memories must be flooding your mind. Times of loss and funeral/family gatherings can be emotional and stressful, so take very good care of yourself. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your Dad.
 
I'm glad you could be with famiy-and offer and receive support at your Father's death. He was not alone and knew all of you cared-even if a crowd was not there the moment he passed. Condolences to you and your family and a shout out to those who pre-plan-and even pre-pay as the task is easier for those left behind.
 
Sorry to hear you have a memorial service to plan and attend, though I'm sure you will make sure it is a fitting final tribute to your dad. Wishing you and your extended family some peace and support as you walk this part of your road.
 
Tabitha said:
I booked today off . I'm allowed a handful of days off without pay during the schoolyear and have been feeling behaind and stressed in many areas of my life. I took a mystery quilt cousre Sat and Sun. Quite challenging and lots to do to finish that up. I've already put a load of laundry on. Tomoorow wil travel 1 hour and take my oldest out for lunch on his birthday. 4 days off is a real treat.
Click to expand...

I don't know where you live but it wasn't a course on a type of quilting from India, was it? I think it's called Kantha. My cousin took one this past weekend in Calgary and the world can be a very small place!

I'm glad you got to take some time off to rest up and hope lunch was good!
 
Mendalla said:
I'm back from Kitchener but will be going back tomorrow to finalize plans for a memorial service. He passed away while I was still in Kitchener but I was not present. I had left about 10 minutes before to take his wife home and grab some lunch but youngest brother was still with him.

Dad had done a fair bit of pre-planning before the dementia took hold but we need to meet with the funeral home he prepaid to confirm plans, dates and times and such. He became Lutheran (part of the Lutheran Church - Canada) when he remarried so it will be in that church. He asked to have a poem that Grandad (ie. his father) wrote on death read and I've read it at two other family funerals (Grandad and Mom) so I'm on deck to do so again.
Click to expand...

My condolences to you Mendalla. So difficult to lose our parents. I'm glad (that is not the word I want to use) that you had the chance to say good-bye. The poem seems like a really poignant thing to share and pass on - a great tradition. Sending you strength in the coming days and weeks.
 
I'm aware that not everyone reads room for all. I wonder about starting a thread for condolences for Mendalla. Anyone? If you agree, maybe someone could start one today.
 
Oh, babies are so lovely. How exciting!

Hugs, seeler, it's hard not to see them regularly. I'm enormously lucky that my two live in town, so I see them quite frequently. I have missed them dreadfully when they've been elsewhere.

Enjoy your 4 day weekend, Tabitha. My work life is quite thoroughly stressful at present, so I think I'm going to do that with the weekend after next; just get it out of my head for a couple of days.

It's gone really cold here today, after an unseasonably warm sunny day yesterday. *brrrr* I'll put on some pots of hot tea and coffee.

Edited to add, love and strength to you and yours, Mendalla. Always hard to lose a parent; they are the people who know us best, so we lose part of our history when we lose them. The poem sounds great; I love traditions like that.
 
Will do, Pinga . . . and hopefully everyone who posted here in the room will go over and offer condolences in the "Mendalla" thread here in relationships.
 
Memorial and visitation are planned. It's going to be his minister officiating but at the funeral home's chapel rather than the church. We decided we wanted to keep everything in one place. We had absolutely no idea what to tell the funeral director to expect in terms of attendance. Family is about 25 all told (Dad's family, his sister's family, and his widow's family). Probably some members of his church and maybe the old family United Church (my sister-in-law has received condolences from someone that she knows from that church so likely word is spreading). Some friends and neighbors, perhaps. So we tossed them a number and we'll see (No *shrug* smiley here. Must look into that someday.)

Thank you for starting that thread, Beloved. It does mean a lot to me to know that the WC2 community are with me on this journey. I have yet to meet any of you face-to-face but you're friends all the same. I hope you'll all be okay if I share a link to that thread with my family down the road (maybe closer to the memorial, which is on Monday). They don't know any of you that I know of but I think it will still be meaningful to them to see it.

 
It's all right with me Mendalla-after all my parents go to the same church as your aunt!


@ justme I live in the interior of BC-and no it was not on Indian quilting.
 
It is hard to know how many to expect at a funeral. When I worked at a trust company, I sometimes attended funerals with less than a dozen. One, I remember, for an elderly spinster had me (as a rep for the company as executor), her lawyer who had recently managed her affairs, her care-giver and one elderly former neighbour. Everyone else she knew was either gone or in nursing homes, and her only nephew lived on the other side of the continent. (the SPCA and the church got her small estate)
But generally I would say to be prepared for more than you expect. Family, friends, neighbours, church, clubs, people he used to work with, in-laws, and people who come to offer support to the family.
Don't be surprised if more people come than you first estimate.
 
I've had sleeping issues for about a week, partially due to the lymph node problems. Not getting to sleep until 3, 4 or 5 am and often sleeping on the couch as it's more comfortable to keep my head propped up that way. I got home from my exercise class and was just exhausted. I've decided to start treating after as to get it done when Chemguy is around it's getting a little close to that 24 hour mark because neither of us want to be rushed trying to do it before he heads to work. Seems to be working.

The cold is not helping though. Even when I was hot in the class my veins were pretty constricted. A really hot bath and slipping into slipper socks and sweat pants worked at least. I managed to fall asleep pretty much right after. And now, here I am, 3:45 and awake! My lymph node is big enough that I can feel it easily, but for once it isn't causing any pain despite sleeping in the bed normally so hopefully that will get better now.
 
ChemGal, I hope you were able to get some sleep after that . . . and I hope today has a ray of sunshine in it for you . . .
 
First real snow here this a.m. Too bad about those pots and bits of lawn furniture left lying here and there; hopefully we will have a last thaw!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top