Room For All

Welcome to Wondercafe2!

A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!

Register Log in
Winter seems to be settling in early. Last Sunday's snow hasn't completely melted away, and today there is a cold wind - although it is clear and bright and cozy sitting here by the fire looking out the window.
 
This morning was possibly Lucy the hound's last swim in the lake. As I was heaving the sticks, there were snow flurries whirling about. They haven't stuck, but it's cold and grey and damp outside with intermittent precipitation. A day to be inside with a perpetual pot of hot tea and fresh oatmeal raisin cookies.
 
We're inside today. Chemguy decided to do a bunch of vacuuming and I think I just really need more rest. So far I've watched tv, played computer games and tried to pull together some laundry loads, having to rest in between. I don't know what's going on with the lymph node, if it keeps it up for a few more days I think I might just see if a doctor will give me antibiotics. Not that I think I have an infection besides my skin, but it seemed to work in the past. When I first get up I can't even think clearly to do anything to help it, I just sit up in bed for a while.
Chemguy will have to shovel, the snow has only half melted on the sidewalk and driveway and if he doesn't get to it, it's just going to harden overnight and stay that way with how cold the next few days will be.
I'm hoping to dig some Christmas stuff out - see what I have for bows, bags, etc. and at least pull the Christmas cards together, I'm not certain if I have enough of those for this year.
 
Christmas cards????
Yes, I look at the calendar. I don't know about you but I found this to be a very short fall (my favourite season). Summer lingered well into September and I wore shorts until the 21st. And now, early November, and its winter.
And yes, its time to think about cards, and getting the lights up, and what will I get Seelergirl and family for Christmas (I have one idea for Seelerman), and cleaning, and digging out Christmas decorations, and ...

Meanwhile I'm looking forward to a book-signing after church tomorrow.
 
I won't be digging out the Christmas decorations quite yet. I had gone to the dollarstore to pickup some fancy Christmas tins, we had a few, but after names were drawn we knew some others who would like them. They were already getting down to about half of what there was when we picked some up on the 1st, with the snowfall people get into Christmas mode. I find the big gift bags, in all directions are difficult to find at times, I think I bought some, want to go through that before I buy more. I love buying things like that, but when the supply gets a little large Chemguy gets grumpy :)
Costco has had some nice cards out for a while now, those won't be there much longer I'm guessing, will pick them up this week if needed. Some of mine arrived after Christmas last year, I'm hoping to get them done a little sooner this year, and I need to plan that there will be bad days when I can't do the things I had planned to get done.
 
Ugh, I will start off by saying I love Christmas. But, it is really bothering me how early everything starts now, can we not at least wait until after remembrance day? What harm is there in waiting until November 12th? And the part that bugs me the most is that I'm forced to follow along because if I don't shop now everything is gone. In fact, I bought all my new Christmas decorations today because Michaels has amazing sales and I had a 25% off coupon, but everything is now in the basement and will stay there until the 1st of December.
 
Greywolf336 said:
Ugh, I will start off by saying I love Christmas. But, it is really bothering me how early everything starts now, can we not at least wait until after remembrance day? What harm is there in waiting until November 12th? And the part that bugs me the most is that I'm forced to follow along because if I don't shop now everything is gone. In fact, I bought all my new Christmas decorations today because Michaels has amazing sales and I had a 25% off coupon, but everything is now in the basement and will stay there until the 1st of December.
Click to expand...
I'm the same, when it comes to decorating. I've been surprised by the number of decorations up already around here. Christmas blowup snoopies, lights on, etc. When it comes to buying things, I don't mind doing it as I see things. I did some shopping in Jan.
 
Beloved said:
Yay to Justme family windfall!

What is DBT, Carolla or Justme?

Cooler temperatures here now . . . -13 right now - only the start of a long cold winter.
Click to expand...

DBT is dialetical behaviour therapy. It is a form of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) but in my opinion much more effective because it deals with much more than just how to change your thoughts.

DBT was "invented' by a woman named Dr. Marsha Linehan who had what is now (unfortunately) called Borderline Personality Disorder (although most medical professionals would like to see it renamed emotional dysregulation). I do not have BPD but have intense emotions, I was lucky in that the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) looked the other way and let me into their program. Most DBT "courses" have two parts - a skills based group and an individual coaching session - the individual coaching session is what sealed the deal for me - my worker is amazing - I only have two more sessions with her. She is a social worker but in some places OTs do it.

A concise explanation can be found on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy. It's not exactly the way I would describe it but I think it depends on what you get from the program or how you approach it. There is a great book called "Depressed and Anxious" and the subtitle is something about DBT. I can't remember the author and it seems to have walked away from its home right now but if anyone is interested I can look it up.

Essentially the program is divided into fours but the overall goal is to help the participant create a life worth living.

So first you have to stop making things "worse" so that's where Distress Tolerance comes in. So you learn effective coping mechanisms for dealing with the intense emotions. The problem with people who have intense emotions is that they are, well, super duper intense - like concentrated orange juice vs orange juice that already has the water added to it which often makes people feel that they have to act on these emotions. DBT teaches you how to dial down the emotions so that you can get through the time and then move on to something more "interesting" or to addressing the problem that upset you. It makes such a difference - I used it this morning after having a panic attack in my sleep and it allowed me to get some stuff done this morning and then when I couldn't cope this afternoon (anxiety hangover) I used other skills to get my energy back and now I'm doing laundry and other stuff. I think this is an incredible tool kit for anyone with anxiety to learn - it was so very powerful. The trick is that the person kinda has to buy in that it will work and has to think to use the skill (the thinking to use the skill is a big one for me). Often our DBT leader (a psychiatrist) would say "are you willing to get more willing" and then if we were she would help us come up with solutions to not using the skills.

Emotional Regulation - teaches you how to better regulate your emotions (not control). One important aspect here for me was acceptance. I used to get so mad at myself for having X emotion or not being able to do Y or for Z being so difficult. I now kind of acknowledge that Z is difficult for me and give myself an imaginary hug and tell myself that it is going to be ok because I have skills to cope. This does not mean that you have to LIKE the fact that you have X, but you accept that you do so that you can live the best life you can given the circumstances. There's also skills for reducing emotional volatility.

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills. These skills are about how to better interact with people and especially the difficult people in your life. It was very interesting to learn - I don't really have a lot of problems interpersonally speaking, but learning the skills has made me way, way more effective and I think I am a better listener to and definitely a bit more fair to myself.

Core Mindfulness - it's basically mindfulness with practical applications. One thing from here that really, really help me is STOP (stop, take a breathe; observe (like a reporter looking at the scene) and pause.

Sorry this was so long and I guess I've hijacked the thread a bit. It's like healing touch - I want the world to know my story!
 
Core Mindfulness - it's basically mindfulness with practical applications. One thing from here that really, really help me is STOP (stop, take a breathe; observe (like a reporter looking at the scene) and pause.

Whoops sorry - the P stands for participate - to dial your emotions down a bit so that you can focus on something else.

 
We have baby fish :)
We knew a guppy was pregnant, yesterday she kept resting on a plastic thing used to clean the inside of the tank. I asked if it was time to put her into the basket (which we finally have!), Chemguy said she wasn't that big yet, so it was probably too soon. He sits and just watches them for long periods of time, and he saw her have one, so he dug out the basket, got her in, fed her and she immediately had another baby.
We left her in overnight, he took her out this morning (we saw her eat one). Chemguy rescued at least one of the babies in the big tank. He claims there were 5 in the basket, since the mom was removed, we can only see 4. There are some others in the big tank too, as she had more since being taken out. Chemguy saw one being eaten by a barb.

I hope some of these will make it. In our isolation tank we had babies for a while. It was odd, we assumed they showed up together, but one was clearly a platy, red in colour with the same markings as it's mom. The other was clear. The clear one grew much slower and then seemed to reach a max size that was way too small to put in the big tank. Then one day, it tried to eat a bit of a floating plant that was way too big and it died with the food stuck in it's mouth. Shortly after, we saw a baby in the big tank, so Chemguy stuck the platy and the new baby in the basket together. The platy seemed happy, but we couldn't find the baby, we're not sure if it found a way to squeeze out or if our adolescent platy ate it. So to date, we have had one baby successfully grow up to be big enough to swim with our other fish. I really want some more!

It's also fun to see how they will turn out, we have 3 different types of guppies and one of those types is also a mixed bag, as they were just mixed fancy fin. The guppies and platys can also mate, although it's not as likely, especially since we have both sexes of both. If it was only males of one and only females of the other it would be more likely.

As far as I can tell now, the babies are all guppy. Too soon to know what their colours will be.
 
Tropical fish are fun to watch. Seelerboy had a small starter tank when we lived in Ontario. Several different types - black mollies, swords, etc. Some babies were born in the big tank -- and some survived by hiding among the plants, rocks, sunken ship, etc. that we had docorating the tank.

He gave them away when we moved in the winter -- too difficult to transport. We never had any luck with them down here -- maybe the difference in the water or the location of his tank.
 
Seeler said:
Some babies were born in the big tank -- and some survived by hiding among the plants, rocks, sunken ship, etc. that we had docorating the tank.
Click to expand...
Not in our tank. I think we have way too many plants (I have trouble finding all our fish), there's also a plastic log and another big plastic rock thing with hiding places. The barbs are too good of hunters though. We had bought shrimp, one lasted a total of about an hour. The rest maybe a week. When Chemguy watched the baby get eaten he thought the barb couldn't see it, hidden in the plants pretty good - not a chance!

I had fish as a kid, but we never had mixed sexes that might produce babies.
 
Interesting, ChemGal . . . I've never had a tank of fish, but as children we did have goldfish in a bowl at different times. My daughter also had goldfish in a bowl. I did have guppies one year when I was away at community college. Kept waiting for them to have babies, but if they ever did I never saw any.
 
I agree - fish can be a really interesting hobby! We had 3 tanks in our rec room when I was growing up; my husband had a big tank, and then we had a smaller one in our family home once the kids were old enough to enjoy it. Your comment about the shrimp lasting an hour made me laugh - we certainly had those experiences! Then there were those free fun fair goldfish who seemed to last forever!! In her teen years, our daughter had piranhas - yuck. She cared for them attentively for a long time, but gradually drifted, and I decided not to take them on ... let's just say it didn't end well ... they get hungry ... and well ... survival of the fittest. It was rather gruesome because they were all quite large!!
 
Ah, piranhas. What a wonderful fish! Wonderful as long as they are in a river in South America and I'm up here well North of their natural range, that is. IOW, I love 'em but I'm not about to start keep a tank full of them. Rather like sharks, really. One of my favorite animals but I'm not getting too close.

We had an aquarium for much of the eighties while I was in high school and university. Had a few litters of guppies and, I think, swordtails as well. It's in my basement right now because we've never felt the inclination to fix it up and get some fish.

Mrs. M and I had goldfish for a while at our house in Hamilton in the nineties but that was in a smaller tank not the old family aquarium, IIRC. Last one did move to London with us in '99 but didn't live long beyond that.
 
I had too look up swordtails, it's amazing how much they look like guppies or platys. I better not give Chemguy any ideas about piranahs. We have 3 tanks now (he bought all 3 brand new). I'm still not sure why. One is an isolation tank for new or sick fish. I'm not sure if the plan is to transfer the babies to the small tank while they grow up. A tank is currently in our undeveloped basement so the water can be cycled.
 
I see on another thread that beloved and i will both be traveling early tomorrow morning. Setting the alarm for 3:30, expect to be on road by 4am. Snowstorm due here by 11am so I expect to be well ahead of it.

Had a good weekend with my sisters family. Now back to work.

My husband had fish when we were dating. He and his best buddy were into breeding of them with best bud having many tanks.

I loved the old plecostamus(?).
 
I booked today off . I'm allowed a handful of days off without pay during the schoolyear and have been feeling behaind and stressed in many areas of my life. I took a mystery quilt cousre Sat and Sun. Quite challenging and lots to do to finish that up. I've already put a load of laundry on. Tomoorow wil travel 1 hour and take my oldest out for lunch on his birthday. 4 days off is a real treat.
 
Enjoy your day with your son!
I sometimes wish that I could drive to Korea and spend a day with my son. Years ago we talked about a visit--how it could be arranged. Seelergirl and Granddaughter went one year and really enjoyed it. We had it in mind to go a few years later - but that was the year Seelergirl got sick and Seelerboy came home for the summer. Now my health isn't up to it. I will wait until his next visit (probably next summer). Maybe we'll get a day just to go for a drive and enjoy the countryside.
Sorry, Tabitha - I didn't mean to rain on your parade. Enjoy your son's company. Have fun!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top