How not to react when your son tells you he's gay

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That's fine, Jae. Sounds like you and chansen are close to sorting this out yourselves anyway.
 
chansen said:
The "good reputation" ship sailed long ago. Last I knew you were trying to get it back to shore.
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As a pastor I have a very good reputation - and people from my church and denomination are able to access these discussion forums if they so choose.

chansen said:
That, is a valid point. I take it back and apologize. I read "orientation" into that, not "behaviour". I withdraw my appeal.
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Thank you - and of course I accept.
 
very good jae and chansen ..... you have sorted it out ....
Now back to the original post....
I listened to the whole thing ..... over and over.....
I help with LGBTQ youth that no longer live with their families that have shared similar stories.
Some much much worse.........
There are many stories I could share and many I have been involved in .....
That is why I am so passionate about helping in this portion of the garden.
 
I watched the whole thing as uncomfortable as it was. Like Rita said...I know there are families like this and many worse. Daniel is very strong. I would've made plans to leave long ago if I were him. It sounds like he didn't have a plan or that maybe he actually was forced 'out' and didn't actually tell voluntarily.
 
I haven't listened; however, I have a regret from my own life. I approached my mother about a relationship with a fellow who was not caucasion. She freaked , and it was awful. I wish that I had reapproached her, after she had had time to ponder it,

I hope that the parents in this video realize how badly they behaved, how wrong they are, and that there is an ability to find some form of reconcilation.
 
Whoever it was, Facebook was the least of their concerns. This was on the front page of Reddit for a day. Over a million people have now seen it.
 
I almost asked a brown girl out once. I decided she was cute, but ultimately too annoying to date, so I never asked. It struck me that my parents would have flipped. I'll never know.

I wonder what they'd say about Penelope Cruz?
 
Pinga said:
I haven't listened; however, I have a regret from my own life. I approached my mother about a relationship with a fellow who was not caucasion.
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My mother didn't freak out - but she did object when I shared with her that my Korean girlfriend and I had decided to get married.

Now - they are pretty good friends.

Pinga said:
I hope that the parents in this video realize how badly they behaved, how wrong they are, and that there is an ability to find some form of reconcilation.
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Yes - the thing about this video is that it is a snapshot - it shows only what happened at that particular point in time - and not in the days - weeks - and months that followed.
 
Sad, Sad, Sad. Difficult to make out in parts - at least three, maybe four people shouting, then hitting - a boy having his parents who he should be able to rely upon to love him unconditionally attack him. And having no where to turn.
I hope that some friend or church group is able to offer him shelter and help him to find a safe place to live.
 
I have listened. It sounds like his family was organizing an intervention?

He kept his stuff together, which makes me wonder how much abuse he has taken before? It seems like it was not a shock , though her attack in front of others might have been.

I hope he is cared for and gets to learn about family that loves you for who you are...not what they want you to be.
 
I am not gay. I am married to a man and don't get attracted to woman (other than to envy their hair or physique because I want that). I was (am) a "tom boy" and hyper and didn't date (had crushes but nothing materialized). I met a woman when I was 21 who I connected with intensely - we are definitely soul mates. We ended up living together (in a two bedroom apartment) and buying a house together. We faced quite a bit of discrimination - she even lost a job because they thought she was gay when they heard we had bought a house together; things were tough with my parents at first but it passed quickly; some of her family (her Mother was dead) reacted very badly and taught their kids that we were akin to Satan - I can't remember what else there was. We have both since married and love our husbands dearly but know that we are also soulmates and would do anything for one another (I am so lucky to have two soul mates). I really don't understand why people care what other people's orientation is - it doesn't effect you at all. I know some people worry that gay people may hit on them - but I don't understand how that is any different than anyone else hitting on you - just say no and if they continue walk away and if it goes too far report them. I have a cousin who is gay - his parents are very religious. He has HIV - they were more upset to find out that he was gay than about the disease. They also have said that they love him, but don't love his behaviour and that he won't be going to heaven. I just don't understand. One of my favourite parts of the United Church's communion is when my Minister says "all are welcome at God's table". Also, the more you make a behaviour "bad" the more you can encourage subversive behaviour and not be able to address it. I don't know what the point of my post is...just that I kind of understand how hurt gays must feel when they are unfairly treated and how I don't understand why people are bothered by it. (I didn't watch the video - I can't handle it)
 
It's sad that this kind of thing happens even in this day and age. There are examples of people reacting badly at first and later coming around. I know of one person who is super close to her mom now even though her mom's first reaction to finding out her daughter was lesbian was complete non acceptance. Of course there was no violence either, I can only imagine how much worse that would make it.
 
Justme said:
I am not gay. I am married to a man and don't get attracted to woman (other than to envy their hair or physique because I want that). I was (am) a "tom boy" and hyper and didn't date (had crushes but nothing materialized). I met a woman when I was 21 who I connected with intensely - we are definitely soul mates. We ended up living together (in a two bedroom apartment) and buying a house together. We faced quite a bit of discrimination - she even lost a job because they thought she was gay when they heard we had bought a house together; things were tough with my parents at first but it passed quickly; some of her family (her Mother was dead) reacted very badly and taught their kids that we were akin to Satan - I can't remember what else there was. We have both since married and love our husbands dearly but know that we are also soulmates and would do anything for one another (I am so lucky to have two soul mates). I really don't understand why people care what other people's orientation is - it doesn't effect you at all. I know some people worry that gay people may hit on them - but I don't understand how that is any different than anyone else hitting on you - just say no and if they continue walk away and if it goes too far report them. I have a cousin who is gay - his parents are very religious. He has HIV - they were more upset to find out that he was gay than about the disease. They also have said that they love him, but don't love his behaviour and that he won't be going to heaven. I just don't understand. One of my favourite parts of the United Church's communion is when my Minister says "all are welcome at God's table". Also, the more you make a behaviour "bad" the more you can encourage subversive behaviour and not be able to address it. I don't know what the point of my post is...just that I kind of understand how hurt gays must feel when they are unfairly treated and how I don't understand why people are bothered by it. (I didn't watch the video - I can't handle it)
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i grok

what's especially troubling t'me is that we know that disgust is a powerful emotion that is hard to get rid of once one has it and it can colour all of our actions and lives

so these people who 'hate the sin, but love the sinner'...i really don't know aboot that...i'd think that unless they are specifically trained in certain mentalities, they are going to have to deal with the disgust, which will naturally affect their ability to agape...
 
well ... my daughter has a friend ... thinking about MTF transistion ... the whole nine yards I believe ... she calls me for advice ... If I had to classify my sexuality at this point I would go with asexual ... let's just say I have had enough ... there is nothing at this point that shocks or disgusts me (at least not to a degree that I refuse to be analytical about it) and my daughter is well aware of this ... however, I am so far removed from the age bracket that we are dealing with here that I can only look at it as a biology experiment ... for the person that is contemplating the transition I am sure it is much more complex than that ... any advice for me to give my daughter in her role of support ... anyone?
 
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