RitaTG
Well-Known Member
WonderfulHi RitaTG. Yes. As I've already posted, I will warmly welcome my brother.
...love to hear that!!
estranged family members
- Thread starter Tabitha
- Start date
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...love to hear that!!
KayTheCurler
Well-Known Member
Hmmmm..........I wonder what would happen if Jae's brother's partner showed up at Jae's church? Would there be a warm and genuine welcome for her from Jae and the gathered community?
crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
sorry, I couldn't resist
Pinga
Room for All
Wonderful
RitaTG, I don't know about you, but if someone "warmly welcomes me", but will not "warmly welcome my partner", then ...they have not warmly welcomed me.
@Pr. Jae is being precise in his responses to include his brother, but, not his partner.
So....RitaTG, I have a sense you have had that partial acceptance before, and would get the nuance that he is expressing.
Pinga
Room for All
You cannot define your brother's partner, @Pr. Jae You can try, but, only your brother can define who his partner is.
Your failure to recognize who he names as partner, means that you are not welcoming him.
It is as simple as that.
You are welcoming and appreciating his ex-partner, though, I would say, you are not helping her , as the relationship has been finished for more than a week or two.
So, @RitaTG and others that read the thread....watch the semantics that are being played.
Your failure to recognize who he names as partner, means that you are not welcoming him.
It is as simple as that.
You are welcoming and appreciating his ex-partner, though, I would say, you are not helping her , as the relationship has been finished for more than a week or two.
So, @RitaTG and others that read the thread....watch the semantics that are being played.
Jae, I just started with a new small group tonight. We're doing a series of films/discussion called The Easter Experience. Tonight we watched Jesus washing the disciples feet....including Judas.
Oh it isn't me who defines who his partner is... He was married in holy matrimony in a church. He has a covenant with his wife and with God. He's still married to this day. His covenant goes on. It's as simple as that.
That's wonderful Waterfall. I do hope that you enjoy your small group. I've seen such groups really have a meaningful impact in people's lives, including in my own. I'm a bit puzzled as to how that fits into this thread on estranged family. I guess Judas was in a way kind of like a brother to Jesus.
Pinga
Room for All
Hey @Pr. Jae -- You and I are not going to get anywhere on this one. I see that welcoming someone means embracing them and who they love. You do not...you say that you can welcome someone, but deny their love.
I will just say, should you do that to me, I would tell you where exactly you could stick your so-called welcome. I would stand with whom I loved. I would try to be gracious in your presence; however, I would be clear that if you wished to spend time with me, then my partner was part of that visitation. I would hope my mother understand the importance of inclusion and welcomed both of us into her house. If the people there chose not to be gracious to my partner, then, I would expect them to vacate my mother's house......or work it out with my mother.
I would NOT drop my partner due to what I perceived as out-dated and unfair lack of acceptance of my partner. My partner's inclusion would override my requirement to spend time with my brother who could not find the way to find Christian love and grace in our meeting.
There are some loves which should not be Pinga. Like the romantic love a married man has for a woman who is not his wife. You disagree?
Pinga said:
Okay.
Pinga said:
Okay.
Our major point of disagreement Pinga is just who my brother's rightful partner is. Thing is - I believe it to be his wife.
Pinga
Room for All
Jae:
You cannot choose who is someone's rightful partner. You can continue to have a relastionship with their old partner.
I have firsthand experience at this one.
I have a sibling who has been married 4 times. I am friendly and have been in touch with his first wife over the years. His current wife is welcomed when they visit. We are not super close, but, dont' have as many shared experiences, and visits tend to be once every 5 years.
I have another sibling who has had multiple partners since her marriage broke up. All were welcomed, though some had controls around engagement due to concerns regarding impact on others. Her husband and father of her children is a good friend and invited, along with his current wife to family gatherings.
My other siblings have each been married once, and so, I, my husband, and they and their partners have lots and lots of shared experiences. Some good, some not.
In each case, I respect my siblings partner choice and welcome them, at the same time as I continue the relationship if appropriate with an earlier model.
You cannot name who your brother loves or chooses to build a relationship with. That is his partner.
You do have a relationship with his first partner, that is awesome.
You have made a choice to exclude his partner (cohabitant, love). It is not welcoming to invite your brother, but, put landmines for his partner when she walks through. it is judgemental and exclusionary...far from welcoming.
You cannot choose who is someone's rightful partner. You can continue to have a relastionship with their old partner.
I have firsthand experience at this one.
I have a sibling who has been married 4 times. I am friendly and have been in touch with his first wife over the years. His current wife is welcomed when they visit. We are not super close, but, dont' have as many shared experiences, and visits tend to be once every 5 years.
I have another sibling who has had multiple partners since her marriage broke up. All were welcomed, though some had controls around engagement due to concerns regarding impact on others. Her husband and father of her children is a good friend and invited, along with his current wife to family gatherings.
My other siblings have each been married once, and so, I, my husband, and they and their partners have lots and lots of shared experiences. Some good, some not.
In each case, I respect my siblings partner choice and welcome them, at the same time as I continue the relationship if appropriate with an earlier model.
You cannot name who your brother loves or chooses to build a relationship with. That is his partner.
You do have a relationship with his first partner, that is awesome.
You have made a choice to exclude his partner (cohabitant, love). It is not welcoming to invite your brother, but, put landmines for his partner when she walks through. it is judgemental and exclusionary...far from welcoming.
It quite probably would have reactions of spontaneous fire ... and many would be burned ...
That's a W'u-Terre ... makes the stone we live on go round for aerie and aeration ... got for as sepsis ... an Cephus ...
Large hooters to yah ... the menu was good when I was there and the scenery ... just don't touch the artwork ... could be haute ... cuisine?
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There is another srting on the object of woman ... if man doesn't have that part is he missing a piece of soul? Tis a dark comment ... perhaps to be taken subjectively for 1000 dais as a time of full phi lament?
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Yes of course Kay, we extend a hearty handshake of welcome to everyone.
Let me get this straight Jae. If the person your brother lives with and considers his partner attended your church she would receive a genuine welcome and full inclusion into your church family. My understanding is that you are a deacon in that church so I am presuming that you would be one of the ones welcoming her, along with your brother. Yet you cannot bring yourself to welcoming this person into your home or your heart. Wouldn't this be difficult for you? and for everyone involved?
I have a feeling that the welcome you would extend to gay or lesbian people would be similar to the 'hearty handshake of welcome' you would extend to this person.