Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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You just never know said:
A Good Way to Begin the Day

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "HOUSEWORK"

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
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This could be a'mousin ... which eventually in the primal mind will get altered to amuse 'n why there's that scratch in the medium that Wahl to over come ... aD calm to that ... comes after ... the scratch house work ... building shelter for those with agoraphobics ... not that spatial ...
 
A drunk man who smelled like beer, sat down on subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half bottle of gin sticking out of his torn coat pocket.


He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and said, " Say Father,what causes arthritis?”


The priest replied, " My Son, it's caused by loose living, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath! "

The drunk muttered in response, " Well I'll be damned ", and then returned to his paper.

The priest thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. " I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis ? "

The drunk answered, " I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
 
You Just never --- this reminded me of an old joke about a drunk.

The drunk man staggered on to a bus and down the aisle to flop into a seat next to a very upright lady.
She sniffed, put her nose in the air, stared down on him and said, "You're drunk. You're very drunk. In fact you're disgustingly drunk."
The drunk man looked as directly at her as he was able and replied, "Lady, you're ugly. You're very ugly. In fact you're disgustingly ugly. And tomorrow I'll be sober."
 
The Fun Never Ends
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[image source:google image search]
 
One has to be in the midst of the fun to get slapped around ... some say slap happy and ignore where God hid the concerns about intelligence that can lead to something significant ... a mine grabber of great accrued value? El Dore a dude (different tense from Eldorado) with the silver bullet? A place for quick silver ... or just a person searching for a man with a hoerse ...
 
What a grand illustration of loosing it in dilution theory ... which can't be proven without adepts ... sort of a kin or parallel to Fermat's Conception ... the apocalypse as yet to arrive ... when it does ... sporadically in a bang ... or so the theory goes ... as god loves to get honor ... thus the underlying imaginative support system as subtle ... under sects in the tome?
 
Redbaron said:
John Entwhistle, Roger Daltrey, and Peter Townsend are being sought by police in connection with a break-and-enter at an animal shelter, where stray animals were released. Authorities say that they have evidence that The Who let the dogs out.
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Thus free dogs ... or sun dogma ... barite stuff free of all the Shadow?
 
There was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked if he could try. He went up the tower and ran straight into the bell face-first. The bell rang loud and clear. Every Sunday thereafter the boy ran into the bell and it tolled to the delight of all. Then one Sunday the boy failed to show up. The minister asked the congregation if anyone knew the boy’s name so he could track him down. Alas, one after the other the members of the congregation said they didn’t know him, but his face did ring a bell.
 
You just never know said:
There was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked if he could try. He went up the tower and ran straight into the bell face-first. The bell rang loud and clear. Every Sunday thereafter the boy ran into the bell and it tolled to the delight of all. Then one Sunday the boy failed to show up. The minister asked the congregation if anyone knew the boy’s name so he could track him down. Alas, one after the other the members of the congregation said they didn’t know him, but his face did ring a bell.
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That tolls ... about right sir!

All that's left is the come back ... re zone antes?
 
The Talking Centipede

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store
and told the ownerThathe wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,
he finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged bug),
which came in a little white box
to use for his house.

He took the box back home,
found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off
by taking his new pet
to church with him.

So he asked the centipede
"Would you like to go
to church with me today?
We will have a good time."

But there was no answer
from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes
and then asked again,
"How about going
to church with meand receive blessings?"

But again,
there was no answer
from his new friend and pet.
So he waited
a few minutes more,
thinking about the situation.

The guy decided
to invite the centipede
one last time.

This time he
put his face up against
the centipede's house and shouted,

"Hey, in there!
Would you like to go to
church with meand learn about God?"


YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS. . . . . .


This time a little voice
came out of the box,

"I heard you the first time!I'm putting my shoes on!"
 
Po' my's ole that could stand a lot of versing ...with that much sole ...

Is it any wonder the sole is silent with that many bete 's going round in there as Dan's ...

Mo' bete noir?

Perhaps morbede shadows ... om' pers?
 
Two boys went up to the attic to help their mother clean. One of the boys discovered an old manual typewriter and said," What is this?"
The Mom answered that it was an old typewriter.
"Well what does it do?" they asked.
The Mom rolled in a piece of paper and struck the keys leaving a print with black letters on the paper.
"Wow! the boys exclaimed, how does that work? Where do you plug it in?"
"There is no plug, she answered, it doesn't need a plug"
"Then where do you put the batteries?" they asked.
"It doesn't need batteries either" she continued.

"Wow, this is so cool", the brothers exclaimed, "someone should have invented this a long time ago!"
 
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