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Unfortunately, my dogs have caused me quite a few tumbles. Should we meet an unleashed dog, particularly a small one, chaos may ensue as I try to get everyone safely away! Even down my outside front porch steps, if I haven't got them securely in one hand and they're eager to get going, they can pull me over; between the two of them, they're about 50 kgs... I'm beginning to realize that "picking your critter" gets more important with age. I suspect my next dogs will be a little smaller, although I'm not, generally, partial to smaller dogs.
 
It was a great weather day here & I was off work, so mid-afternoon we went downtown to the Toronto Xmas Market in the Distillery District. Explored the many shops in the District and the little pop-up booths at the Market - so much beautiful and interesting stuff around. Then went for dinner at El Cantin - a terrific Mexican restaurant in the District. When we emerged it was dark, and the area was even more magical with all the lights on. Here's a photo - not mine (copied from internet) The tree was immense! Carollers singling close harmony were on stage. (And I was careful walking on the cobblestones! Happy to report no falls or twisted ankles.) Such a lovely day.

ClearSpirit_Market_Nov12.jpg
 
I put on a winter jacket this morning-and was delighted to find $15 in the pocket. I took my student out for a drink at Starbucks. She commented that she often puts some money in her coat pockets as she puts them away for the season.
 
I was upset by a phone call today.

I shouldn’t be. This sister is known for causing issues, but, she phoned to tell me a brother who lives out west and is here for the weekend had specifically asked that I not be present at a family gathering to let him see everyone . I wasn't even aware of the gathering until my dad mentioned it the other day.

I have sought truth by contacting my brother and the host. The brother denies it. The host confirms the message came from my sister. I have said that I would love to see him. The last time that I saw him was my mother's funeral. I have a sense he couldn't care less

So, I am frustrated by people who lie and keep secrets.

My son's lose out as they don't see their cousins. My dad is confused.

I am hurt and disappointed
 
Sorry you are having to deal with this Pinga. Family relationships can be difficult at times. Thankfully we can choose friends who are often closer on many levels than blood relatives.
 
Yeah. I know. I learned from my mom. Everyone is invited and they need to sort it out. I don't enable such behavior in my own home either. You get divorced? Figure it out as you are both invited. Don't like someone, that is too bad but our house is big enough you can avoid them. Be pleasant or leave. Let the kids get to know each other.

Sadly. I guess the inclusion is not returned.

I was told it was due to some argument we had years ago. I have no recollection unless it was from 20+ years ago. Of course, he also says he didn't request that I not be present.
 
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I can't understand the exclusion. I accept it, I've heard of it in other families, my daughter is experiencing it from the x-inlaws
I have a sister who I am very close to, and another who we have to wwalk on eggs around - but we woould never exclude eeither.
Both Seelerman and I had alcoholic brothers. He had a brother who was adverse to warm water and someetimes didn't smell too good. They were always invited to family affaairs.

I'm sorry Pinga that you have to experience this.
 
Pinga - I hear ya! No one can cause more pain, confusion and emotional turmoil than family - original and in-law.. Now I'm going to stop lest I'm tempted to share some of my own negative experiences that won't be fixed by an airing online!
 
I'm glad that my more immediate relatives get along for the most part. I have seen some severed ties, but I myself wasn't really affected. A death in Chemguy's family recently will make things easier on his Dad I think. It's sad but treatment with that side of the family just often isn't worth it.

In my own family I have also seen the need for exclusion, again, I'm pretty removed but I certainly understand the reasoning and was glad to be the one who didn't have to do it.
 
My sympathy Pinga. It's very hard when one sibling speaks for another-who knows what really was intended....Good for you to contact brother directly... From what you have said it sounds like 1 sister is meddling and creating drama-and hurt...
 
Chemgal, for health and safety, we have put clear communiques regarding expectations of behaviour and engaged a safety to remove the person if behaviour gets out of hand. It worked. Again, for a few hours people can generally sucks it up.
 
Pinga said:
Chemgal, for health and safety, we have put clear communiques regarding expectations of behaviour and engaged a safety to remove the person if behaviour gets out of hand. It worked. Again, for a few hours people can generally sucks it up.
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Sometimes it becomes legal as well. Even without the legality of it, there are times I don't think a victim should have to suck up being around an abuser. Or certain adults being around children.
 
Aah, fair. I guess if you are talking extremes, yes. For most, it isn't that extreme.

Even within our situation, which had a pretty abusive pattern, we chose to include. We put the safety controls so that the children, who were pawns, didn't lose out on hanging with their cousins and so they didn't become further victims. It is a question of judgment and looking for best solution always.

Getting a a heavy heavy room for all maybe maybe th sometime in relationships.
 
As abuse goes, not all of the situations are extreme, but factors like the type of abuse, ages of those when it occurred, etc. come into play.
 
Grrr to family drama! It's a rare family that doesn't have some (but not all acknowledge it openly). Sorry it's present at this time pinga - sucks big time. Glad you felt okay to share it here. Gentle hugs offered.
 
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