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chansen said:
The epic recovery continues.

I feel for those with aging parents and the added responsibilities. That said, when it's my turn, I am going to be *such* a burden to Claire. It's like a goal of mine. True to form, she'll be awesome at it.

Zach won't care. All my future long term care eggs are in the Claire basket.
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True to that old nugget -
"A son is a son til he takes him a wife; a daughter's a daughter all of her life"?
Does it apply to you too as a son?
 
I'd be careful about making gender assumptions about caregiver personalities.

My son hitchhiked across Canada and couch-surfed for 5 months to be with his dad in his dying months. My daughter saw him once. My daughter will whip me in a nursing home without a second thought; my son would probably come live with me as caregiver.

In my family, there were three girls, so no gender assumptions. But predictably, I, as oldest, shouldered most of the burden.
 
The older of my two younger sisters lived with my mother for several years and helped her get groceries and go to medical appointments, maybe even helped her a bit with housework. I helped her with her banking and yard work and was the one who took her to emergency departments and stayed till late night or early morning.
 
We are preparing to leave tomorrow morning for Charlevoix, starting with two nights in a campground near Quebec City. The rest of the trip will be in Baie St. Paul and Malbaie with a train ride one day to Malbaie and a train ride back the next day. it will be our second big holiday of the year.
 
Carolla said:
True to that old nugget -
"A son is a son til he takes him a wife; a daughter's a daughter all of her life"?
Does it apply to you too as a son?
Click to expand...
I'm an only child. When my parents get to that stage, we'll proceed according to Inuit tradition (not really). I'm setting them adrift on an ice floe.

In the meantime, I'll continue to cut lawns, fix plumbing, till gardens, renovate rooms, etc. We do a lot for my parents.
 
jimkenney12 said:
We are preparing to leave tomorrow morning for Charlevoix, starting with two nights in a campground near Quebec City. The rest of the trip will be in Baie St. Paul and Malbaie with a train ride one day to Malbaie and a train ride back the next day. it will be our second big holiday of the year.
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LOL. Saw this as wife and I were discussing visiting Charlevoix ourselves (as part of a larger tour of Eastern Canada). Trip report requested. :)
 
My older sister did most the caregiving for our mum. My brother didn't help (had a devastating brain injury), but his wife cut the grass and other heavier tasks. I was too far away to much use for anything but cash when needed. Mum was deaf and didn't use the phone.
As we get older and develop less vibrant health it seems my oldest (F) has no interest except for times when she needs something,. The next (M) has a brain injury but frequently helps with heavier chores, driving etc. and pops in regularly. Next is (F) in another province - but she phones and shows interest. The youngest (M) basically ignores me but chats to his dad.
No idea how this will play out over time. Much will depend on which of us dies, or needs a Nursing Home, first.
 
KayTheCurler said:
My older sister did most the caregiving for our mum. My brother didn't help (had a devastating brain injury), but his wife cut the grass and other heavier tasks. I was too far away to much use for anything but cash when needed. Mum was deaf and didn't use the phone.
As we get older and develop less vibrant health it seems my oldest (F) has no interest except for times when she needs something,. The next (M) has a brain injury but frequently helps with heavier chores, driving etc. and pops in regularly. Next is (F) in another province - but she phones and shows interest. The youngest (M) basically ignores me but chats to his dad.
No idea how this will play out over time. Much will depend on which of us dies, or needs a Nursing Home, first.
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I'm pretty much on my own. My family is scattered in different places -- all far, and aren't in a position to do much anyway.
 
I think it's a perfectly fine reason to have less of a role. For example, I live 1.5 hours from my parents. Not far enough that I can't be expected to help. But if they need a retirement home, I could ship them 6 hours away and then wash my hands of them. Perfect.
 
Good morning! As we do the discussion of aging parents, talk how gender and birth order figure in, and all the other things on our minds, let us gather round the coffee cart, here to host your conversations. All is ready, come on in.

C(_)/ c\_/ c(_) c[_]
 
And so we learn of the farouche in mother and father's mutterings ... a sullen condition that's shy ... some of these words people are shy about ... distant pains? Demands patience ...
 
I was at a funeral for a friends mother yesterday.

In the eulogy, it was said "grandma's cookie jar always had cookies". It stuck with me.

Ordered a cookie jar today. I love to bake, and will often have a rubbermaid container with cookies sitting on the shelf or on the kitchen bar, but, how nice to have a cookie jar.
 
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