Dealing with my daughter's anxieties lately. While Carter was a risk taker and threw himself around with reckless abandon, Claire has always been super careful about everything. I treated both exactly the same growing up. I launched both of them repeatedly. Claire always liked that as much as Carter did, but she never trusted herself, or enjoyed, say, amusement park rides. Or, in this case, skiing.
So now, at the age of 7 when most kids are starting racing or freestyle, she is in racing classes, at her suggestion (because her skis stay on the ground), but she is stuck in a snowplow, won't ski steeps she has skied before, and complains she isn't having fun. When it's time to drop her off, she tries to cling to us, like a toddler.
Once we're out of sight, she apparently has fun, and if no one is looking, she will ski parallel for a few turns. She has dug in her heels and refuses to be coached, however.
That said, she will toboggan and try to crash. She's an odd little thing.
We know she is anxious, and we're reading a book together on the subject, with parallel chapters for parents and kids. She is building "ladders" where she writes about an anxiety she wants to conquer and puts it on a board in order from easiest to hardest, and gets stickers on the ones she overcomes. She got a sticker for petting a dog without flinching on the weekend.
Carter would have forced her hand. No way would she have let him be better than her at skiing. Not this early. And he would have been.
On the way home from a cold morning of skiing on Friday, Claire started to cry. The last couple of years, when she came home cold from skiing, she would put her cold toes under Carter, and it was his job to warm them up. She was sad that she would never do that again. It hits her in little waves, this grief thing.
The rest of us honour him in our own little ways. Yesterday, the aerial training site was opened to all skiers. So, I took advantage. My first jump was easy. My second was a clean 360, something I had done quite a few times in, well, a decade or two ago. I'm lucky to be fairly well preserved and sprightly for a 40-something. This was my third jump, an attempt at a 720 - two full revolutions. Because I had never done one. Mah do it.
Okay, for the record, mah didn't do it. Mah did a revolution and a half. Landed backward. On a bag of air, so I was fine. Commentator who held my phone was a freestyle coach, and thought it was "sweet". It was not. I can only land facing forward.
Claire says she wants to try the bag next time it's open to all. If she can manage to take that ramp at sufficient speed to clear the gap between ramp and bag, that would be a huge confidence boost for her. It really is so easy once you do it. And safe. The hardest part is letting your skis run and trusting yourself. Doing this before the end of the season is a good goal for her.
And here's my first jump:
That speed check at the base of the ramp probably kept me from going off the bag. Yesterday was wet, so my skis were sliding for a bit on the bag, then I almost rolled off. Even if I had, the ground wasn't far away.