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Our Presbytery is doing the work to see if they will become an Affirming Presbytery. I am not part of presbytery, but because it was held at my local church I attended, and was glad I was able to sit in on the discussions they had about this. It was interesting.
 
Had an attack yesterday, but we managed to get most of the Christmas stuff up today. We will be getting a new tree for sure, our angel is almost touching the ceiling and funnily enough, we didn't notice but my sister's rabbits did a pretty good job of stripping the lower branches in a lower section. It was too late to switch that part to the back and isn't all the noticeable with the decorations up.

Now if only the house was clean :)
I'm worn out, took a nap before decorating and still needed lots of breaks while doing the tree. My energy level has been pretty bad for the last few weeks :(
 
I just have my advent calendar up.Middle child has moved and we have no address or phone # for her, and she is not answering emails. She/he is ok and busy with school but with no communication I expect will not be home for Xmas. First time on of 3 not to be here.
and so do I put up 4 stockings or 3? Will I be most sad seeing her empty stocking or if it is not there? I'm now on a parents of estranged adult children fb page and that helps.
and I'm off to the coast next weekend as a fun break.
 
Tabitha, that is tough. I would be tempted to put up the stocking. Simple gifts in it. Light a candle for the absent child as well, on Christmas Day. Just something to acknowledge you are all thinking of them.
 
Oh Tabitha - that is a hard bit of parenting you have to get through. When I have been missing a child on Christmas it has been for a valid reason - like visiting with the in-laws - and they have been home at some point over the holiday.

I think you should do what YOU want about the Christmas stocking for her. If one option FEELS better to you, then go for it. Personally, I think I'd feel a bit better emotionally if I was totally ready for her to show up unannounced. I like Pinga's candle idea too. We light candles for our family members who are only with us in our hearts - the parents of my partner and I, the aunts and uncles and cousins and close friends who are no longer breathing. The array is getting quite impressive (and I find it increasingly sad as we add candles).
 
Tabitha - my heart aches for you. We want our children to grow up, to become independent, to establish their own homes -- but we want them to still be part of the family and I find it hard to understand when one cuts off contact.
Seelerboy is seldom home for Christmas any more - the distance is just too great for the short time he gets off. (Last year was an exception when everything fell in place for him to get ten days off to be able to come home on Christmas day and to stay through our 50th wedding anniversary celebrations.)
We hang our stockings on the livingroom door. We have a few extras that we bought because they were pretty and because we sometimes have guests; we hang them all but usually only Seelerman's and mine get filled. Seelergirl and the Grandchildren hang their stockings at her place now (and at their father's). So Santa stuffs two stockings and the rest just hang there as part of the decorations.
 
My issue with being totally ready is what do I do with the gifts when child doesn't show? It would make me very sad packing them away or sending them off to others. I did not send a birthday gift this year as I had no address.
 
You know, Tabitha, I have no idea how I would handle that. I only have one, too, so being estranged from him would effectively make us childless. I wish I had some sage advice, but all I can offer is a prayer that something will bring you two back together at some point.
 
Maybe just little gifts in the stocking, fun candies, and so on.
Have gift cards for stores, or restaurants that if the child isn't present, you can return or use yourself.
Just a thought.
 
Pinga said:
Maybe just little gifts in the stocking, fun candies, and so on.
Have gift cards for stores, or restaurants that if the child isn't present, you can return or use yourself.
Just a thought.
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Or split with your other kids.
 
crazyheart said:
Tab, is there reason that the school won't offer information? Thinking of you often.
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If the child is over 18 (in fact, over 16 in some provinces) they are entitled to privacy and information about them can only be disclosed, even to their family, with their permission.
 
Hey CH my child is 21. She is financially independent. I'm glad the University was able to tell me what they did. I went through the Dean of students-and they were discrete. It was better than going through her faculty (ie department of studies) where it could be embarrassing for student.
 
Just a note to let you know that CrazyDad was in hospital all week very sick. He has Atrial Fibrilation, Type 2 Diabetes and Parkinsons.
He had a raging bladder infection, and some pneumonia. He got home last night and that is another story. All is well but if I have seemed a little off this week, I apologize. It has been very stressful. Thank goodness for the kids and grandkids.
 
Crazyheart, sorry to hear that. It must be tough on you right now. Hopefully he's doing better since he's been sent home!
 
Oh Crazyheart- This must be very upsetting for you and the younger generations. Stressful is the word you used, which seems very fitting. I always find it hard when a family member is in the hospital - the 'not knowing' and the travelling back and forth (especially the parking!) and the concerns about diagnosis and recovery. Hopefully he will get excellent after care and return to better health quickly. If it seems appropriate - give him a gentle hug from me - and tell your kids to hug YOU!
 
Crazyheart, I didn't know. You've listened to me complain about my Parkinsons and you never mentioned a thing. I'm so sorry. He seemed well went I visited a few years ago - but to the casual observer maybe I seem well. I do hope that this present crisis is soon behind you and that Crazydad and you are getting back to you 'normal'. Thinking of you now - saying a prayer and sending positive thoughts.
 
crazyheart said:
Just a note to let you know that CrazyDad was in hospital all week very sick. He has Atrial Fibrilation, Type 2 Diabetes and Parkinsons.
He had a raging bladder infection, and some pneumonia. He got home last night and that is another story. All is well but if I have seemed a little off this week, I apologize. It has been very stressful. Thank goodness for the kids and grandkids.
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Wow, crazyheart . . . that sounds like a lot of things going on for mr. crazy. With him home you are now into a caregiver roll - even if he can do things and you have help - emotionally you will still be concerned, so make sure you take care of yourself.
 
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