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Long day. Went to the border to file papers. Have to go back again. Left house at 12:30pm, and got home at 6:30pm.
tNow to take a bit of a break, and then jump on the items that they wish clarification on.
Such is life.
 
actually, "such is life" does not honestly reflect my emotions.
I am tired and fed up. I know that emotion will pass, and that I will soon live into "such is life".
I guess that is the resiliency that Carolla speaks of.

Right now, my mood is somewhere between blue and grey, and not the bright cheerful colour.
 
Blue & gray are descriptive colours .... not every day should be filled with bright & cheerful colour ... that would be exhausting!! At least for me.

I'm enjoying being home alone tonight. Had a busy long Presbytery day of committee meeting & then interviewing. I will settle in with my knitting when I finish checking on all my friends here.
 
Pinga, dealing with bureaucracy is tiring, irritating and always feels such a waste of time. Wine will help. Did someone make you a nice dinner? If you've had nothing, virtually, I offer a plate of my newest sourdough exploration - sourdough crackers (they're like cheese nips except WAY better), with a bit of Salt Spring Island goat cheese with tapenade. A glass of Okanagan Valley wine, perhaps a 2015 Syrah from Red Rooster...

I'm going to Presbytery Tuesday (because it's at my church, and pre-empted my Tuesday night group). Mainly to help with dinner, service, etc., but also to sneak in a convo with a contact I made via Pinga on some Luther resources.
 
Bureaucracy is run by protocol ... thought is optional in the distance ... thus afar form of thoughtfulness ... so life goest !
 
I dreamt about you Pinga: I dreamt that you posted a map pinpointing all the places you have been travelling to recently. There were a lot of pinpoints.
 
Pinga said:
actually, "such is life" does not honestly reflect my emotions.
I am tired and fed up. I know that emotion will pass, and that I will soon live into "such is life".
I guess that is the resiliency that Carolla speaks of.

Right now, my mood is somewhere between blue and grey, and not the bright cheerful colour.
Click to expand...

Those days coloured blue and grey can be troublesome to get through. I sometimes think that life is a multi coloured quilt - somewhere on it there are fairly neutral colours and somewhere the uplifting brilliant ones. Hoping you find some brighter colours entering your life soon.
 
Yesterday would have been my ex-husband's 61st birthday. For some reason, this is really screwing me up. Dates on a calendar can sometimes evoke the most unexpected responses in people. I usually consider myself a little beyond this sort of 'emotional crap', which means it slaps me in the face even harder. Life/godde is funny like that.
 
Yeah - she does take us by surprise on occasions like that. Even if we don't know we remember a date, our bodies find a way to remind us. Be gentle with you as you deal with this special date.
 
Tomorrow I am going to an event to hear John Pentland speak - author of "Fishing Tips" book for congregations, and minister at the church of YouJustNeverKnow :-) Looking forward to it!
 
Thank you, my friends. Ya know, I woke up about 1 a.m this morning with what felt like an asthma attack - something fairly familiar to me as a child, but very rare in recent years, unless I've got a bad cold/bronchitis. I didn't connect it to the birthday until now.
 
Carolla said:
Tomorrow I am going to an event to hear John Pentland speak - author of "Fishing Tips" book for congregations, and minister at the church of YouJustNeverKnow :) Looking forward to it!
Click to expand...

I really enjoyed the service I attended at that church! Found him very inspirational, and the church 'felt' really well grounded. I felt comfortable enough to cry during a quiet period, which for me, requires being in a spiritually 'open' place, which I found there.
 
I've been around here a fair bit, but I feel fairly disconnected. Not because of anyone, just fatigue. I feel like I'm not managing things all that well, it's coming up on almost 3 weeks of that. It started with a specialist and dentist appointment all in one day (specialist appointment was nothing major, quick, although not as close of a drive as ideal, not far away either). I had the most demanding and complex amount of work from my job so far to deal with at the same time. Ever since then, I haven't fully recovered. I start doing a bit better and then take on something normal to my life that sets me back a bit. I have had good times within that, my nephew's birthday party and then a day at the mall, most of the time spent at Galaxy land just me and my sister's immediate family. Totally worth it, but things sorta pile in - found out yesterday of an appointment with a new specialist for today - and I already had an appointment scheduled with my GP. Luckily I did have 2 med students to keep my mood up. I'm actually there to teach them, they are not there for me in an official role, although the point of them tagging along to an appointment was for them to experience being a supporter for someone with a chronic illness (as being a patient just isn't possible to cover the same way!) and what a better chance for them to do this than new clinic, new doctor, uncertain outcome.

Throw in some bad news for people I'm not really close to, but just lack the mental energy to not feel those draining on me too. Sister's good friend's baby is in the hospital awaiting genetic testing. Heard about major issues a childhood friend is having dealing with some serious chronic illnesses - highlights the important of a good support system and really hits just how much I rely on Chemguy, his income, benefits through his employment, etc. This acquaintance (it's been more than 10 years since I've seen here and more than 20 where I could have really considered us friends) has really fallen through the cracks, basically is getting no income, no benefits and while friends are helpful I don't think of them as a replacement for supportive family which she lacks.

So now I am struggling about what to do with myself. It's funny just now thinking about what I should (or more likely should not) do this weekend and what's going on this week and I realize I have a bunch of testing to arrange, lots of timed stuff and while timing for some stuff overlaps the requirement for some would affect the other so it's going to take a few days and there's even just a cognitive burden of having to arrange the appointments as I find the labs are never really understanding that no, I can't wait for an appointment for 3 weeks because my specialist expects to have results by the time I see her next. So looks like I need to avoid anything optional.
 
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