I've been around here a fair bit, but I feel fairly disconnected. Not because of anyone, just fatigue. I feel like I'm not managing things all that well, it's coming up on almost 3 weeks of that. It started with a specialist and dentist appointment all in one day (specialist appointment was nothing major, quick, although not as close of a drive as ideal, not far away either). I had the most demanding and complex amount of work from my job so far to deal with at the same time. Ever since then, I haven't fully recovered. I start doing a bit better and then take on something normal to my life that sets me back a bit. I have had good times within that, my nephew's birthday party and then a day at the mall, most of the time spent at Galaxy land just me and my sister's immediate family. Totally worth it, but things sorta pile in - found out yesterday of an appointment with a new specialist for today - and I already had an appointment scheduled with my GP. Luckily I did have 2 med students to keep my mood up. I'm actually there to teach them, they are not there for me in an official role, although the point of them tagging along to an appointment was for them to experience being a supporter for someone with a chronic illness (as being a patient just isn't possible to cover the same way!) and what a better chance for them to do this than new clinic, new doctor, uncertain outcome.
Throw in some bad news for people I'm not really close to, but just lack the mental energy to not feel those draining on me too. Sister's good friend's baby is in the hospital awaiting genetic testing. Heard about major issues a childhood friend is having dealing with some serious chronic illnesses - highlights the important of a good support system and really hits just how much I rely on Chemguy, his income, benefits through his employment, etc. This acquaintance (it's been more than 10 years since I've seen here and more than 20 where I could have really considered us friends) has really fallen through the cracks, basically is getting no income, no benefits and while friends are helpful I don't think of them as a replacement for supportive family which she lacks.
So now I am struggling about what to do with myself. It's funny just now thinking about what I should (or more likely should not) do this weekend and what's going on this week and I realize I have a bunch of testing to arrange, lots of timed stuff and while timing for some stuff overlaps the requirement for some would affect the other so it's going to take a few days and there's even just a cognitive burden of having to arrange the appointments as I find the labs are never really understanding that no, I can't wait for an appointment for 3 weeks because my specialist expects to have results by the time I see her next. So looks like I need to avoid anything optional.