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@BetteTheRed that's a tough spot for you to be in. When my mother was dying of cancer, my father didn't visit. They had been divorced 20+ years by then. He came to the gathering a her house before or after the funeral and that meant a lot to us. It was obvious he was moved by her death and grieving in his way. I think we would have been okay if he'd visited her in the hospital before she died and am sure her partner at the time would have been done too. Sometimes rules change when someone is dying of cancer. I think the bottom line is do what you can live with after he dies and I don't mean be selfish when I say that. It's just that this is a tough time when any decision will have consequences.
 
@BetteTheRed
Yer cat is a nut. Typical cat.
Seems like you're going through a time with lots of choices on your part. Time to parse the possibilities.
When my mom was dying from her cancer, she didn't wait long enough to be placed in palliatative care. She died amongst some of her family in the hospital.

Like the irish proverb says
It is in the shelter of each other where the people live
 
Bette, a few years ago one of our bowlers died of cancer. He was well-liked, and willing to help out with the league, a joker, a lot of laughs. And a heavy drinker. We miss him and still mention him every now and then.
There were three special women at his funeral.
His wife, who was the mother of his children. They had been separated for many years, but never divorced. Up until his bout with cancer she called him to help with house repairs, car problems, etc.
His long-time common-law partner. They shared an apartment for many years, bowled, danced, played cards and drank at the legion. Then her health slowed her down and she couldn't handle his drinking. They separated and eventually he moved out.
His dance friend. I don't know if they ever moved in together, but he met her at the legion weekly to dance together.
When Seelerman and I visited him in the hospital both #2 and #3 were there and apparently getting along, although I heard that #2 was the one who sat with him most of the time.
All three attended the funeral and mourned his passing. This was how he would have wanted it. Any animosity long since put aside, just three people who had been important at different times in his life.

Each person knows their situation best. Do what you think is right for you.
Thinking of you at this difficult time.
 
My advice as to whether or not to visit your ex is to ask him. Go if he wants to see you, stay away if that is what he prefers.
My ex had clearly stated he didn't want me at his funeral. Our middle child said 'But you could go over his dead body". She is like chansen with a wicked sense of humour.
 
OMG - I'm having a bad week with technology! Got a new camera - having some issues figuring it out ... wow says my mate - all the best & latest technology ... so fabulous! Yes, well, if you're a photographer & accustomed to all the settings & STUFF ... I just really want to point & shoot!

Then tonight I thought I would figure out how to load books from my local library onto my kindle paperwhite. Didn't have a bit of success with that either. Feeling like a moron & longing for simplicity!! Or at least somebody who can write decent manuals!!
 
Carolla said:
OMG - I'm having a bad week with technology! Got a new camera - having some issues figuring it out ... wow says my mate - all the best & latest technology ... so fabulous! Yes, well, if you're a photographer & accustomed to all the settings & STUFF ... I just really want to point & shoot!

Then tonight I thought I would figure out how to load books from my local library onto my kindle paperwhite. Didn't have a bit of success with that either. Feeling like a moron & longing for simplicity!! Or at least somebody who can write decent manuals!!
Click to expand...
Good technical writers are worth their weight in gold pressed latinum
 
Fourth day of Seelercat's visit. He is one big alpha cat! Wallks around as though he owned the place. Rubs up against your legs and purrs when he is in the mood (or hungry); occasionally jumps on Seelerman's lap and allows Seelerman to pet him for a few minutes before deciding he'dd rather be standoffish again. Claims Seelerman's favourite chair. And I have a few marks on my right hand from the first two days before he taught me to keep my distance unless he gives permission. Since then we've learned to co-exist.
Strangely, this cat who is so much his own person (catson?) both here and at home, will allow Grandson to lug him around and even get face-to-face with him. Grandson is 13 now and big and strong enough to hold him gently - five years ago it was more drag the heavy, flopppy cat around, but still the cat treated him gently. Granddaughter, who was a teen when he joined the family is treated the same as adults - keep your distance unless invited up close.
He'll be going home in a few days. We will miss him.
 
19990025_10155678788083694_5561604216561896461_n.jpg
Great Grand V
 
So lovely at that age, @crazyheart . Our HR generalist brought her 5 year-old into work today (broken arm so isn't going to daycare) and she's a real treat to talk to. I know the father, too. He's a manager at the Honda dealer I patronize.
 
I had a good day with my nephew yesterday. He's a bit sick, not really bad but enough were he doesn't want to play like usual, he's happier to sit quietly. He always wants attention when sick, so was super happy to have me over. I think his feelings are a bit hurt with my sister not dropping everything to deal with his needs as he was quite happy to take me over my sister.
 
Just got back from a rainy, but lovely, outdoor supper at our community's summer festival. The highlight for me (besides those cute little donuts that cost $5.00 for a bag) was the giant rubber duck. I know there's been a lot of controversy about waste of money and all that...but I saw a lot of smiles as we took pictures of it with various family members standing in front of it, appearing dwarfed in comparison.
 
Nancy said:
Just got back from a rainy, but lovely, outdoor supper at our community's summer festival. The highlight for me (besides those cute little donuts that cost $5.00 for a bag) was the giant rubber duck. I know there's been a lot of controversy about waste of money and all that...but I saw a lot of smiles as we took pictures of it with various family members standing in front of it, appearing dwarfed in comparison.
Click to expand...
That duck is quite amazing isn't it?? My mate took some photos when it was moored in Toronto recently. I would have liked to see it being towed along up the great lakes to its next destinations. Glad you got to see it too.
 
I'd love to see that duck.

Beautiful morning here - cool. I slept well under a quilt last night and was a bit late (6:10) getting up. I walked into the kitchen and started discussing breakfast with Seelercat who was starving from waiting. Only after a bit did I remember to say 'Goodmorning' to Seelerman who was making coffee while the cat and I talked.
 
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