(unless you have roommates) you don't have to worry that one another's habits are encroaching on someone else's comfort.
Advantage/Disadvantages of being single or coupled
- Thread starter Tabitha
- Start date
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There isn't one. Single people shouldn't be having sex. They should be celibate.
(thinking of my ex) you can pass gas indescreetly all you want without having someone beside you ready to keel over. (My spouse and I used to argue about this. I was raised to go to another room or at very least say "excuse me" if it was too late - but not just let it rip).
You only have to deal with the consequences of your own mistakes.
You don't have to feel stuck in a previously unhappy relationship.
You don't have in-laws (could be an advantage or something to grieve)
You might lose friends when becoming single (his/ hers/ both of yours - it can be a shock)
revjohn
Well-Known Member
Advantages and/or disadvantages are relative at best and probably speak to our personal preferences.
I am an introvert. I can cope with solitude. I have no real need to seek others out and engage them in conversation. I am happy simply being with. Give me a dog and let me do as I wish and I would probably be very content.
That said, my family has become a part of me and I will eventually miss them. Not because they are fabulous conversationalists but because I prefer to simply be with them.
Do my family members and their various quirks drive me nuts?
Oh yes! Most definitely.
Do my quirks drive them nuts?
Apparently. I don't see how it could possibly but that is one of their quirks that drives me nuts.
Is it nice to sleep in a king size bed without dogs feeling they need to drape themselves across my legs or sleep with their but on the pillow beside me?
YES!!! It is!
Do I prefer it to sharing the bed with my wife even if the dogs restrict bloodflow and movement in my lower extremities?
No I don't.
And it isn't about the sex, although I am not complaining that it happens.
Again it is about being with. Waking up at 4:30am in the dark with a storm shaking the house and screaming at the windows and being able to shut that all out just to hear the gentle breathing of my life partner is like a breath of fresh air.
I am an introvert. I can cope with solitude. I have no real need to seek others out and engage them in conversation. I am happy simply being with. Give me a dog and let me do as I wish and I would probably be very content.
That said, my family has become a part of me and I will eventually miss them. Not because they are fabulous conversationalists but because I prefer to simply be with them.
Do my family members and their various quirks drive me nuts?
Oh yes! Most definitely.
Do my quirks drive them nuts?
Apparently. I don't see how it could possibly but that is one of their quirks that drives me nuts.
Is it nice to sleep in a king size bed without dogs feeling they need to drape themselves across my legs or sleep with their but on the pillow beside me?
YES!!! It is!
Do I prefer it to sharing the bed with my wife even if the dogs restrict bloodflow and movement in my lower extremities?
No I don't.
And it isn't about the sex, although I am not complaining that it happens.
Again it is about being with. Waking up at 4:30am in the dark with a storm shaking the house and screaming at the windows and being able to shut that all out just to hear the gentle breathing of my life partner is like a breath of fresh air.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Single:
come and go as you please - don't have to consider anyone else's plans if you decide to go to a movie or a lecture
control the TV remote
eat what you please, when you please - simpler meal planning - sticking to a diet (not having to take his meals into consideration when you are making an omlet for lunch)
less laundry / less housework (read the newspaper and put it in the recycling rather than have it lie around until he is through with it)
reading in bed (or watching TV)
having the whole bed to yourself
control the thermostat
usually less income but more control over how it is spent
more often invited out by singles - don't have to wonder if this invitation includes my spouse
Married:
having somebody around who cares for you
someone to talk things over with / and perhaps to blame when things go wrong
someone to take care of you when your sick
someone more knowledgeable about cars and plumbing and who appreciates your skill in reading, writing and balancing household accounts
more income but less control of how it is used
cheaper travel when a couple shares a hotel room or B&B rather than two singles paying for separate accommodation
more often invited out by couples - most card games are for partners
Many people expect their spouse to go to bed with lights out when they do. This, along with reading (or TV) in bed can be solved as you get older and discover that you both get more rest when one of you sleeps in the spare room. (This doesn't mean that you don't visit for a cuddle or an occasional night together.)
come and go as you please - don't have to consider anyone else's plans if you decide to go to a movie or a lecture
control the TV remote
eat what you please, when you please - simpler meal planning - sticking to a diet (not having to take his meals into consideration when you are making an omlet for lunch)
less laundry / less housework (read the newspaper and put it in the recycling rather than have it lie around until he is through with it)
reading in bed (or watching TV)
having the whole bed to yourself
control the thermostat
usually less income but more control over how it is spent
more often invited out by singles - don't have to wonder if this invitation includes my spouse
Married:
having somebody around who cares for you
someone to talk things over with / and perhaps to blame when things go wrong
someone to take care of you when your sick
someone more knowledgeable about cars and plumbing and who appreciates your skill in reading, writing and balancing household accounts
more income but less control of how it is used
cheaper travel when a couple shares a hotel room or B&B rather than two singles paying for separate accommodation
more often invited out by couples - most card games are for partners
Many people expect their spouse to go to bed with lights out when they do. This, along with reading (or TV) in bed can be solved as you get older and discover that you both get more rest when one of you sleeps in the spare room. (This doesn't mean that you don't visit for a cuddle or an occasional night together.)
You don't know if you'll ever meet someone again who will accept your idiosyncrasies and really bad hair days - and self esteem suffers. Meeting new people is scary.
On the other hand, you have more freedom to branch out and do new things and meet new people. You can break old routines and habits.
If your spouse liked your hair long you can shave your head and celebrate it if you want to.
Oh, and you can shave your legs less often and not scratch anybody.
Oh, and you can shave your legs less often and not scratch anybody.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
No, freedom from being pestered for sex unless you're explicitly in the mood for it, largely.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
The people attached to my old fella are, largely, fairly awful, and they're no fonder of me. Wish they lived in China, not downtown B____...
RitaTG
Well-Known Member
If I may share my thoughts.....
I was happily married to the most incredible, wonderful, beautiful woman in the world.
We had to separate after 38 years 5 months and 6 days.......
Painful ..... I lost my soulmate and my world and was left drifting as was she.
I loved her and I loved being married .... I was part of something wonderous and far bigger and more glorious than I.
Were there constraints, annoyances and challenges? .... did we get on each other nerves? ...oh my yes!
But the beauty of the awesome amazing completeness made such minor things seem so trivial.
I felt it all gradually slip away until we were enduring rather than living....
There was nothing either of us could do.....
I need to be me became as vital as drawing breath just to survive.....
The man she married faded away and a woman emerged....
She needed and deserved a man .... a real man...
All those years of denial and fighting who and what I was were in vain.
Actually holding out for as long as I did caused more harm than good.
My advice ..... never deny or fight who and what you truly are in the core of your very being....
Now I am single.....
Such a strange and surreal experience after so very many years of marital companionship.
I don't like coming home to an empty place .... a place that will never hold a loved one...
Alone ..... for the first time in my life .... alone...
I get to do more of the things I find so important.
There is such needed relief in never having to put on male clothes and act anymore ...
Just being the authentic me all the time.
The big important advantage is that my suicidal ideations have receded and I now actually feel alive.
For the first time in so very very long I like me and I feel worthwhile.
Does being single have an advantage for me? .... yes .... life itself....
The price is the anguish of separation....
This is a bit of where I am at...
Perhaps this will help someone.
Thank you for letting me share
Hugs
Rita
I was happily married to the most incredible, wonderful, beautiful woman in the world.
We had to separate after 38 years 5 months and 6 days.......
Painful ..... I lost my soulmate and my world and was left drifting as was she.
I loved her and I loved being married .... I was part of something wonderous and far bigger and more glorious than I.
Were there constraints, annoyances and challenges? .... did we get on each other nerves? ...oh my yes!
But the beauty of the awesome amazing completeness made such minor things seem so trivial.
I felt it all gradually slip away until we were enduring rather than living....
There was nothing either of us could do.....
I need to be me became as vital as drawing breath just to survive.....
The man she married faded away and a woman emerged....
She needed and deserved a man .... a real man...
All those years of denial and fighting who and what I was were in vain.
Actually holding out for as long as I did caused more harm than good.
My advice ..... never deny or fight who and what you truly are in the core of your very being....
Now I am single.....
Such a strange and surreal experience after so very many years of marital companionship.
I don't like coming home to an empty place .... a place that will never hold a loved one...
Alone ..... for the first time in my life .... alone...
I get to do more of the things I find so important.
There is such needed relief in never having to put on male clothes and act anymore ...
Just being the authentic me all the time.
The big important advantage is that my suicidal ideations have receded and I now actually feel alive.
For the first time in so very very long I like me and I feel worthwhile.
Does being single have an advantage for me? .... yes .... life itself....
The price is the anguish of separation....
This is a bit of where I am at...
Perhaps this will help someone.
Thank you for letting me share
Hugs
Rita
