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ChemGal
One with keen eye
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In the US yes, in Canada it's less common. The last one I went to a small minority brought a gift. I brought a bottle of wine from the year they started dating. Most brought food or wine.
Delightful Life
M&M, Cascadian Lovers
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You could try contacting the people who are getting engaged and pop the question to them? That would seem to make the most sense to me, seeing as its their culture you're getting involved in?
Delightful Life
M&M, Cascadian Lovers
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well, you were asking aboot gifts to an engagement party, so why not, instead on relying on us, who aren't the nephew, you ask the nephew what he would like (including if he wants/expects an engagement gift)?
avoids confusion and such :3
KayTheCurler
Well-Known Member
I would probably not show up and just send a card.
You sound like you have the same sort of mind set as me, Seeler. In my childhood (and income level) a wedding gift for a niece might be some tea towels. I'm sure that would be considered stingy nowadays, even if the niece and the rest of the family know you have very limited income.. If you are expected to buy something 'meaningful' for every pre-wedding event you would have to stop eating! Engagement gift, wedding shower gift, wedding gift, housewarming gift - maybe even a baby shower gift..............it gets to be too much.
I have heard of couples regifting unwanted wedding gifts, one actually sold them at a Garage Sale a few months later. An interesting thing I noted is that many people only buy a gift if they are invited to the wedding. (They also ignore the loss of a family member if they don't go to the funeral).
Personally we have never had a shower for any life event - not for our engagement, nor our wedding, nor on purchasing a house, or for any of our babies. I still have, and use most of our wedding gifts (four pieces of Pyrex or Corning Ware, a set of stainless steel salt and peppers, a good Atlas and a set of wall plaques).
You sound like you have the same sort of mind set as me, Seeler. In my childhood (and income level) a wedding gift for a niece might be some tea towels. I'm sure that would be considered stingy nowadays, even if the niece and the rest of the family know you have very limited income.. If you are expected to buy something 'meaningful' for every pre-wedding event you would have to stop eating! Engagement gift, wedding shower gift, wedding gift, housewarming gift - maybe even a baby shower gift..............it gets to be too much.
I have heard of couples regifting unwanted wedding gifts, one actually sold them at a Garage Sale a few months later. An interesting thing I noted is that many people only buy a gift if they are invited to the wedding. (They also ignore the loss of a family member if they don't go to the funeral).
Personally we have never had a shower for any life event - not for our engagement, nor our wedding, nor on purchasing a house, or for any of our babies. I still have, and use most of our wedding gifts (four pieces of Pyrex or Corning Ware, a set of stainless steel salt and peppers, a good Atlas and a set of wall plaques).
ChemGal
One with keen eye
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Why? An engagement party is about celebrating with those closest to you about getting engaged. Out of all the wedding celebrations, this is one of the ones where a gift is least likely to be brought.
We didn't have an engagement party, but it was because we didn't have any family around the time we got engaged. If we had, it would have been great for the two sides to meet ahead of time (although our parents already had) and I would have been sad if a relative didn't come just because they didn't want to/couldn't bring a gift. I think even if the US, where people do register ahead for an engagement party, most couples would feel the same.
It isn't an engagement shower, it's an engagement party.
Are things different out east? Here, few are invited to more than one shower. Those who do come to more than one aren't expected to give a gift at both.
crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
I am sure if you looked at the atlas a few years down thee line the countries would change shape and name.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
For my daughter's first marriage I remember attending two showers - one was mainly my generation - church people and neighbours who had known her since she was a child. It was hosted by two friends of mine from the church. The other was hosted by her brides-maids and was mainly a younger group, but both sets of parents attended. I seem to remember a third by the people she worked with that I didn't attend. But I think some guests went to two, or maybe three showers. In this case I think that they usually give a main gift at one shower and token gifts (maybe teatowels) at any subsequent ones.
One rule that we try to follow - the shower is not given by any members of the immediate family. It is always hosted by friends.
One rule that we try to follow - the shower is not given by any members of the immediate family. It is always hosted by friends.
I might get them a gesture like flowers or a bottle of wine as I likely would going to any dinner party so as not to show up empty handed. Nothing expensive. Maybe even a congratulations card with a movie gift card so they can go on a 'date'. But even then you're going over $20 and it doesn't need to cost a lot. I'm sure they'd appreciate you just being there to celebrate with them.
Carolla
wondering & wandering
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Never been to an engagement party - so I'm of no help here - some great suggestions though. That's one thing I really love about this place.
Welcome @One Voice ! C'mon in! And thanks so much for the flowers and berries - very thoughtful of you. As you stick around, you'll get to know the personalities here ... for better and for worse
@Seeler - always hard to imagine what lies ahead isn't it? While your family has faced so many challenges, the other side of that coin is their opportunities to learn of their own resourcefulness and develop their resiliency - which is such an important thing for a life well lived.
@Pinga - you've been reading alot lately - love doing that in summer! Can you share some recommended titles? My daughter is here and she is a voracious reader - always suggesting things my husband & I would enjoy - and she's usually right! Her second job at the moment is in a small independent bookstore - which naturally she LOVES!
I started a new prayer shawl this week - trying out a zig zag crochet pattern - not sure it will work, or if I've bought enough yarn ... but we'll see! The colours are very pretty though - cherry, lime, and a varigated with these plus white & a few lighter shades of each. I haven't crocheted for years, and I used fewer stitches than the pattern, so I've been challenged a bit to figure out the pattern - but I think I'm onto it now. Will have to share a photo later
It's lovely having our daughter home from Whistler for a visit. She's busy - in & out with friends, but with time for us too. I especially enjoying having her company at church this morning, and listening to her wonderful singing voice - I've missed that, and I think she's missed the singing too. We're off to neighbours for a BBQ tonight which will be fun.
Enjoy the rest of the long weekend all!
Welcome @One Voice ! C'mon in! And thanks so much for the flowers and berries - very thoughtful of you. As you stick around, you'll get to know the personalities here ... for better and for worse
@Seeler - always hard to imagine what lies ahead isn't it? While your family has faced so many challenges, the other side of that coin is their opportunities to learn of their own resourcefulness and develop their resiliency - which is such an important thing for a life well lived.
@Pinga - you've been reading alot lately - love doing that in summer! Can you share some recommended titles? My daughter is here and she is a voracious reader - always suggesting things my husband & I would enjoy - and she's usually right! Her second job at the moment is in a small independent bookstore - which naturally she LOVES!
I started a new prayer shawl this week - trying out a zig zag crochet pattern - not sure it will work, or if I've bought enough yarn ... but we'll see! The colours are very pretty though - cherry, lime, and a varigated with these plus white & a few lighter shades of each. I haven't crocheted for years, and I used fewer stitches than the pattern, so I've been challenged a bit to figure out the pattern - but I think I'm onto it now. Will have to share a photo later
It's lovely having our daughter home from Whistler for a visit. She's busy - in & out with friends, but with time for us too. I especially enjoying having her company at church this morning, and listening to her wonderful singing voice - I've missed that, and I think she's missed the singing too. We're off to neighbours for a BBQ tonight which will be fun.
Enjoy the rest of the long weekend all!
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Carolla - you always seem to know the right things to say. You are so good at seeing the big picture. I visited Seelergirl and bf yesterday. They will hang together and support each other and get through this. I think the biggest worry is health insurance - she can't afford to lose it.
In the meantime, a reading list: Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett. I just finished reading it fifteen minutes ago. A book club selection for the fall - and a friend had her copy available for loan. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have read it. The title meant nothing to me. And the first few pages didn't seem to make sense. But gradually I got to know the characters and watched the plot develop - a group of terrorists have taken a group of people of many different nationalities hostage and are negotiating through a red cross worker over the terms for their release. But it is more about personalities than diplomatics or suspense. Very good.
In the meantime, a reading list: Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett. I just finished reading it fifteen minutes ago. A book club selection for the fall - and a friend had her copy available for loan. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have read it. The title meant nothing to me. And the first few pages didn't seem to make sense. But gradually I got to know the characters and watched the plot develop - a group of terrorists have taken a group of people of many different nationalities hostage and are negotiating through a red cross worker over the terms for their release. But it is more about personalities than diplomatics or suspense. Very good.
Beloved
Well-Known Member
Thanks for the recommendation, seeler - will have to check into that one.
Glad you are enjoying your visit with your daughter, Carolla.
Had visiting family (cousins & spouses) and sis out to the lake for supper tonight. Wonderful visit! I cooked my turkey at midnight . . . a different experience for me. Got it ready and put it in on a lowe heat and went to bed. Awoke at 4 to check things out. I didn't think I was going to fall back to sleep but I did, and slept til 8 - that is a very late sleep for me as I am usually up between 6 and 7. Turkey was cooked, hubby cut it up, salads were made, potato casserole just had to be cooked. This allowed for more visiting instead of kitchen time for me. Glad to catch up on their lives.
Tomorrow marks the coming and going of the long weekend . . . time is just going by too quickly.
Movie night was a great suggestion, will have to remember that one.
Glad you are enjoying your visit with your daughter, Carolla.
Had visiting family (cousins & spouses) and sis out to the lake for supper tonight. Wonderful visit! I cooked my turkey at midnight . . . a different experience for me. Got it ready and put it in on a lowe heat and went to bed. Awoke at 4 to check things out. I didn't think I was going to fall back to sleep but I did, and slept til 8 - that is a very late sleep for me as I am usually up between 6 and 7. Turkey was cooked, hubby cut it up, salads were made, potato casserole just had to be cooked. This allowed for more visiting instead of kitchen time for me. Glad to catch up on their lives.
Tomorrow marks the coming and going of the long weekend . . . time is just going by too quickly.
Movie night was a great suggestion, will have to remember that one.
ChemGal
One with keen eye
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- She/Her/Her
s**t you guys. I just found out about a 3rd HAE death. These have all been women, near my age (I think all were actually younger) who passed away in the last two weeks due to HAE attacks. These are only the ones we here about on HAE info/support FB groups.