Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Huntin".

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
 
This is too funny - but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,
'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'Sermon complete, he sat down...

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'
Smile - life is too short not to!!
If this brightened your day
Don't let it stop here
Pass it on with a smile
Keep spreading the Cheer.
See you at the river!
 
Creation needed some humour it is a boring job that far out in the infinite ... an Ogre situation without bewitching company with claws for attachment? Clause ... as a rider!

The dog's Dais 'd with the cat!
 
RevLindsayGKing1930 said:
KayTheCurler
You mentioned Holy Water? KTC, you will be happy to hear: After a lot of sweet-talk, I finally persuaded, Father Joe, a priest, who happens to be an old friend of mine tell me about HOLY WATER:

"Father Joe, tell me: Is there an art to the making of Holy Water? Do you have to go through a special ceremony?"

"Not at all!" he said. "All I do is take a gallon or more of ordinary water, put it on the stove in a stainless-steel container; make the sign of the cross and boil hell out of it for ten minutes or so. :LOL:
===============
Click to expand...

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Or at least looking FRESH.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing. Then you experience the scent of freshly mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
-------------------------------------
HOWEVER, UGH, BLAAH, what a stink!--IT IS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO BUY TOILET PAPER

AND, FOR SURE! I don't buy my toilet paper there, anymore! :ROFLMAO:
 
As chit ie recycle of old hyperbole in a life all bent out of proper shape?

The analogue "I" is "U" as hoer Shue? Some hacking can be expected as clearing of the tubes afore another weird attack ... there'd be at haught ...
 
Very Sit trusty ... or Isolde with the orange ass ... conflicting in the greens ...

Why monk-Y's pick "M" like clockwork ... variety keeps "M" from knowing ... until you're out of time ... timeless mire a clay? It too goes round ...
 
THE BACK PEW--

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen."
 
Philosophy of Religions--all religions, includ - Wed Jun 06 2007 10:25 AM
I repeat: It is my experience that children, before they reach the age where they can think rationally, and people with child-like minds tend to think objectively, that is, literally.

Keep in mind: I have all the respect in the world for children and for people with humble and childlike-minds. Children and people who think this way will ask such questions like:

Who made God? Or, how big is God?
Where is he?
Can he see and hear what I am doing right now?
Does he know everything that I have ever done and ever will do?

EXAMPLES OF THE CHILD-LIKE MIND

Quote:
A child was over heard saying his prayers:

"Dear God, please take care of my daddy, mommy, sister, brother, my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything ever happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess.
=========================================================
A six-year-old boy told his minister: "My mother always say
a prayer of thanks about me every night."

"Very interesting" said the minister, "What does she say?".

The boy replied, "She always thanks God that I am in bed."
==========================================================
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

"Fine", said the pleased mother.
"If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask
Him to help me not to misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."
===========================================================

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!"
===========================================================
A ten-year old was asked by a Sunday School teacher:

Who decides who marries who?
The child responded: "No person really decides, before they grow up, who they're going to marry. God decides it all, way before you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
============
I don't expect people to read it all, just browse as you see fit!

THIS EASY-TO-READ VERSION NOW HAS NEARLY TEN MILLION HITS, LESS 630
http://www.scienceagogo.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=printthread&Board=2&main=1617&type=thread
 
She always give thanks that the wee one's in bed?

Is that ABBA'd rheum roués ... keep the dore cloes 'd while the bewitching essence is exchanged ... mingled thoughts?

Happens during godlike chaos ... without interpretable words ... like; omega' ... perhaps the end of that ...
 
I was tending bar on a Friday when a husband and wife sat down..Sir, I'll have a glass of beer and my bride will have a scotch on the rocks...I serve them, start to walk away and the wife speaks up. ..Sir I watched you make my drink..You put your hands in the ice..I dont appreciate that..Maam I wash my hands 10-15 times per shift They are clean..I dont want the drink...I notice by your work station you have a set of tongs..Take this back, re make it and use the tongs for the ...ice...No problem..I give her the new drink, she takes a big sip and says..." This is fine, but not to be smart..you have a piece of string hanging from your zipper...Thats my point lady..When I use the facility I use the string to pull down my zipper..Ok smarty..now tell me how you put your you know what back in your pants when your done?..Thats why I have the tongs......smile emoticon
 
Alcohol over 5% kills all micro organics ... thus spiritualism to occlude reality in the wee realm!

Death of the lesser powers? Can project into neurological loss ... mnemonic dissociation for those not wishing to ponder cereous things out there? Mnemonics thus prevents thought unless hermeneutics win as followers coming up first ... popups?
 
10534154_861544977212466_3246975974519857619_n.jpg

[image source: google image search]
 
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