Someone suggested a joke thread............................

[ninj]

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up. It could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole of water."
I know he means well.

 

[Redbaron]

 

[Redbaron]

 

[ninj]

I sent my hearing aids in for repair two weeks ago.
I haven't heard anything since.

 

[Luce NDs]

Is anything being learned in this world about how humans wasted it ... or is still nothing doing?

Gramps said nothing was like love ... when all was lost due t lack of grip ... seriously!

Cosmological humour is only funny from way out there ...

 

[ninj]

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from an 18th floor nightclub was not a bouncer.

 

[ninj]

Me: Doc, I can't seem to stop singing " The Green Green Grass of Home"
Doc: Sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome
Me: Is that common?
Doc: It's Not Unusual

 

[Redbaron]

My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list.

Now I can’t read it at all.

 

[Delightful Life]

From 9gag.com

 

[Redbaron]

 

[Luce NDs]

Thus vivid impressions ...

 

[Redbaron]

I lost my girlfriend's audiobook.

Now I'll never hear the end of it.

.

 

[Mendalla]

I lost my girlfriend's audiobook.

Now I'll never hear the end of it.

.

So do you ever drop Dad jokes in the pulpit? Might be a good way to see if people are listening.

Obligatory bad joke:

Captain Kirk spots Mr. Spock tiptoeing towards the door of the bridge's ladies room.

"Spock," he says, "what are you doing?"

The Vulcan explains, "Captain, I am fulfilling our mission. I am 'going where no man has gone before'."

(Thanks to either Cracked or Mad for that one. Forget which one I saw it in.)

 

[Luce NDs]

Cracked or imperfect is said to be human and un god-like! Really I avoid people that feel they are perfect ...

In imperfection the door is open for accumulating new concepts ...

 

[Redbaron]

I went to a dog show the other day. A Yorkie took Best in Show, a Jack Russell took second, and a Scotty took third.
I’m starting to think the judges had some sort of All-Terrier motive.

 

[ninj]

I hired a handyman and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, and 5 where done.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.

 

[Luce NDs]

Someone said that life was a serious affair ... did you catch that satyr jousting against the winds?

 

[Redbaron]

I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.

 

[Luce NDs]

I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.

Obtuse or occult and shady?

 

[paradox3]

Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened up? It's called Karma.

There's no menu. You get what you deserve.