Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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Mendalla

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My wife said she wanted some peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.


So I took the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
Sadly, I am the one guilty of setting off smoke detectors here. Need to close the windows above the deck when bbq'ing.:whistle:
 

Mendalla

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Yes, it's IT humour. We geeks get to be funny sometimes, too, you know.



And the day I do this is the day I retire.

I know you're not supposed to have to explain jokes, but since not everyone here lives in my world. "Deleting a table in production" means deleting part of the database in your live system, bring down said live system. If I did that here, you would know pretty damn quick. Which is largely why I try to stay "hands off" with the actual database and have a dev system for testing stuff.
 

ninj

I just am
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I think a few will get it. I'm not one, but a few will. I know that guy though! I see him everywhere.
 

Mendalla

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Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one but the lightbulb has to want to change.

Q: How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer being in the dark.
 

Redbaron

The Legend Continues
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A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" Then the rancher leaves for town.
Later, the artificial insemination man knocks on the front door. "I came to inseminate the cow," he says.
Amy takes him down to the barn, walks along the row of cows and, when Amy sees the nail, she says, "This is the one, right here."
Assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, the man asks, "Tell me, young lady, 'cause I'm dying to know, how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
"That’s simple by the nail that's over its stall," she explains with confidence.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And WHAT, pray tell, is the nail for?"
As she turns to walk away, she says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
(Once in a while, it's nice to see a blonde win)
 

Luce NDs

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A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" Then the rancher leaves for town.
Later, the artificial insemination man knocks on the front door. "I came to inseminate the cow," he says.
Amy takes him down to the barn, walks along the row of cows and, when Amy sees the nail, she says, "This is the one, right here."
Assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, the man asks, "Tell me, young lady, 'cause I'm dying to know, how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
"That’s simple by the nail that's over its stall," she explains with confidence.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And WHAT, pray tell, is the nail for?"
As she turns to walk away, she says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
(Once in a while, it's nice to see a blonde win)


Thus the B*ule S*ystematics go on ... and the mob says YS!
 

ninj

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Every morning I announce to my family I'm going jogging, and then I don't go.
It's a running joke.
 
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