I just am
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I accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the Internet.
I work in a store. I know how screwed up things get. On our back wall is the "meat department". There is a Halal section sign, that is supposed to contain all of our halal chicken, hot dogs, etc. For some sort of fated reason, the meat that drifts into this section is inevitably pork.