Who is this a picture of?
Room For All
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Who is this a picture of?
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
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- She/Her/Her
Carolla
wondering & wandering
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Okay, now I get it... the photo is of @crazyheart herself. I like the specs.
Pinga
Room for All
I am sitting on the GO train headed home after a relatively long day in Toronto.
There are some exciting business opportunities that i am considering because the people that i will team with are, fun, and bright. Great entrepeneurs.
Here though is what i write about. They are gentleman. From holding doors, to walking me to my car. Now, i am old enough to be their Mom.
It is nice to see the deference and respect paid amongst themselves along with the joking.
I am a feminist and I struggle with how lovely it is to be "treated like a lady" . Note; language , work, joking is all done as part of the team so yes we can laugh together and tell jokes
There are some exciting business opportunities that i am considering because the people that i will team with are, fun, and bright. Great entrepeneurs.
Here though is what i write about. They are gentleman. From holding doors, to walking me to my car. Now, i am old enough to be their Mom.
It is nice to see the deference and respect paid amongst themselves along with the joking.
I am a feminist and I struggle with how lovely it is to be "treated like a lady" . Note; language , work, joking is all done as part of the team so yes we can laugh together and tell jokes
revjohn
Well-Known Member
I will never forget the day on the TTC some 33 years ago.
My dad left home when I was 5 and never amounted to anything resembling a positive role model. I did well simply by doing what he would not do at all.
That left most of my training in how to be "a man" to an older generation and to women.
I was trained to hold doors open and offer my seat. Not because women were too weak to open doors or stand but because it was a courtesy. I was also trained to do it for my elders.
Now I will hold the door open for anyone regardless of gender or age because it is a courtesy. It is me doing a nice thing for someone and who knows if it is the only nice thing that is done for them on that day. It gives me an opportunity to engage in very brief human, social, interaction and because of my vocation I might see where some other skills I have acquired can be used for the benefit of another.
but not that day.
That day everything went nightmare.
My act of courtesy was interpretted as a most egregious offence and I got an earful of anger and a facefull of spit for several blocks. When it was finally time for me to get off I was relieved to think that would be the end of it.
Not a chance.
I was followed off of the bus and along the sidewalk until I entered the college campus. Every step I took there was screaming anger in my ear.
For the rest of the year I rejected all my training and thought noway will I hold a door or offer a seat. No way am I going to sit through that ever again.
Don't know when I got over it. Just noticed that I fell back into the fundamentals of courtesy that so many had laboured to instill.
Don't know if she ever got over whatever it was I did.
Probably wouldn't recognize her if I ever saw her again. Probably never going to be able to forget that screaming.
Anyway, I'm glad society has decided courtesy still has a place.
My dad left home when I was 5 and never amounted to anything resembling a positive role model. I did well simply by doing what he would not do at all.
That left most of my training in how to be "a man" to an older generation and to women.
I was trained to hold doors open and offer my seat. Not because women were too weak to open doors or stand but because it was a courtesy. I was also trained to do it for my elders.
Now I will hold the door open for anyone regardless of gender or age because it is a courtesy. It is me doing a nice thing for someone and who knows if it is the only nice thing that is done for them on that day. It gives me an opportunity to engage in very brief human, social, interaction and because of my vocation I might see where some other skills I have acquired can be used for the benefit of another.
but not that day.
That day everything went nightmare.
My act of courtesy was interpretted as a most egregious offence and I got an earful of anger and a facefull of spit for several blocks. When it was finally time for me to get off I was relieved to think that would be the end of it.
Not a chance.
I was followed off of the bus and along the sidewalk until I entered the college campus. Every step I took there was screaming anger in my ear.
For the rest of the year I rejected all my training and thought noway will I hold a door or offer a seat. No way am I going to sit through that ever again.
Don't know when I got over it. Just noticed that I fell back into the fundamentals of courtesy that so many had laboured to instill.
Don't know if she ever got over whatever it was I did.
Probably wouldn't recognize her if I ever saw her again. Probably never going to be able to forget that screaming.
Anyway, I'm glad society has decided courtesy still has a place.
KayTheCurler
Well-Known Member
It is a bit of a conundrum (I think that is the right word). I struggle with those niceties that may parents called 'manners'. The holding of doors, the offering to carry something for someone else, the offering of a seat to someone else. I too defer to my seniors, pregnant women, people who seem to be struggling. Sure is nice though to have someone else offer a bit of comfort or convenience to me!
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
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Just to interpret this long post, john, one day you held a door open for a person and said person gave you considerable s**t and abuse for it? And it caused you not to wish to extend this sort of courtesy to other persons for a whole year?
Is there some dramatic interpretation involved here that I'm missing?
What I find most difficult about this open door thing is the 'distance judgement'. I exist within an environment of many buildings, not all of them seamlessly connected. There is much decision making about the considerable leeway between "letting the door go in their face" and "making them run because you've been waiting holding that door open for them now for 75 seconds or so"...
Is there some dramatic interpretation involved here that I'm missing?
What I find most difficult about this open door thing is the 'distance judgement'. I exist within an environment of many buildings, not all of them seamlessly connected. There is much decision making about the considerable leeway between "letting the door go in their face" and "making them run because you've been waiting holding that door open for them now for 75 seconds or so"...
ChemGal
One with keen eye
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Haven't had the best week. Shared with council already, wasn't sure what I wanted out in public at the time.
I have the cold that sounds like others have been dealing with. My throat's been kinda off and on with it. Probably some attacks in there I didn't deal with as well as I could have. Once I was like eh maybe, it's time for the regular dose anyway - about 30 min later my throat was fine so no point in treating it then.
Chemguy's employment is also changing. The Canadian division of the company has been up for sale for quite a while, but things are moving very quickly. Thursday is the day for everything to switch over. We're trying to sort out health benefits as best we can - things are a bit of a mess that way, in the past the changes were never so rushed. He only got most of the information today - so not even a full week and we still don't have all the info.
I have the cold that sounds like others have been dealing with. My throat's been kinda off and on with it. Probably some attacks in there I didn't deal with as well as I could have. Once I was like eh maybe, it's time for the regular dose anyway - about 30 min later my throat was fine so no point in treating it then.
Chemguy's employment is also changing. The Canadian division of the company has been up for sale for quite a while, but things are moving very quickly. Thursday is the day for everything to switch over. We're trying to sort out health benefits as best we can - things are a bit of a mess that way, in the past the changes were never so rushed. He only got most of the information today - so not even a full week and we still don't have all the info.
Nancy
Well-Known Member
Holding a door open for someone coming up behind you is a way of saying: I see you. You are important. Let me do this one little thing for you. If someone holds the door for me, we make eye contact and smile, and humanity is as it should be. Sorry John that you didn't experience the best in people.
Yesterday was a yukky day: One friend was diagnosed with a big, inoperable brain tumour; another friend is in the hospital because of heart scares. After we worked together in the breakfast program at the school, I told my friend that she really should have all of her worries checked out at the doctor's. She listened and ended up in the hospital. Praying that both will get through this with hope and strength.
Yesterday was a yukky day: One friend was diagnosed with a big, inoperable brain tumour; another friend is in the hospital because of heart scares. After we worked together in the breakfast program at the school, I told my friend that she really should have all of her worries checked out at the doctor's. She listened and ended up in the hospital. Praying that both will get through this with hope and strength.