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I used to go to outlet sales with my Mom & sisters and we would have so much fun.
Today, I went with my SIL to one in Missassauga, then, we spotted signs for another one, and went to it.
Both were true warehouse sales, ie, only held twice/year. Picked up quite a few items for myself, our graden, our dog, and my OldestSon's new apartment.
More importantly, had a lovely visit with my SIL which was good for my soul. They live close and as we have more time available, it is good to spend time together.
 
Pinga and Seeler...I was sorry to hear that you both had difficult relationships with your father. And thanks for your concerns about my fragility statement...I'm okay...but there seem to be a lot of people around me going through life changing, sometimes health related, events. One thinks they are on a certain path or road in life and then suddenly...a ginormous detour. When it is all around me, I get a little anxious and wonder when it will be my turn. Isn't that an awful way for a Christian to feel?
 
I haven't been "in the room" for ages, but it seems to be a good place to vent........

I'm pleased, of course, that my brother has been well enough to fly home from The Netherlands -even though he is still quite ill

But, there was another sign to the coin.
We four remaining siblings hadn't spent so much time together alone since we were kids. It began well, but soon all the old grievances from our childhood surfaced.
After one particularly bad day, I went to bed early and soon started sobbing. All the feelings of being the eldest, being responsible and yet overwhelmed and helpless to "fix" everything hit me. Intellectually I knew that I wasn't responsible for them anymore - but emotionally I was that anxious little girl again.
In the coming days I began to see that I wasn't the only one reliving our childhood traumas - and it left me with the sad realisation that, even though I will always love my siblings, it is no longer a good idea to spend much time together.
 
aaah, PP. Gentle hugs to be easy on yourself. What a stressful time you have had, and how much you did together to make it through. maybe give it a bit more time for you to recover from the roller coaster.

I am not dismissing your feelings. I too have come to realize that some familyrelationships are best at a distance.
 
Eldest child's sense of responsibility. I have an older sister - in our 70s and she can still make me feel like a bumbling incompetent bother. I love her but ...
Pilgrim, you help me by telling how it looks from your view point.
You are right; Sometimes we have to be careful about too much togetherness.
 
PilgrimsProgress said:
A hug back atcha!
Personally, I blame those Pollock genes. ;)
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Pole Lux ... extremes of light dancing on the nonexistent psyche ... for those that don't believe in the bottom line (mined) that support awareness (apocalypse) ... in case it hits yah some day?

Would that be a mire a' cla' ... the shadow imposed ...
 
Seeler said:
Eldest child's sense of responsibility. I have an older sister - in our 70s and she can still make me feel like a bumbling incompetent bother. I love her but ...
Pilgrim, you help me by telling how it looks from your view point.
You are right; Sometimes we have to be careful about too much togetherness.
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Seeler, one of my younger sisters is in a similar position to you.......
When we were all kids she, in a schoolteacher's family, had the misfortune to have a lower I.Q. than the rest of us. Dad told us we all had to help her, which we did. I assumed that she had an intellectual impairment -so, years later, I was surprised to learn that she has an average intelligence. She was very dependant and, as a child, just went along with what was happening. She has since married, raised a family and is very competent.
Her childhood wounds? You can't tell her anything now even when you're just trying to be helpful -without her getting very angry.
(The upside was that she got a lot of attention from Dad, which means that she relates well with men and has a good marriage.)

The two of us arrived home from the Netherlands exhausted after two long flights and discovered that we had to place our passports in this new machine thingy. I watched the person ahead of me and copied what they did. I looked across and saw my sister struggling and went over. "Put the passport in the other way round'', I said. She screamed at me, "Stop telling me what to do!" The entire room could hear her!


But, the thing is, because I now had an understanding about how childhood trauma stays with you, I just let it go and didn't up the ante with, say, "How rude -I was just trying to be helpful" etc

My youngest sister is the most intelligent of us girls -and she isn't bothered when I tell her what to do - because she thinks she always knows best anyway! lol.
 
PilgrimsProgress said:
Seeler, one of my younger sisters is in a similar position to you.......
When we were all kids she, in a schoolteacher's family, had the misfortune to have a lower I.Q. than the rest of us. Dad told us we all had to help her, which we did. I assumed that she had an intellectual impairment -so, years later, I was surprised to learn that she has an average intelligence. She was very dependant and, as a child, just went along with what was happening. She has since married, raised a family and is very competent.
Her childhood wounds? You can't tell her anything now even when you're just trying to be helpful -without her getting very angry.
(The upside was that she got a lot of attention from Dad, which means that she relates well with men and has a good marriage.)

The two of us arrived home from the Netherlands exhausted after two long flights and discovered that we had to place our passports in this new machine thingy. I watched the person ahead of me and copied what they did. I looked across and saw my sister struggling and went over. "Put the passport in the other way round'', I said. She screamed at me, "Stop telling me what to do!" The entire room could hear her!


But, the thing is, because I now had an understanding about how childhood trauma stays with you, I just let it go and didn't up the ante with, say, "How rude -I was just trying to be helpful" etc

My youngest sister is the most intelligent of us girls -and she isn't bothered when I tell her what to do - because she thinks she always knows best anyway! lol.
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Tis an enigma ... know! Some say a mental complex in a world that accepts only simple responses ...
 
crazyheart said:
@Nancy , Why should a Christian feel any different than any other religion\?
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I'm not comparing myself to other religions in this case. I'm meaning....as a person of faith, I think I should be able to deal with anxieties through prayer. I'm sorry that you concluded otherwise.
 
All religions are about haute control .. elevated control ot the alternate mined and thus alternate thoughts as passions versus the primal ID !

Tis a mental conflict and thus eternal ... as the psyche is denied and out of the present emotional state of things ... ecto gracious?

No! The echoism is responding as a shaken mire ... dirt?
 
Interesting, I'm the oldest, but I don't feel responsible for my sister. It could be why she doesn't like to ask me for help though, hard to say as she doesn't really like asking for help much in general.
 
I'm in the middle- kinda. There are 3 close together, then, 6 years later, me, then, 8 years later, another sibling. Lots of mixed up relationships re oldest/youngest given the big gaps....other than the oldest is a LOT older than the youngest
 
crazyheart said:
@Nancy I don't think prayer always fixes problems. Oh my, prayer has never fixed my

anxieties. It may make me feel better to pray but I don.t expect prayer to fix anything.
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If you're anxious, and you pray, and the prayer makes you feel better - hasn't the prayer fixed something?
 
Pinga said:
I'm in the middle- kinda. There are 3 close together, then, 6 years later, me, then, 8 years later, another sibling. Lots of mixed up relationships re oldest/youngest given the big gaps....other than the oldest is a LOT older than the youngest
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I heard that seven or more years between children results in them being more like only children (if there is only one) or the oldest, middle and youngest (if near in age) in a second family.
 
6 1/2 between be and my sister (fringe personalities?) and only 4 between me and my half sister now deceased so thus eternally separated (she was a doll).

The half brother is 21 years separated ... and after thought ... just something else again ...
 
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