Question: Lecturing

[paradox3]

@Northwind
Yes history there with you and Council. Not specifically with you and @JayneWonders

These conflicts are tough on everyone and I imagine internal conflict on the leadership team is especially difficult.

I am thinking of @chansen and others as well as you & @ChemGal & JayneWonders

 

[Northwind]

Thanks for clarifying @paradox3. That history does have an impact indeed.

 

[Carolla]

Never lecture ... tell a story even if the receiver believes it no factual

Tell a story - that was Jesus' way of teaching, of encouraging others to reflect on their own behaviours & make changes to themselves, which differs from focusing on controlling behaviours of others. Good point @Luce NDs.

Readiness & ability to move on when others do not take up the message that is offered is a challenging thing - we have a human prediliction to wanting to be 'right' - so 'right fighting' can errupt - people become entrenched & we see the demise of dialogue and any hopes of understanding, growth, change.

My observation is that 'right fighting' has escalated - here and elsewhere - over the past couple of years. When I see that happening here, I usually offer a bit of input, then bow out of commenting further. It's not a strategy that works for everyone, but it does for me.

 

[Waterfall]

Tell a story - that was Jesus' way of teaching, of encouraging others to reflect on their own behaviours & make changes to themselves, which differs from focusing on controlling behaviours of others. Good point @Luce NDs.

Readiness & ability to move on when others do not take up the message that is offered is a challenging thing - we have a human prediliction to wanting to be 'right' - so 'right fighting' can errupt - people become entrenched & we see the demise of dialogue and any hopes of understanding, growth, change.

My observation is that 'right fighting' has escalated - here and elsewhere - over the past couple of years. When I see that happening here, I usually offer a bit of input, then bow out of commenting further. It's not a strategy that works for everyone, but it does for me.

I suspect it's easier to bow out when one is not involved or is not affected by any outcome.
"Right fighting" to me seems a derogatory term that dismisses issues.

 

[Northwind]

I suspect it's easier to bow out when one is not involved or is not affected by any outcome.
"Right fighting" to me seems a derogatory term that dismisses issues.

Absolutely. It's harder to bow out when certain factors are involved. I know when I've gotten sucked in being right is not my goal despite what it looks like.

 

[Carolla]

I suspect it's easier to bow out when one is not involved or is not affected by any outcome.
"Right fighting" to me seems a derogatory term that dismisses issues.

Yes - could certainly be easier when one is not directly affected. Harder to step away in other circumstances but not impossible and sometimes it's healthier. I have experienced it in situations where I am directly involved, and otherwise too.

Re "Right fighting" - it's not my term, there's lots written about it. I find it to be descriptive of behaviour rather than derogatory or dismissive of the person or the issue.

 

[Nancy]

I'm trying to think of something of value to say...something intelligent and witty and inspiring. Coming up empty, except to say....I love you all. I read your comments with some effort to understand that some are derived from contemplation, some from hurt and history, and some from a sense of responsibility. I provide nothing deep in this forum, but many of you do. I am grateful for your intelligence, your emotions, your history, your sense of responsibility. As for the hurt...let's acknowledge it, and grow from there.

 

[Luce NDs]

I suspect it's easier to bow out when one is not involved or is not affected by any outcome.
"Right fighting" to me seems a derogatory term that dismisses issues.

Thus Bo Dunne ... and it all went down!

 

[paradox3]

Yes - could certainly be easier when one is not directly affected. Harder to step away in other circumstances but not impossible and sometimes it's healthier. I have experienced it in situations where I am directly involved, and otherwise too.

Re "Right fighting" - it's not my term, there's lots written about it. I find it to be descriptive of behaviour rather than derogatory or dismissive of the person or the issue.

Had never heard the term before and looked it up. It may be descriptive but it would be insulting to be accused of doing it here or elsewhere.

 

[jimkenney12]

This discussion is quite helpful to me. I am a bit Aspergers in that I have trouble reading social cues. B on occassion calls me Sheldon Sam. Sheldon is the lead character in Big Bang Theory. Sam is the lead character in the Netflix series Atypical. It is hard work for me to read the room and sort out important social cues. I do not always invest enough effort in this. Your many and diverse comments are useful to me.

 

[paradox3]

This discussion is quite helpful to me. I am a bit Aspergers in that I have trouble reading social cues. B on occassion calls me Sheldon Sam. Sheldon is the lead character in Big Bang Theory. Sam is the lead character in the Netflix series Atypical. It is hard work for me to read the room and sort out important social cues. I do not always invest enough effort in this. Your many and diverse comments are useful to me.

Atypical on Netflix was wonderful wasn't it?

Agreeing that this has been a most helpful thread.

 

[jimkenney12]

Atypical was really wonderful. I thought it would be worth including in a curriculum for schools or post secondary, though not necessarily the whole seriesm

 

[ChemGal]

This discussion is quite helpful to me. I am a bit Aspergers in that I have trouble reading social cues. B on occassion calls me Sheldon Sam. Sheldon is the lead character in Big Bang Theory. Sam is the lead character in the Netflix series Atypical. It is hard work for me to read the room and sort out important social cues. I do not always invest enough effort in this. Your many and diverse comments are useful to me.

You have mentioned this a few times I have not recalled ever picking up on that from you. Online is definitely different than face to face though. There ae people online who mention having autism and it's not surprising.

 

[Northwind]

This discussion is quite helpful to me. I am a bit Aspergers in that I have trouble reading social cues. B on occassion calls me Sheldon Sam. Sheldon is the lead character in Big Bang Theory. Sam is the lead character in the Netflix series Atypical. It is hard work for me to read the room and sort out important social cues. I do not always invest enough effort in this. Your many and diverse comments are useful to me.

I've always appreciated your contributions here. I also enjoyed meeting you at GC in Ottawa. I admire your sharp brain and ability to articulate difficult issues clearly.

 

[BetteTheRed]

"Right-fighting" would be one of my character flaws.

 

[paradox3]

"Right-fighting" would be one of my character flaws.

* Chuckles ruefully at this little cartoon *

Oh yeah.

 

[Luce NDs]

* Chuckles ruefully at this little cartoon *

Oh yeah.

Really ... is it a virtue to go on this way? It is for characters with much time ... and if out of the effort ... what else? The gods dem ayahs ... euphemise etix.

 

[JayneWonders]

Hey,

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. Much appreciated.
As others have said, I feel that we have learned a bit about each other, and maybe some techniques / tips too.