Perimenopause Sucks

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Tonight I I bought a bottle of vitamin B complex, and herbal capsules - specifically for these issues - with chasteberry and don quai and some other stuff in it that supposedly helps balance hormones. We’ll see if it helps at all. I know there are herbal sceptics, as well as women who swear it helps them. I’m not afraid it’ll do any harm, just that it might’ve been a waste of $25.
 
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I would definitely see your doctor. He can refer you to a menopause specialist.

I was lucky and didn’t have a bad time other than hot flashes. Mood issues were for me no different that mood swings during my periods

But medical advice could help or at least point you in the right direction. And I think people selling herbal remedies think they are all going to work. Get some educated advice first. IMO
 
I feel I should start by saying I'm not a doctor, and if you have symptoms that are troubling you, Kimmio, you should seek medical advice.

Now having said that, I'm quite willing to say that your symptoms sure sound like my experience.

My doctor made me document my menstrual experiences, so that when I came in for my appointments he could take in the bigger picture,
and I've got my notes here. My period started going haywire when I was 43. Some months I'd go 37 days between periods, and others I'd go 16.
Other months I'd be regular in that they were 25 to 28 days apart. Some months they'd be very light, and other months I'd have a very heavy bleed in one day and then be done with it. I loathed those heavy bleed days - I'd feel like the strength was draining right out of me. And I
loathed having the bathroom floor looking like a slaughterhouse floor, and having to clean up the bathroom constantly. But my husband would put an arm around me and then throw a steak on the BBQ for us, so I could get some more iron into me.

By the time I was 47, there were no more heavy bleeds, which was so liberating. (No more slaughterhouse floor! Yay!)
My periods were now far apart, the shortest time being 31 days, and the average time was 58 days between periods. One time it was 99 days between periods, and I believed I might have menopaused......but I hadn't. And the most annoying thing was I got it just before I hopped on a flight.
(I don't get a period for 99 days, and then get it the day I get on a cross Canada flight? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me?) (That was the mood swings talking.)

The last period I had was a few drops that came after 190 days. And I really thought I had menopaused....but I hadn't. And I had to buy pads.
(My teenage daughter is much slimmer than me, so we don't use the same products. ) Then it was: I'm 49 years old, went 190 days without a period, and now I'm forking out $10 for supplies? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me? (Mood swings again!)

But I had this intuitive feeling that it really was my last period, so we'll see.......
 
You never know (unless for some medical reason) when you have had your last period. I think you can say you've achieved menopause when you're period-free for a year. Mine got erratic and much lighter until I was done.
Perimenopause does suck. Many of us looking back can see how much we were jerked around by those ever-changing hormones. Can't say I miss all that.

I found a book (or the book found me). Not for everyone, but I felt better reading it due to it's interesting, homespun style and large range of approaches for each stage....from perimenopause and beyond. I had the original 1992 edition. There's a new one now. I haven't seen it. It's more up-to-date and probably less weird and "safer"....I like the older one.

https://books.google.ca/books/about...AACAAJ&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y

And as has been stated, check with your healthcare professional about stuff.

New Menopausal Years:"Wise+woman+ways"&dq=bibliogroup:"Wise+woman+ways"&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi7lIzU1fzgAhURMawKHdINDjIQ6AEIJDAC

New Menopausal Years:"Wise+woman+ways"&dq=bibliogroup:"Wise+woman+ways"&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi7lIzU1fzgAhURMawKHdINDjIQ6AEIJDAC
 
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books.google.ca

Menopausal Years

Susun Weed(author of best-seller "Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year" ) spent three years talking with more than 10,000 women about their menopause. She discovered that their experiences differ hugely from most published accounts:
books.google.ca

The old one.
Dontcha love it when you miss your edit time when making corrections?:cautious:
 
@Kimmio - yes the cycles tend to go wild, less predictable, and, volumes tend to shift.

I think it was in the thread regarding taking the pill for "continuous" that I talked about wearing black pants, and how we had spare clothes.
One never knew when it would start, and the volume could be quite heavy when it did.
 
GO3838 said:
I feel I should start by saying I'm not a doctor, and if you have symptoms that are troubling you, Kimmio, you should seek medical advice.

Now having said that, I'm quite willing to say that your symptoms sure sound like my experience.

My doctor made me document my menstrual experiences, so that when I came in for my appointments he could take in the bigger picture,
and I've got my notes here. My period started going haywire when I was 43. Some months I'd go 37 days between periods, and others I'd go 16.
Other months I'd be regular in that they were 25 to 28 days apart. Some months they'd be very light, and other months I'd have a very heavy bleed in one day and then be done with it. I loathed those heavy bleed days - I'd feel like the strength was draining right out of me. And I
loathed having the bathroom floor looking like a slaughterhouse floor, and having to clean up the bathroom constantly. But my husband would put an arm around me and then throw a steak on the BBQ for us, so I could get some more iron into me.

By the time I was 47, there were no more heavy bleeds, which was so liberating. (No more slaughterhouse floor! Yay!)
My periods were now far apart, the shortest time being 31 days, and the average time was 58 days between periods. One time it was 99 days between periods, and I believed I might have menopaused......but I hadn't. And the most annoying thing was I got it just before I hopped on a flight.
(I don't get a period for 99 days, and then get it the day I get on a cross Canada flight? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me?) (That was the mood swings talking.)

The last period I had was a few drops that came after 190 days. And I really thought I had menopaused....but I hadn't. And I had to buy pads.
(My teenage daughter is much slimmer than me, so we don't use the same products. ) Then it was: I'm 49 years old, went 190 days without a period, and now I'm forking out $10 for supplies? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me? (Mood swings again!)

But I had this intuitive feeling that it really was my last period, so we'll see.......
Click to expand...
This is extremely helpful, and familiar. Thanks for sharing all those details. I found that regular sized pads are usually ok for daytime for at least a couple of hours, but leak at night, just because of sleeping positions I guess. I need the long ones. Even they leak at night. They used to only come in one length, that I remember, and were bulkier and made noise when I walked...I hated that...while most of my life I used tampons. At least pads are made with thinner absorbant material now so they don’t feel like diapers and don’t show, even while wearing jeans. In fact, I find them more comfortable than tampons now. I just bought some last night, store brand, on sale for for $2.99 for 20. I’ve used this type before and they’re fine (except for the plastic situation - oh well. Long story but there was a pipe leak in the bathroom yesterday that got everything under the sink wet, and I had to buy new ones and throw away the “natural/ eco friendly” ones I bought 2 weeks ago so I bought cheap replacements )...the store brand I got are exactly like “Always”.

I’ve never heard of a menopause specialist. Sigh. I am already seeing too many doctors now. It’s a pain in the nether regions...so to speak. I wish I could see my doctors at the same time in one room!
 
Pinga said:
@Kimmio - yes the cycles tend to go wild, less predictable, and, volumes tend to shift.

I think it was in the thread regarding taking the pill for "continuous" that I talked about wearing black pants, and how we had spare clothes.
One never knew when it would start, and the volume could be quite heavy when it did.
Click to expand...
I think I mentioned in that thread, I wear a thin pad almost everyday now, except for a few days after my period ends...just to feel more secure...and I carry supplies in my purse, so that I am prepared before any major leaks happen. So, my garbage can fills up faster, unfortunately.

I had an embarrassing situation while I was still in my late 30s. I was even noticing that I was more hormonal challenged then, sometimes. My in-laws were staying with us. We slept in the living room on an inflatable mattress and gave them our bedroom for a week. I knew I was PMSing but I thought I had a few more days, and we were so busy everyday and I wasn’t expecting it the day it happened...that time I had terrible swollen ankles from walking around all over the place and retaining water...and one afternoon, my period flooded and nearly ruined a pair of pants...and I had no supplies left under the sink! I thought I did but I guess I had run out and forgotten to get more. So, I sent my husband to the corner store...and I was trying to figure out how I was going to get from the bathroom, passing by the living room, into our bedroom that they were using, to get a change of clothes. I ended up sitting in the bathroom for 15-20 minutes waiting until my husband got home, and he brought me what I needed and a change of underwear and pants...then I had to find change for the laundry and go downstairs and wash everything before the stains set in (they were olive green light cotton Capri pants and amazingly, I got the stain out)...by this time he’s explained to his parents, in their native language, what’s going on, because they were concerned. Awkward! But they are used to living in a big family in close quarters and it was no big deal to them. I was a bit embarrassed though.
 
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I know this is a lot of personal information...but it used to be - since my periods first started - that if I wasn’t entirely paying attention to the day my period was supposed to arrive, but I knew more or less it was coming...I would get a bit of warning before it started. At worst, I would get a little bit of discharge in my underwear mixed with “old blood” - not enough to ruin clothing, and knew it was arriving that night or the next day, and I would have time before any “accident” like that happened...at least a day to make sure I had tampons. But that time...and now...I don’t get that little warning.
 
We all feel your pain. It can be hard to get a handle on it

It specialist dealing with menopause can be a big help. Sometimes family docs sort of ignore this as just a normal part of life

Me, I was lucky. And I am not sure if having kids helps or makes it worse
 
Lastpointe said:
We all feel your pain. It can be hard to get a handle on it

It specialist dealing with menopause can be a big help. Sometimes family docs sort of ignore this as just a normal part of life

Me, I was lucky. And I am not sure if having kids helps or makes it worse
Click to expand...
I think it just depends on the person. My mom had a bad time with it, and went through it all a bit younger than average. I had a coworker whose periods just suddenly stopped, early, in her mid thirties. No complications or uncomfortable symptoms or anything, and she’d had all the kids she was going to have. It just stopped and that was it, she never had another period. From my point of view, she was fortunate, because I think i’m In it for the long haul...but some women might find that upsetting.
 
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GO3838 said:
I feel I should start by saying I'm not a doctor, and if you have symptoms that are troubling you, Kimmio, you should seek medical advice.

Now having said that, I'm quite willing to say that your symptoms sure sound like my experience.

My doctor made me document my menstrual experiences, so that when I came in for my appointments he could take in the bigger picture,
and I've got my notes here. My period started going haywire when I was 43. Some months I'd go 37 days between periods, and others I'd go 16.
Other months I'd be regular in that they were 25 to 28 days apart. Some months they'd be very light, and other months I'd have a very heavy bleed in one day and then be done with it. I loathed those heavy bleed days - I'd feel like the strength was draining right out of me. And I
loathed having the bathroom floor looking like a slaughterhouse floor, and having to clean up the bathroom constantly. But my husband would put an arm around me and then throw a steak on the BBQ for us, so I could get some more iron into me.

By the time I was 47, there were no more heavy bleeds, which was so liberating. (No more slaughterhouse floor! Yay!)
My periods were now far apart, the shortest time being 31 days, and the average time was 58 days between periods. One time it was 99 days between periods, and I believed I might have menopaused......but I hadn't. And the most annoying thing was I got it just before I hopped on a flight.
(I don't get a period for 99 days, and then get it the day I get on a cross Canada flight? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me?) (That was the mood swings talking.)

The last period I had was a few drops that came after 190 days. And I really thought I had menopaused....but I hadn't. And I had to buy pads.
(My teenage daughter is much slimmer than me, so we don't use the same products. ) Then it was: I'm 49 years old, went 190 days without a period, and now I'm forking out $10 for supplies? Are you @#$%&#$% kidding me? (Mood swings again!)

But I had this intuitive feeling that it really was my last period, so we'll see.......
Click to expand...
I'm confused about the comment about the bathroom floor. I've had some heavy flows, although that tended to lead to more clots so I was less likely to drip blood. When it did happen, it was just the toilet seat, how does the bathroom floor become a mess?
 
Oooh, easy.

First there is the dripping from the undergarments and whatever you are wearing.

Then there is the pants being dropped down when you take them off.

I had found that the liners didn't cut it. Too heavy, too fast. It is good that they are giving you protection.

It is good to go see a specialist. I didn't but thinking "why did I put up with that s**t?"
 
I didn’t want to go to room for all about this, or start a new thread about it...so I put it here because I started this thread to vent a bit already.

I woke up feeling down today (talking about Tues) and was in a funk all day. Nothing about anything seemed good. A big part of it is hormonal...I’m pms-ey, can feel that coming on too. But there’s more too it.

On Monday, early afternoon, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was actually at the children’s hospital for kids with disabilities, here. I think it’s mostly a day hospital. They now have an adult program for lower income people who need long term orthopaedic assessments, fittings for assistive devices/ prosthetics/ etc. that the physiatrist I was seeing (rehab medicine) referred me to. They make some of it onsite. It’s on several acres of land - a “campus” with few smaller buildings and lots of land surrounding it. Across the field, beside it, is the building I used to go to for physio and swimming, from age 3 or 4 to age 12-13.

It was eerie. I saw three patients - kids with their moms, there in that hour, and just a few staff. Hardly anyone there, on all that land, and no cell reception anywhere out there! One of the moms and two of the kids (twins) I saw were in a waiting area where I had to use a courtesy phone. The others were outside as I was leaving. It was so quiet.

The main building looks newer than the 70s, but the one I was directed to when I got there is the same building I went to at age 2 or 3, and 4 and 5, to get fitted for various braces, orthopaedic shoes, etc. It was like the grim visions of nightmares, for me. I walked down an old grey hallway passing dingey looking workshops and rooms where they measure patients - saw a couple of guys working with some machinery. I was having flashbacks that were unpleasant, of being taken there by my mom. Flashbacks of creepy old people touching and pulling and prodding me as if I wasn’t a person. My doctor was pleasant, and at least her office was bright yellow...but I was trying to talk about the business I was there for while suddenly dealing with these feelings of horror. I also had a memory of a nurse who was mean and cold and being in a dark room, alone, in traction. But that was at Sunny Hill, on the mainland, when I was 2. I think she hurt me. Not sexual abuse I don’t think, but I think she was rough with me, because i’ve had vague flashbacks about that for a long time, but I don’t know for sure.

Anyway... it was a successful visit in that I will be fitted for some things that I tried on samples of...that are actually pretty discreet under clothes and inside shoes. But I had to push the emotion down. I did cry for a few seconds, explained to the doctor that I was feeling triggered by being there, which she understood. I tried really hard to forget about it for the rest of the day. But Tuesday, I felt like crap.
 
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Parry hoo? With that dark guy within ... the unknown soul keeps popping up and some run the BS that this abstract ... well, just isn't! Still heh haunts folks ...
 
Kimmio, I am sorry to hear of your recent experiences, and of your experiences at such a young age that they still come back to haunt you. You must've found it very difficult.
 
Luce NDs said:
Parry hoo? With that dark guy within ... the unknown soul keeps popping up and some run the BS that this abstract ... well, just isn't! Still heh haunts folks ...
Click to expand...
... speaking of abstract, I was making my way to the “black couch” to wait for the doctor - the receptionist directed me there, at the end of the hallway and around a corner at the end of another shorter hallway...my doctor saw me pass her office and figured out I was her patient so I never made it to the black couch - which was straight ahead - with a large black and grey abstract painting over it, sort of graffiti-like...looked like some kind of black and grey spaghetti monster. Cold and unappealing for a kids’ facility, right? It was just a weird experience.
 
Kimmio Laughterlove said:
... speaking of abstract, I was making my way to the “black couch” to wait for the doctor - the receptionist directed me there, at the end of the hallway and around a corner at the end of another shorter hallway...my doctor saw me pass her office and figured out I was her patient so I never made it to the black couch - which was straight ahead - with a large black and grey abstract painting over it, sort of graffiti-like...looked like some kind of black and grey spaghetti monster. Cold and unappealing for a kids’ facility, right? It was just a weird experience.
Click to expand...

One needs a come down to face medical authority ... that seem to believe more than they really do. Then the philosophy side of the training teaches them you are the authority according to the academic institution ... which seems to be lacking in the practical side as little experience is encountered when confined to accademia ... the demon of acacia! Tis a thorny issue that can put you in a spin when considering the mental conflicts imbibed ... a'meme non IHC?
 
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