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GiancarloZ said:
@Mendalla - I'm continuing here, as the subject changed.
How is your congregation search going?
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Ha, knew I had seen you ask.

Was back to W-K again. I think we may just land there though the distance could be an issue if I start getting involved beyond Sunday mornings. This coming Sunday is a soup lunch so our first chance to get really social.
 
Mendalla said:
Ha, knew I had seen you ask.

Was back to W-K again. I think we may just land there though the distance could be an issue if I start getting involved beyond Sunday mornings. This coming Sunday is a soup lunch so our first chance to get really social.
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I'm glad you're finding a place for yourselves.
 
GiancarloZ said:
... [My wife] has a problem with the "heavy" liturgy of ELCIC. She thinks 4 readings are too much and she cannot concentrate or meditate about them. She isn't a big fan of church music. It's difficult. She's from Québec and was raised in a secular/atheist home, going to a United Church sometimes with her grandparents. She's searching for something like that, but I think her memories were more about her grandparents and the general ambiance. Difficult to find it.
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As a French-speaking Quebecer, former Roman Catholic who became Anglican some 30 years ago, I see the challenge. I can't really compare Anglican and Lutheran liturgy because we have one Lutheran (ELCIC) church in Montréal and one in the suburbs. In the Anglican Church, we have a very wide variety of styles, starting at one extreme with St John the Evangelist with old liturgy, 16th century language (the old Book of Common Prayer) and madrigals played by a paid choir, and going at the other extreme to my parish, St Jax which is closer in style to some evangelical churches (drums and guitars, a service where a single reading and a long sermon makes the largest part of the liturgy, etc.).

Generally speaking, I think that Evangelical Lutheran and Anglican Churches are probably on par in terms of "formal style", pump, having processions, etc. It depends much more of individual church communities. I also find – at least in Montréal – that modern style and progressive values(LGBT-friendliness, for instance) are two different concepts that don't go hand in hand.

As others have said, don't feel too sad if your wife joins you only on occasion.

One thing I like is to visit other parishes once a month or once every two months. It still keeps me grounded in my own parish yet keeps me off from being too much "on duty", i.e. working rather than enjoying the service. I also find it connects me to the universal Church of God. If you do something like that, you might want to explore some churches by yourself so you offer to your wife a "pre-selected" series of churches that might be a better fit for her.
 
Jae said:
... I've seen it the case in some United Churches where the spouse of the minister doesn't participate in church life. I've always found such cases sad.
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I find it sad if the spouse feels that they are either pushed aside or forced to get involved in ministry. Participation as a regular parishioner and involvement in parish life should be at their own will and only theirs, subject to normal quality controls like any other regular parishioner.

I am aware of some spouses who don't participate in the church where their spouse is minister because they can't be an ordinary member there. They prefer to get involved in another church community where they are Mr. or Ms. Nobody.
 
That system would be good in a big city. In rural areas that wouldn't be very practical unless the spouse is attracted to a totally different denomination.
 
In a church near here the minister's little girl was having a hard time adjusting. She had a hard time understanding when her mother was being minister and when she was being mommy – when it was appropriate to run up to her mother for a chat during a prayer, or to sit on mommy's knee during children's time.
The solution the parents came to was for the father and little girl to attend another church of the same denomination. There no more was expected of the little girl them to behave like that and the other preschooler, or was she singled out as the PK (preacher's kid).
 
That sounds like a good solution if there is another congregation of the same denomination reasonably close. Here there tends to be a drive of an hour or more between towns with a choice of denominations. Most towns don't have a full range of choices either. We don't have an Evangelical Lutheran church. A neighbouring town doesn't have an Anglican one etc..
 
mgagnonlv said:
I find it sad if the spouse feels that they are either pushed aside or forced to get involved in ministry.
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I remember a tempest in a teapot when a minister's wife was either working or studying for a degree, forget which, and couldn't go to the daytime UCW unit as her housewife predecessor had. I think it was the first time those ladies had to realize that it was the eighties, not the fifties.
 
Seeler said:
In a church near here the minister's little girl was having a hard time adjusting. She had a hard time understanding when her mother was being minister and when she was being mommy – when it was appropriate to run up to her mother for a chat during a prayer, or to sit on mommy's knee during children's time.
The solution the parents came to was for the father and little girl to attend another church of the same denomination. There no more was expected of the little girl them to behave like that and the other preschooler, or was she singled out as the PK (preacher's kid).
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The PK's I know attend church regularly with my Toronto pastor and his wife. They are great examples for the rest of our youth of faithfulness to God. Church life has really been blessed by their joyful presence. And their family is an excellent model for other families in the church to follow.
 
Jae said:
The PK's I know attend church regularly with my Toronto pastor and his wife. They are great examples for the rest of our youth of faithfulness to God. Church life has really been blessed by their joyful presence. And their family is an excellent model for other families in the church to follow.
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Different family, different church.
 
I heard about a single priest who took his surplices to the head of the Church womens' group. She opened the door and greeted him but already had visitors and wasn't about to invite him to join them. So she said "Is there something I can help you with?" He responded by shoving the armful of surplices at her and smiling. She repeated her question and he responded with "I've brought you my surplices to wash. The Church Women always did them in my last parish". She took a big breath and pointed out that the Church Women in this parish have never provided that service but there is a washer and dryer in the Rectory and also a laundry on Main St.
 
KayTheCurler said:
I heard about a single priest who took his surplices to the head of the Church womens' group. She opened the door and greeted him but already had visitors and wasn't about to invite him to join them. So she said "Is there something I can help you with?" He responded by shoving the armful of surplices at her and smiling. She repeated her question and he responded with "I've brought you my surplices to wash. The Church Women always did them in my last parish". She took a big breath and pointed out that the Church Women in this parish have never provided that service but there is a washer and dryer in the Rectory and also a laundry on Main St.
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wow!
 
KayTheCurler said:
I heard about a single priest who took his surplices to the head of the Church womens' group. She opened the door and greeted him but already had visitors and wasn't about to invite him to join them. So she said "Is there something I can help you with?" He responded by shoving the armful of surplices at her and smiling. She repeated her question and he responded with "I've brought you my surplices to wash. The Church Women always did them in my last parish". She took a big breath and pointed out that the Church Women in this parish have never provided that service but there is a washer and dryer in the Rectory and also a laundry on Main St.
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Happens a lot in Brazil, but I would say the majority of the women's groups enjoy doing it. I have seen many embarrassed priests/pastors have been left no option, been told: "that's how we've been doing things in this parish". My wife feared that if I were a pastor in Brazil she would need to let the women's group go too much into our lives and house if we would live in a parsonage.
 
mgagnonlv said:
As a French-speaking Quebecer, former Roman Catholic who became Anglican some 30 years ago, I see the challenge. I can't really compare Anglican and Lutheran liturgy because we have one Lutheran (ELCIC) church in Montréal and one in the suburbs. In the Anglican Church, we have a very wide variety of styles, starting at one extreme with St John the Evangelist with old liturgy, 16th century language (the old Book of Common Prayer) and madrigals played by a paid choir, and going at the other extreme to my parish, St Jax which is closer in style to some evangelical churches (drums and guitars, a service where a single reading and a long sermon makes the largest part of the liturgy, etc.).
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My wife is also French and her family used to be RC, but the closest church to them was a UCCan congregation. So the grandparents attended that church.
Regarding ELCIC liturgy, it has some variety as well, I'd say, but not so much as the Anglicans. The standard parish is like mine, following the ELW liturgy and the lectionary, but with mixed style music. Some old hymns with organ, some new songs with piano or a band, and even Hillsong sometimes. And we surely have very traditional ones, as it is the case of the downtown Montreal ELCIC parish.

mgagnonlv said:
Generally speaking, I think that Evangelical Lutheran and Anglican Churches are probably on par in terms of "formal style", pump, having processions, etc. It depends much more of individual church communities. I also find – at least in Montréal – that modern style and progressive values(LGBT-friendliness, for instance) are two different concepts that don't go hand in hand.
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In Brazil, the general rule is that the drums and guitars = conservative, and traditional worship = progressive. I don't know if it is the same here.

mgagnonlv said:
As others have said, don't feel too sad if your wife joins you only on occasion.
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I surely don't. The thing is that I can see her struggle to find a suitable church for her, without success so far.

mgagnonlv said:
One thing I like is to visit other parishes once a month or once every two months. It still keeps me grounded in my own parish yet keeps me off from being too much "on duty", i.e. working rather than enjoying the service. I also find it connects me to the universal Church of God. If you do something like that, you might want to explore some churches by yourself so you offer to your wife a "pre-selected" series of churches that might be a better fit for her.
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That's a good idea. I've been visiting some churches but nothing I think she'd like so far. But I'll keep doing it. Thanks for your comments and suggestions!
 
Not so sure if you need to "lead" your wife to a church but rather just accompany her to where she chooses to go.
I hear even deserts have benefits.
 
Waterfall said:
Not so sure if you need to "lead" your wife to a church but rather just accompany her to where she chooses to go.
I hear even deserts have benefits.
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I agree with you, but she asked me to do this search for her because she wouldn't know where to start. I tried to convince her she could search for herself but she insisted that I help her with that.
 
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