Displaying affection in public places

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Seeler

Well-Known Member
Triggered by some posts on Facebook referring to Gay couples, but I think it applies to all couples. How comfortable are you with displays of affection in public places? Hand-holding? Kissing - a peck on the cheek or a mouth to mouth? An arm draped over the shoulder? Or more?

In church, or a lecture hall, a ball game, a movie?
 
I remember being very uncomfortable with a teenager and her boyfriend 'necking' in the livingroom while watching TV with visitors were present. Her mother didn't see anything wrong with it, and considered the neighbours prudes and busybodies when they objected to this behaviour in the adjoining backyards.
 
For myself, and for other couple (irregardless of same-gendered or opposite-gendered), I don't mind hand-holding, an arm around the shoulder, a quick peck on the cheek, and depending on the circumstances-a quick kiss on the lips, in public places. Circumstances being, just for example, if someone's significant other was leaving to go on a trip somewhere and their custom is to kiss good-bye, it wouldn't bother me if they gave one another a quick kiss on the lips, similar to a kiss on the cheek.

Any other display of private affection - long kisses, necking, intimate touching, etc. I prefer to see it kept private. Can't see why it can't be kept private.

But I guess I an old fuddy-duddy :),
 
We do a time of celebration during our worship services for birthdays and anniversaries. We have a fake cake and people put their pennies (nickles now) for their birthdays and anniversaries (and a few other celebrations). I have seen some couples give one another a very quick kiss on the lips during this time, and that was fine - very tasteful.
 
In saying how I feel now, I'm sure when I was young and in the throws of early passionate love, I've probably done a few things in public that I don't appreciate seeing myself now. "Sorry, all those I offended" :).
 
We do a time of celebration during our worship services for birthdays and anniversaries. We have a fake cake and people put their pennies (nickles now) for their birthdays and anniversaries (and a few other celebrations). I have seen some couples give one another a very quick kiss on the lips during this time, and that was fine - very tasteful.


They do that at my mom's UCCanada church too - with a couple of differences - their bank isn't cake-shaped - and I haven't seen anyone kiss.
 
I realize that times change, and some cultures are much more comfortable with physical contact than others. But I tend to agree with Beloved.
I think it touching when I see a couple linger in the touch of the shoulder when helping the other on with their coat, or reach out and help the other up a step or around a puddle. Someone recently remarked that they liked to see Seelergirl's man stroke her shoulder when sitting beside her (she is suffering from whiplash from a recent accident).
I also think there is a time and place for everything. A family movie in the early evening is quite different from the later show.
 
Triggered by some posts on Facebook referring to Gay couples, but I think it applies to all couples. How comfortable are you with displays of affection in public places? Hand-holding? Kissing - a peck on the cheek or a mouth to mouth? An arm draped over the shoulder? Or more?

In church, or a lecture hall, a ball game, a movie?

I definitely don't want to derail the conversation as I think it's a great one, but I was distracted by your use of uppercase for gay. Is there a reason for it? Maybe it was to distinguish it from the pre-20th century primary definition of gay?
 
It depends. My favourite PDA that I saw wasn't intended to be quite so public. In a store a women reached out and gave a quick butt squeeze. They were both older and there were no other customers, I don't think she saw me come in. When she turned around she looked quite embarrassed and commented how she didn't know someone was there, he cracked up and I smiled at both.
 
One time I was at DQ and saw a couple sharing (!) a bowl of soft serve ice milk. The young man would take a spoonful of it into his mouth - then pass it on to his girlfriend via an open-mouthed kiss. Why in public - why?
 
I draw the line at kissing myself, and that's the quick light kissing not full-throttle, tongues tangoing stuff. But holding hands, arms around each other, quick kisses or hugs, even quick butt-squeezes and such, all strike me as okay.

Situation obviously comes into play, too. If you're at a couples/adults-only resort with your better half then a lot more is acceptable than if you're in a fast food restaurant or theatre (though making out in the darkness of a cinema is a time-honoured tradition that I am cool with as long you aren't sitting next to me).

Personally, though, I find that many of the posts I see about PDAs online are people griping about gay/lesbian couples and I wonder if they really feel the same about heterosexual couples doing it (in fact, I wonder what they get up to in public). There does seem to be a bit of a double standard among some people with regard to PDAs along the lines of "it's okay if it's a type of couple that I approve of but not for those other people".
 
I feel sorry for people whose relationship is so poor that they need to make a public spectacle out of it. My wife and I are discreet in public - nothing outlandish.
 
Is it partly a generational thing, I wonder? Maybe the boundaries between public and private are looser for the current generation than for us, who are mostly boomers and Gen-X'ers?
 
I think it`s also an age thing, as I agree with Beloved`s post (#5) as well.
 
Is it partly a generational thing, I wonder? Maybe the boundaries between public and private are looser for the current generation than for us, who are mostly boomers and Gen-X'ers?


I think so. It seems to be the role of youth to push at the boundaries.
 
I definitely don't want to derail the conversation as I think it's a great one, but I was distracted by your use of uppercase for gay. Is there a reason for it? Maybe it was to distinguish it from the pre-20th century primary definition of gay?
Smote - I hadn't really thought about it, so I don't know why I capitalized gay. Perhaps it has something to do with distinguishing it from gay = carefree.
I used to work for a trust company. I always capitalized the word 'Will' when referring to 'Last Will and Testament' to distinguish it from the verb 'will' as in "I think I will change my Will."
I think I capitalized Gay for the same reason.
 
One time I was at DQ and saw a couple sharing (!) a bowl of soft serve ice milk. The young man would take a spoonful of it into his mouth - then pass it on to his girlfriend via an open-mouthed kiss. Why in public - why?
I think that I would find that disgusting to watch. Perhaps something 14 year-olds might think funny, but not for adults. Couldn't they use two spoons? or pass the spoon back and forth?
 
I think that I would find that disgusting to watch. Perhaps something 14 year-olds might think funny, but not for adults. Couldn't they use two spoons? or pass the spoon back and forth?


Yeah - they were pretty young - teens - though I recall them as high teens. It was strange - yet fascinating. I was too shy to watch them at length.
 
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