An article "The church is killing its gay kids"

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To be clear, it is about the effects of certain churches and kinds of churches. You cannot issue a blanket condemnation of "churches" when there are so many churches who do not fit the model and are working to fix the problem.

So, the real question becomes "What can those churches that are already in support of LGBT do?"

Be open and welcoming to those gay kids and adults who need a church home and have to leave the one they are in. Don't just wait for them to come but get out there and say, "Come on in, we want you here!"

Speak out loudly in support of political and social action on the issues, Don't be afraid to say that we are church-going, Bible (or whatever) believing Christians (or whatever) who believe in protecting LGBT from discrimination, who believe in the right of all to marry, who believe in the right of all to live as they are born without shame, fear, or pain caused by religious beliefs. Fight for separation of church and state that includes legislation based on rights for all persons without exceptions based on faith.

Be visible in their support of LGBT and other minorities so people can see which churches are "safe". Whose churches marched in, and had official representation at, their local Pride celebrations and parades? To say "we are welcoming" internally but be so quiet about it publicly that no one can find you is meaningless.

There is probably more, but those should get things started.

(Yes, we UUs try to do all three. I'm sure we aren't perfect, but we try.)
 
Mendalla said:
Be visible in their support of LGBT and other minorities so people can see which churches are "safe". Whose churches marched in, and had official representation at, their local Pride celebrations and parades? To say "we are welcoming" internally but be so quiet about it publicly that no one can find you is meaningless.
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I agree with all you wrote Mendalla ... but this point is particularly important IMO . Getting OUT of our buildings & being with these kids wherever they are is so important. Listening to them ... discerning how we can respectfully help in whatever ways they're needing ... not thinking we've got it all figured out. Building relationship is key.

In the "Fresh Expressions" resources, there's a great story about the Hot Chocolate Ministry ... which started with a few grandmas going outside & sharing some thermoses of hot chocolate & listening to kids - has become an outstanding youth ministry organization in the UK.
http://www.hotchocolate.org.uk/page1-Roots/index.html It's a service for all youth.
 
RitaTG said:
Here is a very sobering article about the effects of churches on gay kids.
Of course transgender kids would be part of this picture as well.
What do you think are practical things we can do to help?

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedh...its-gay-children-the-deadly-results-of-shame/
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right away that article starts with shame

which is quite bizarre for me because i've never felt ashamed for my identity or my acts associated with my identity

i wonder why a religious person would feel shame for who they are? is it because they are taught to feel shame for being a human being? shame over their flesh? for being able to use their brain? shame of their reproductive organs & other natural bodily processes? to be able to think positively aboot humanity and not blame all of humanity's successes on some outside personal entity?

what to do? i think part of it could be to be willing & skillfully able to speak out against fellow Christian groups when they do mean & hostile caca -- don't buy in to the 'they're Christian, just like us, following g_d's law' yakkity yakkity -- look at what happens when a Church thinks they are above our laws -- the Catholic Church pedophile priests ring a bell?

have courses where you teach your congregants how to think -- otherwise known as Ways of Liberation -- to be able to learn how to think outside of their BS -- the shame i think comes from being locked in one BS -- there are many ways to do that, from learning meditation to Yoga & certain courses and books (you could go out and go through the exercises in Robert Anton Wilson's books 'Prometheus Rising', or 'the New Inquisition', or 'Quantum Psychology' fer instance...) and/or teach basic logic courses...so people can learn stuff like where their thoughts & feelings come from etc...if the engine isn't running properly, no amount of bling or efficient fuel or awesome tire power will help make the car run at its best...this, of course, won't be without effort -- no True thing ever is...its a skill that can be learned and then expertise over time will be gained...eventually, getting to the point where one can laugh at homophobes and chuckle at statues of Baphomet...
 
i think it goes beyond just LBTQRSTLNEMP3withasideofmayo

women being shamed because they're women
men being ashamed of being men
westerners being ashamed of being western
white people being ashamed of being white
Liberals being ashamed...
i'm sure you can think of many others

Jesus & the Dalai Lama ferinstance didn't do their compassion etc thang by making ideas & thoughts & words illegal...they did it differently than human beings have done in the past...
 
or Christians being ashamed of being Christian, that's another shameful one ;3

first world problem?

and so it goes
 
Mandella wrote: Be visible in their support of LGBT and other minorities so people can see which churches are "safe". Whose churches marched in, and had official representation at, their local Pride celebrations and parades? To say "we are welcoming" internally but be so quiet about it publicly that no one can find you is meaningless.
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I was feeling defensive about my church (we are inclusive - we have lgbt people in our congregation, including in visible leadership roles - we do gay marriages - we baptize children of lesbian couples - we host a Rainbow luncheon) but then I read these words. "Be visible". How would a gay youth know this? How would they know that within our walls they would find acceptance, welcome, affirmation? We don't fly the rainbow flag (except inside our sanctuary on special occasions). We don't have a symbol on our church sign or on our literature or beside our newspaper ad (which just gives our location and times of service along with other UCC in the city). We don't sponsor a float in the gay pride parade - many of our members take part but do so as individuals rather than representing the church. We are not officially affirming.

We are working on becoming Affirming. It's a slow process but we are getting there. Once that happens we will have to push for promoting ourselves. Meanwhile, for gay and trans youth out there - you are most welcome in our church, if you can find us.
 
Great post Seeler. I think what you describe is likely quite common - doing well but not being visible about it. Not actively seeking publicity, not making noise in the wider community about our stance or activities, not getting out to make personal contact with groups that already exist.

Is it our 'humble, protestant don't draw attention to yourself, it's unseemly' ethic that works against us? Is it that 'build it & they will come' thinking? Build & wait - then see others at fault if they do not find us? Is it that we're just not good at talking about our faith? I don't know ... but lots of room for growth IMO.

I was thinking about this yesterday, when I was doing reading for GC42 on Migrant Church & proposed partnerships with churches of Korea & Phillipines. I was thinking about all the Fillipino caregivers - nannies, elder care people, nurses & health care providers - who live in & work in my community. I wondered if they have organized support groups. I wondered how we might reach out to these (mostly) women who have come alone to our country, leaving their own families behind. Seems a group we might engage with well. Don't mean to derail the thread - but thinking of another example of how we need to GET OUT of our buildings.
 
Waterfall - For LGBT kids? I'd start by doing internet search for any support/advocacy groups/newsletters in the neighbourhood. I'd also look at other local outreach groups for youth; local PFLAG group; the youth group in your own church - those kids likely know LGBT kids & could perhaps explore & connect. Host a round-table discussion at the church - invite community advocates, school board, public health, local councillor, police, to listen for potential issues and ways to be involved. EDGE has a useful format for organizing & hosting such round-tables. Just my 2 cents worth ... RitaTG, Jobam & others may have additional suggestions.
 
I like those suggestions, hopefully on the churches end they are also prepared should anyone show up. Seems to me the churches should also be fully educated before they extend the invitation, such as how does one make sure they aren't focusing on a person with a different orientation as their "poster child" rather than acquiring an attitude of seemless integration? How does one sincerely project this as normal and not offend?
 
I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions, sorry, but I'm thinking of churches taking on the "project" of an immigrant family. The church focuses on them, helps them integrate into society...all good stuff, but I've often wondered if this makes the family uncomfortable as well as grateful. I don't know???
 
Waterfall said:
I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions, sorry, but I'm thinking of churches taking on the "project" of an immigrant family. The church focuses on them, helps them integrate into society...all good stuff, but I've often wondered if this makes the family uncomfortable as well as grateful. I don't know???
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That's a good question Waterfall - may I suggest you start it as a new thread, so as to not derail this one from the church & LGBT kids focus - I'll join you there for more discussion. I imagine there are others here whose churches which have sponsored refugees etc and have thoughts to offer.
 
Waterfall said:
I like those suggestions, hopefully on the churches end they are also prepared should anyone show up. Seems to me the churches should also be fully educated before they extend the invitation, such as how does one make sure they aren't focusing on a person with a different orientation as their "poster child" rather than acquiring an attitude of seemless integration? How does one sincerely project this as normal and not offend?
Click to expand...


Fully educated churches ... ones that have a sense of knowledge that goes against the urge to run your system on emotions alone?

What an alien conception ... like a screwing over on the mountain ... daemons on the isle/hill ... one has to understand scattered allegories!
 
Inannawhimsey said:
i think it goes beyond just LBTQRSTLNEMP3withasideofmayo

women being shamed because they're women
men being ashamed of being men
westerners being ashamed of being western
white people being ashamed of being white
Liberals being ashamed...
i'm sure you can think of many others

Jesus & the Dalai Lama ferinstance didn't do their compassion etc thang by making ideas & thoughts & words illegal...they did it differently than human beings have done in the past...
Click to expand...

Men ashamed of being men?

Reminds me of the buddies of Red Green and their little prayer: "We are men, we are sorry.":)
 
I am pondering some of the questions and ideas brought up by Waterfall and everyone else....
Waterfall seems to condensed many of the thoughts down to a point where a some plans of action might be developed.
I will get back to everyone once I have mulled this over.
Thank you all for such a great discussion.
Hugs
Rita
 
When the discussion stops ... relative intercourse ends and silence prevails ...

Some say silence is ABBA'd omen ... ominous even as then characters screw around in the dark ... generate satyr! Stuff the paradigm doesn't know and thus fulfilling foresight ... and elimination of visionaries ... an old story! Supports naïveté ... or is that just plain ignorance ?
 
Carolla said:
That's a good question Waterfall - may I suggest you start it as a new thread, so as to not derail this one from the church & LGBT kids focus - I'll join you there for more discussion. I imagine there are others here whose churches which have sponsored refugees etc and have thoughts to offer.
Click to expand...
I think maybe waterfall meant to bring up the immigrant family as a comparison (? @Waterfall ) which is a good point, because that sort of poster-kid creating can happen if there is only one person from a particular marginalized or minority group who is somehow turned into a representative of an issue the church focuses on - or that could happen - even if the person doesn't want that role
 
Waterfall said:
I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions, sorry, but I'm thinking of churches taking on the "project" of an immigrant family. The church focuses on them, helps them integrate into society...all good stuff, but I've often wondered if this makes the family uncomfortable as well as grateful. I don't know???
Click to expand...
I feel that in at least some cases the church may be instilling into the family the feeling of a debt which they feel they may never be able to repay.
 
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