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Mrs. M's father passed away overnight (our time). Expected but still sad. I will call Little M later with the news (typical teenager and he has no reason to get up early since his summer courses are all evening classes). Funeral is on Saturday so she's staying another week. Tough to be so far apart at a time like this.
 
Mendalla said:
Mrs. M's father passed away overnight (our time). Expected but still sad. I will call Little M later with the news (typical teenager and he has no reason to get up early since his summer courses are all evening classes). Funeral is on Saturday so she's staying another week. Tough to be so far apart at a time like this.
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Sorry to hear, I'm glad she was already there.
 
Oooo Mendalla - condolences to your family. Yes, even when death is expected, it still can be difficult in so many ways. Does Mrs. M have other family over there too?
 
Carolla said:
Oooo Mendalla - condolences to your family. Yes, even when death is expected, it still can be difficult in so many ways. Does Mrs. M have other family over there too?
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They are pretty much all still in China save her and a couple of her first cousins who live in North America (her and one cousin in Ontario, another cousin Stateside). They aren't all in Shanghai anymore (eg. one branch of the family is in Beijing) but still in China.
 
It sounds like @Hilary could use some space here too. Think of you!
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Thanks, ChemGal.

Mr. Hilary and I have been working with a fertility clinic for as long as we've been married. A few weeks ago we were told that our final round of treatment was unsuccessful. We can't afford (financially, physically, nor emotionally) to continue to pursue treatment which means that we'll never be pregnant and never be parents.

We had a funeral/memorial service last night attended by the small number of our friends who had walked some of this journey with us. It was beautiful and moving. Afterwards, there was a reception with gluten-free carob chip cookies and white chocolate coconut blondies. There are leftovers, so I hope you'll all share them with me as I sit at home and begin to focus on what the rest of our lives will look like without parenthood in the cards.

I'm away from work on medical leave thanks to my caring and understanding team of health care professionals.
 
Hilary said:
Thanks, ChemGal.

Mr. Hilary and I have been working with a fertility clinic for as long as we've been married. A few weeks ago we were told that our final round of treatment was unsuccessful. We can't afford (financially, physically, nor emotionally) to continue to pursue treatment which means that we'll never be pregnant and never be parents.

We had a funeral/memorial service last night attended by the small number of our friends who had walked some of this journey with us. It was beautiful and moving. Afterwards, there was a reception with gluten-free carob chip cookies and white chocolate coconut blondies. There are leftovers, so I hope you'll all share them with me as I sit at home and begin to focus on what the rest of our lives will look like without parenthood in the cards.

I'm away from work on medical leave thanks to my caring and understanding team of health care professionals.
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I'm glad you're able to get a leave for a little bit to do what you need for yourself. The service was a great idea, it sounds like you were surrounded by caring people, plus I imagine it will shut down some questions for those who may be a little more clueless.
 
aaah, @Hilary . I am sorry to hear that but thankful that you have friends to support you.

a quiet place for you is offered here. If I say something boorish or just unthinking in the weeks, months, years ahead, please do let me know. I can be trained.
 
(((((Hilary and Mr))))). It is so sad when people want kids and can't conceive. Hoping your support is serious about staying around for quite some time.
 
People can be insensitive but always remember that this is the place to

come for comfort. Blessings to you both.
 
Hugs to you Hilary and a gentle suggestion that biological parenthood is not the only way to have children in your lives. Big Brothers/big sisters have certainly enriched my family. I also have friends who have adopted, or fostered to adopt, each with unique stories. Here's to a rich life for you and your husband however it unfolds.
 
Or my godparents, who were both teachers, one at the high school level, one at the College level. They couldn't have children. They loved kids, and changed the lives of so many. They ended up, quite a bit later in life, adopting a 15 year old LGBTQ teen, rejected by her bio parents, still disturbingly common back then.

Also, gentle hugs, sorry. We create family in so many different ways.
 
Dear Hilary - I'm glad you were able to gather with your friends to mark this time of grieving, that you are not alone in this time of transition. A lovely and healing idea to hold a service in that respect. Glad you are taking some time off work. Be gentle with yourself, and lean into the love around you as you journey through this time.
 
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