Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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I once knew a man who enjoyed mangos. One day I asked him, "Why do you enjoy mangos?" And he replied, "I have to eat what stuff actually is."
 
I once knew a man who enjoyed mangos. One day I asked him, "Why do you enjoy mangos?" And he replied, "I have to eat what stuff actually is."

Can one consume the insubstantial ... twere nothing ... just thought! Twiddled or tweeted ... mostly mist ... supporting mystical conjectures ... beyond fixation and status quo ... like lighter gods ... Hermes? Spatial je ster ...

You did know that in ancient tongues "je" was like "AE" and ayers ...
 
George Clooney: " Nothing is ... ever the woman's fault!"

Also: "Give your kids enough money to start ... but not enough for them to do ... nothing?"

Ar's ohm adept at nothing ... what a pit ... mine know'n conflict? Go' tabe a'moor tuit ... beyond the Circe! Fuzzy? You bet ... across that clouded mire ... so much!
 
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a
nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
 
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a
nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”

Well don meis UN ... that'll carve out a niche somewhere ...
 
Distant hu' miss ... is it a conflict when oligarchy goes against demos? Does cause a tempest in the great house Souers and all!

Cisterns ... a place for what passes ... kind of like a cosmological psyche out there collecting concepts on what goes on below ... and thus reversed through the lens in occipital regions ... deep? Psi -O' logical ... nun here?
 
A nun, gets up in the morning and leaves her room and walks down the corridor.
Another nun looks at her and says with a sly grin, "you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning."
She then passes another nun who says, "you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning didn't you?"
This happens 15 more times as she walks down the hall and by then she's livid.
She then sees the Mother Superior walking towards her. The Mother Superior is just about to open her mouth, when the nun stops her by yelling, "DON'T TELL ME THAT I GOT OUT OF THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED THIS MORNING!!!"
And the Mother Superior says, " I wasn't going to say that. I was just going to ask you why you're wearing the bishops shoes?"
 
Just ran across this on Facebook...

"I was charged with a speeding violation. I retained Giuliani as my lawyer, and he got the charges reduced to second degree murder.

A good one ... or metaphorically an excellent singularity ... yet sometimes a singularity is nothing to ignore ...
 
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no no, you don't understand" said the man.
"I NEED to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."
 
from stephen colbert
"i have a fair amount of gay friends but sometimes...
i worry that i havent made enough gay enemies"
 
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