Room For All

Welcome to Wondercafe2!

A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!

Register Log in
chansen said:
It so happens there was another family in the children's hospital with a child in similar condition. The families were aware of one another, but they didn't speak much. The chilling thing was after the decision was made, the mother of this other child approached the deciding family and offered, "You know you're going to hell, right?"
Click to expand...


Honestly? I'll bet they were struggling and saw their faith as the only to get through it so they doubled down on that faith to the extent of turning against others who didn't share that faith or behave as they would. IOW, I think it was a horrible thing to say and would have told her so to her face, but I can kind of see where it might be coming from.
 
chansen said:
So my wife is still going with my daughter to a grief support group. Kids do their time upstairs, parents downstairs in a moderated session of their own. I can't hack it.

A new family showed up. Never a fun time. They share what they can, when they feel like it. They lost their infant at less than one year, to a form of spinal muscular atrophy, similar to ALS. The muscles waste away. Eventually the child has to be put on a ventilator, where they could languish for years before dying. There is no cure.

Once the disease has progressed to a certain point, the subject of how long the parents want to keep the ventilator on is approached. We've had similar discussions in the past about Carter. It kills you to even discuss it.

This set of parents, after a time, consented to the removal of the ventilator. I can understand their position that life on a ventilator, unable to move, is not a life. I can't say I would have taken a different position.

It so happens there was another family in the children's hospital with a child in similar condition. The families were aware of one another, but they didn't speak much. The chilling thing was after the decision was made, the mother of this other child approached the deciding family and offered, "You know you're going to hell, right?"

This stuff just eats at me. There are so many stories of what people say to the parents of dead or medically fragile children, but that's up there, coming from someone who you would think would understand.
Click to expand...

Sad to hear this. Having a child in such a situation must be exquisitely painful, and that pain gets shared out/leaks out in so many ways ... as I imagine happened here. Tragic all the way around.
 
chansen said:
It so happens there was another family in the children's hospital with a child in similar condition. The families were aware of one another, but they didn't speak much. The chilling thing was after the decision was made, the mother of this other child approached the deciding family and offered, "You know you're going to hell, right?"
Click to expand...


No excuse or defence for that. No matter how strong or confident you are in your faith.

That said, words spoken in grief do not necessarily represent who this family is.

If all of us have our measure taken at our lowest point I would expect few to come out smelling even vaguely of roses.

It is a horrible and unfortunate intersection since there is no real connection between these families it probably doesn't scar as it might.

Two families are grieving and one, at the very least, handled their grief poorly.

It doesn't mean that all people's of faith will react or even manage to think the same way. It is a black mark on the communal witness of the body of Christ, it won't be the final and decisive qualifier.

Pastorally speaking, who the hell cares what some ignoramus says and how does that ignoramus impact upon the healing process.

The impact is not favourable. Which makes it useless rubbish. Throw it away. Swimming in the sea of grief is hard enough without lugging the lead weights of somebody else's ignorant judgment.

And while the rest of us can rage at the injustice and callous thoughtlessness of the statement none of that helps the family who is grieving.

They should be the priority.

Eventually the judgmental family is going to find themselves swimming in the same sea of grief. Hopefully they can do that without folk throwing rocks at them.

 
When my daughter was very ill I often mentioned the excellent care and support she was receiving from the doctors, nurses and support staff at the hospital, and the support we got from neighbours, friends, and our church - both practical (meals and driving) and through prayer. I was criticized (on WC1) for claiming I was helped by knowing that people were praying for us - that I should give all my gratitude to the medical people. That hurt.
 
Did I tell you that I am in San Diego? Weather is nice. Hovering between 17 & 20. Supposed to go to 26 this weekend.
I am working very long days, but, I have wonderful glass doors onto a balcony & i have left them open all day, every day, and even into the evening.
A couple of bugs have made it in, but, not many. I was concerned about a raven that looked interested in entering.

I have had giggles, laughs and sadness in the evenings with my sister.
Her husband's uncle died on Wed as a result of a car accident Tuesday evening. The one aunt is in serious condition. More relatives are also hurt. Very sad. Hard to be away from family when death occurs.

On the highs of the week was related to work at Five Oaks that hopefully I can soon share with you.

On the "oh no" was a message from Crazyheart's granddaughter Sarah was not well. Starting that post for her had my heart in my throat.

peace to you all this night.
 
Had an appointment today for a prescription for mouthwash for a dental appointment. Didn't realize how soon that was coming up and couldn't fill it with all the others anyway as it needs to be made close to the appointment date.

Not my usual doctor, although he could have been. I first met him on his first day, not much as improved. I dunno if he went to a place that encouraged them to take time with their patients or something. Making sure I don't have questions is great. Going over a ton of stuff and asking me a bunch of questions about the medication isn't. I was with him for 25 minutes to get a prescription - of which I had clearly written down exactly what was needed, percent, volume, etc. and then get some previous test results as they didn't seem to be accessible from other clinics.

I clearly know more than this guy about all of my medications and conditions. I distrust him a bit - he believes in prescribing antibiotics for viruses more than say tamiflu for influenza. We're probably about the same age but he uses condensding words/body language. Today it was a weird few pats on my shoulder as I left. I don't know if this is done for him to still himself above me or what.

Also annoyed as I got called this morning to come in 30 minutes early only to wait a few minutes before my original time. Was there for an hour.

Anyone for those with chronic conditions who are good at knowing what's needed/when they need to actually see a doctor being given their own prescription pad? Or even an ongoing ability to order refills would be good. I could have called my hematologist's clinic for it, but they often end up sending it to the university hospital pharmacy and they fax but it never seems to send the first time. At least with the clinic I went to the pharmacist is right there.
 
Ahhh ... the joys of big systems eh ChemGal? Glad you at least finally got what you went for. You'd be a good person to have on patient advocacy panels. I wish all patients were as knowledgeable and capable as you are.

On a lighter note - I went off to a "ladies lunch" today - birthday celebration for a neighbour who is turning 70 tomorrow. It was so lovely! About 30 women, of ages up to 95 :-) It was hosted at a friend's gracious historic home in downtown Toronto - what an amazing place, so beautifully designed and lovingly decorated to honour its historic roots.

Soon I'm off to euchre - so another gathering of interesting women that is guaranteed to be a lot of fun!

I think there is an antique & collectibles show in Elora tomorrow, so we might wander off there to poke around. Just looking tho, not purchasing - at least that is the plan! The weather looks nice for a little jaunt into the countryside.

Hoping others have some things lined up that will bring you some joy.
 
Where did all this snow come from? Why? Why now?
A few inches Thursday morning made the day dreary; but it melted.
Now I wake up and look out. At least six inches of sticky, heavy, wet snow covering everything (including my crocuses).

I know. It's because a lot of people around here removed their snow tires last week when the temp was in the teens and we thought it was spring.
 
Seeler said:
Where did all this snow come from? Why? Why now?
A few inches Thursday morning made the day dreary; but it melted.
Now I wake up and look out. At least six inches of sticky, heavy, wet snow covering everything (including my crocuses).

I know. It's because a lot of people around here removed their snow tires last week when the temp was in the teens and we thought it was spring.
Click to expand...

Bear up ... the god's allow snow's hit ... and it's pure blanchee ... angel's wriggle in it ...

Auguring in to await spring ... a long way off, or ...
 
Winter didn't starthere until the first of February. i am wondering if we are have a climate change related shift of the seasons.
 
Feeling happier than ever about where I work. My boss is marking 20 years with the company this year and we had a dinner in his honour last night. It was the senior executives (5 including him) and his direct reports (3 of us) plus some spouses. Nice dinner (at the Idlewyld Inn, a beautiful old mansion built in the 1870s by a man who later served in Laurier's cabinet and restored about three years ago by a prominent local developer) and a couple hours of just chatting about families, travels, and anything other than work. Thankful that I am in a workplace where I can have a friendly, no pressure social evening with my colleagues.
 
Feeling sad and had a bit of a cry.
I think I mentioned that I re-routed my travel plans last summer to visit a long time friend in Edmonton with cancer. We spent most of a day together, hospital lab appointment for him, lunch, and a visit.

He seemed in remission this fall but he died this morning.He was 61.

I've known him since 79. Our oldest kids are 1 month apart in age-and graduated high school together. Long time Naramata attender.
We met through a church young adult group. He used to have his pilot's license and once took me and 2 of the kids I worked with up for a flight.
We danced together-a whole group of us regularly went social dancing.
So for years at Naramata dance I'd make sure to get a few dances in with him, as we were good and knew all the same moves and leads.
He helped me move when I left my marriage. And no we never had a romance but sometimes long time friends know you the best.

Anyhow haven't seen him since last summer but feeling satisfied that I went and we had time to talk, and I had sent him a card. He appreciated that and so did I. I had a feeling I wouldn't see him again, but of course did not share that.

Once they figure out when the funeral is I'll see if I can go.
 
Long time friends are so hard to lose - they leave a big hole in your heart. Sad to hear of your friend's death today Tabitha. You've had many losses in recent months, it seems a particularly difficult time. Sending gentle thoughts your way for peaceful days filled with fond memories.
 
Losing a friend is tough - sorry you are dealing with this Tabitha. It was good you were able to spend some time together a while back. I think it is great when two people can be friends without setting up as a couple. Sending gentle thoughts your way.
 
Flip your UCC calendars ahead to July and see the church photo there.
Think of me.
I will be leading worship there at 10:00 am.
I'd better get dressed. It's a 25 minute drive in good conditions. There was water over the road (the river almost at flood level) on Friday. It's gone down a bit now but water will be lapping at the edges of the pavement between this church and the other point of the charge.

Back to this church - it is one of the oldest UCC (formerly Methodist) still in use in Canada. Beautiful church with several unique features.
 
Sorry to hear of your friend Tabitha.
Seeler, I hope you had a great worship service!

Having a rough morning here, haven't made it downstairs yet. I wasn't feeling super great yesterday though and went out to play games with friends. They have 2 dogs, I'm sure I must have looked like I was afraid of dogs to someone I hadn't met before. I was more afraid of being knocked over or something by the dogs though, not afraid of the dogs themselves. Getting there, I needed Chemguy to help me in and out of the truck. I have a bruise on my thigh now. While the dogs were jumping up the bigger of the 2 was fairly gently about it if that makes any sense. Shows that my body in general isn't up to doing things normally - body is matching how I feel. It's sort of comforting in some way, external proof. HAE isn't be the total issue though, so makes me wonder what's going on. By tomorrow should be feeling better, so at least I know there's a pattern where I get good days in.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top