Someone suggested a joke thread............................

[You just never know]

Why don't blind people go skydiving?

Because it scares the crap out of their dogs!

 

[Tabitha]

along the same lines...
There was a visitor from Australia-a friend of our dear Pilgrim- He was at a traffic light. "Why does it beep?" he asked. "Oh so the blind know when the light has changed" replied the Canadian.

"Blimey-we just don't let them drive Down Under".

 

[You just never know]

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

 

[Seeler]

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

Dark humour - it took me a moment to get that.

 

[Luce NDs]

Dark humour - it took me a moment to get that.

Could there be such a thing as it is said the revered blackness is absence? Thus when as leap ... we are out of reality for refreshment of the sublime portion of mind ... allowing its nomadic nature ... pure essence of wondering ... like sugar plums on Christmas Eve's ... a shadow of sectarian activity trying to escape apparent reality! Virtue all domains outlandish to the complex ... or what realists suffer to deny ... the aspiration of something better for God ... the integral psyche ... an eternal power that is week in mortal bode an ... thus illusion AL life passes ... some mist the point of know return! Thus that foggy sensation when out of present state ... some prefer not to return ... aboriginal drift?

Could be that mule in Walter Brenan's rendition .. of old rivers ... and the mule was Midnight ... that Black Hoers syndrome ... syncretic harmonic? Virtual AU*Mere ... yeast 'rn epistemology! Unknown due to fear of alien word ... God sign in the trees? Tres bon ...

 

[Mendalla]

Who fills cats' stockings at Christmas?

Spoiler: Answer

Santa Claws

What do you call a cat walking in a desert?

Spoiler: Answer

Sandy Claws

What are the wettest land animals?

Spoiler: Answer

Rain-deer

 

[Mendalla]

A little Christmas weirdness courtesy of Randall Munro

 

[Luce NDs]

Tis the Munroe effect ... just as weird as mortal to outlanders ...

 

[You just never know]

Why is Christmas just like your job?

You do all the work and a fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!

 

[Luce NDs]

Then after climbing out of what we call flue ... the soot creates sparks in the strangest of mangers ... what now are Heh lofts ...

The aught Eire still rises to the call ... of the Kohl dark mysterious zone ... twilight of the sol?

 

[You just never know]

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."

Alas, John came fifth, and won a toaster.

 

[You just never know]

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.

The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"

"Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."

 

[Luce NDs]

Bank it ... drive him as ur ... or as the urge tends ...

 

[paradox3]

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

 

[Luce NDs]

Pun Kin eaters?

 

[You just never know]

I crossed a vampire with a snowman.


Ended up with frostbite.

 

[Luce NDs]

Kohl nibble from the darker side of Sophie! The nights are getting shorter ...

 

[You just never know]

Kohl nibble from the darker side of Sophie! The nights are getting shorter ...

Said the spider to the fly.

 

[Luce NDs]

Said the spider to the fly.

Tis enough to cause one to look for escape ... thus the subtle powers created dreams ... some sounds of silence required as pre requisite ... thus nano structures as bread fruit for the mind ... the grim reaper of human experience in an emotional dimension.

Some extreme balance may be required to stay in the midst of 2 polities ... leading to obscure expressions as forms on the Wahl! Mysticism?

 

[Carolla]

Not quite a joke - but pretty funny - at least to me, who's had computer pointers from my kids many years ago! Was going to put it in health & aging, but then thought I might catch flack for ageism ... so here you go ..