Wondercafe Participation
- Thread starter Pinga
- Start date
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revsdd
Well-Known Member
I would agree that "pricks" was not the best way to engage in discussion on the issue.
I agree it wasn't the best way to express myself. "You're not being reasonable" didn't match my feelings at the time but it would've been a better choice of words given that I was in a subordinate position.
I think I used that word after I had pleaded my point and it was sloughed off. Not in trying to make my point.
Mrs.Anteater
Just keep going....
I don’t see an announcement that you are banned from the thread, kimmio. I did see that two posts were moved. I don’t really see it necessary to move those, my impression was rather that kimmio was going off topic by slashing out at the boomers in the covid thread, blaming them for about everything evil including covid. THAT, if it had been going on for a couple more pages, would have called for a different ( new ) thread.
I could not find anything else with regards to conspiracy theory. Maybe that was confused with the conspiracy theory sidetrack in the other covid thread ( the personal one), which was actually done by Rita, not kimmio.
So, if anybody is banned from any thread, I would expect this being made public in that thread. Likely in purple.
On the hand, kimmio ,you have said “ bye” on several occasions lately, which is not the same as being banned.
There is no announcement. I was banned from it because I am locked out of it. I was...haven't checked in an hour or so.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
Yes, it now rather appears to be more about "why I get pissed off and how I behave when I do...", which respectfully, Pinga, I think was not your original intent.
PG 13 and blackbelt have both gone, it appears, as well, without dramatic goodbyes. And YJNK only shows up occasionally, mainly on the joke thread.
PG 13 and blackbelt have both gone, it appears, as well, without dramatic goodbyes. And YJNK only shows up occasionally, mainly on the joke thread.
Still banned. It sort of impedes participation. I'm guessing northwind went with the impulse to ban it with no announcement. But I could be wrong. The others involved would normally announce it.
It's related to how we feel about participation here.
Northwind
Stationary nomad.
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
It was not me. I step back from moderating when you are involved because we have had interactions.
Pinga
Room for All
Nancy, it is interesting regarding hurting folks.
I have hurt folks here, and in other locations in part as I was held to confidentiality.
It's sometimes a damned if I do, and damned if I don't. I try to help the person who feels injured look through a different lens, hoping they might be able to discern that their presumptions are wrong; however, that doesn't work , especially if the person is passionate or i am doing a shitty job at redirection.
Nancy
Well-Known Member
Now this may sound corny but....I was deeply hurt by people at my church several years ago. The other people were in positions of authority and I was not, so I just walked away from the situation. (I believe I was the wronged party, but that is my perception). And...I really did rely on God to help me through my feelings. After a few years, the main person and I have become friends, with a common interest in reading. We have joined a book club together, and we trade books back and forth. We don't talk about the hurtful past...We don't need to. We have moved on. There's something called 'wait time' which is highly valuable. It helped me develop a friendship.
I have done the same...but you can still have heated back and forth with people you care about and move on - even if they're frequent. I'm pissed off does not equal I hate you. I've been through Christmas dinners with otherwise civil people, calling each other a-holes over politics, and we leave it at that the next day. Maybe we do think each other are a-holes regarding our viewpoints on some but not all things. It's honest. Agreeing to disagree doesn't always feel honest. I'd rather be called names than banned from discussion. I can take it.
Sometimes being on the outs with fair weather friends is far less consequential than the consequences of not sticking with your values. In the end, it's because one feels that the thing they care so much about is going to hurt far more people - including the person who you're arguing with in the long run, even worse than losing the friendship.
Climate change will be far more harmful to everybody than the little disagreements I have on a forum. Sucks for me in the short term though.
Climate change will be far more harmful to everybody than the little disagreements I have on a forum. Sucks for me in the short term though.
Sucks to be a big picture values driven person rather than a personal happiness driven person. We get the short end.
In earlier adulthood I used to make friends with everybody and trusted everybody.,,which is not necessarily wise. Often those more dominant took me under their wing/ into their shadow...and I subsumed/ invested my own identity into theirs, or sought their approval/ validation just so I'd have lots of people to hang around with. Then later I realized thst real friends are rare and they don't depend on the condition you of you never showing your less congenial self to them. You don't have to accept being bossed around, either.
Pinga
Room for All
As a result of a conversation re a sermon, we talked about caricatures.
How we can turn people into a caricature, focussing on one aspect instead of recognizing they are a whole person, with history and motivation which not only do I not know, but are truly none of my business.i wonder, Nancy, when we focus on an aspect if that is what is happening.
I like that you were able to find common ground