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Northwind

Still knitting. Walking the path to health.
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To be clear, calling people pricks is not a good way to make your point. I appreciate the point @revsdd made and the way he made it. Making a reasoned rebuttal will be more effective than swearing and calling people names.
 
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I agree it wasn't the best way to express myself. "You're not being reasonable" didn't match my feelings at the time but it would've been a better choice of words given that I was in a subordinate position.
 

Mrs.Anteater

Just keep going....
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Uhm, people are replying to my posts on the covid thread that I have been banned from participating in. That's not right.
I don’t see an announcement that you are banned from the thread, kimmio. I did see that two posts were moved. I don’t really see it necessary to move those, my impression was rather that kimmio was going off topic by slashing out at the boomers in the covid thread, blaming them for about everything evil including covid. THAT, if it had been going on for a couple more pages, would have called for a different ( new ) thread.
I could not find anything else with regards to conspiracy theory. Maybe that was confused with the conspiracy theory sidetrack in the other covid thread ( the personal one), which was actually done by Rita, not kimmio.
So, if anybody is banned from any thread, I would expect this being made public in that thread. Likely in purple.
On the hand, kimmio ,you have said “ bye” on several occasions lately, which is not the same as being banned.
 
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There is no announcement. I was banned from it because I am locked out of it. I was...haven't checked in an hour or so.
 

BetteTheRed

Resident Heretic
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Yes, it now rather appears to be more about "why I get pissed off and how I behave when I do...", which respectfully, Pinga, I think was not your original intent.

PG 13 and blackbelt have both gone, it appears, as well, without dramatic goodbyes. And YJNK only shows up occasionally, mainly on the joke thread.
 
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Still banned. It sort of impedes participation. I'm guessing northwind went with the impulse to ban it with no announcement. But I could be wrong. The others involved would normally announce it.
 

Pinga

Room for All
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Oh, I'm sorry to hear that they are gone. if only as they drove traffic in religion.
 
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Yes, it now rather appears to be more about "why I get pissed off and how I behave when I do...", which respectfully, Pinga, I think was not your original intent.

PG 13 and blackbelt have both gone, it appears, as well, without dramatic goodbyes. And YJNK only shows up occasionally, mainly on the joke thread.
It's related to how we feel about participation here.
 

Pinga

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respectfully, your questions regarding a specific thread could have been put in "council business", as it is a question for the moderators.
Far from it, though, for me to question your posting style.
 

Pinga

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I've been thinking about this last statement of mine....about knowingly hurting someone. The knowing part is true, but I don't do it for the purpose of causing hurt. Instead, I have hurt people because of a particular cause or opinion that is important to me, and I know that my expression or action is going to cause hurt...but I NEED to do it. This has happened so often in my position on the board of our church camp. I try to say things kindly, or reasonably, and finally I just dish it out rather harshly. And sometimes the harshly is what finally gets listened to.
Nancy, it is interesting regarding hurting folks.
I have hurt folks here, and in other locations in part as I was held to confidentiality.
It's sometimes a damned if I do, and damned if I don't. I try to help the person who feels injured look through a different lens, hoping they might be able to discern that their presumptions are wrong; however, that doesn't work , especially if the person is passionate or i am doing a s**tty job at redirection.
 

Nancy

Well-Known Member
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Now this may sound corny but....I was deeply hurt by people at my church several years ago. The other people were in positions of authority and I was not, so I just walked away from the situation. (I believe I was the wronged party, but that is my perception). And...I really did rely on God to help me through my feelings. After a few years, the main person and I have become friends, with a common interest in reading. We have joined a book club together, and we trade books back and forth. We don't talk about the hurtful past...We don't need to. We have moved on. There's something called 'wait time' which is highly valuable. It helped me develop a friendship.
 
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I have done the same...but you can still have heated back and forth with people you care about and move on - even if they're frequent. I'm pissed off does not equal I hate you. I've been through Christmas dinners with otherwise civil people, calling each other a-holes over politics, and we leave it at that the next day. Maybe we do think each other are a-holes regarding our viewpoints on some but not all things. It's honest. Agreeing to disagree doesn't always feel honest. I'd rather be called names than banned from discussion. I can take it.
 
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Sometimes being on the outs with fair weather friends is far less consequential than the consequences of not sticking with your values. In the end, it's because one feels that the thing they care so much about is going to hurt far more people - including the person who you're arguing with in the long run, even worse than losing the friendship.

Climate change will be far more harmful to everybody than the little disagreements I have on a forum. Sucks for me in the short term though.
 
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In earlier adulthood I used to make friends with everybody and trusted everybody.,,which is not necessarily wise. Often those more dominant took me under their wing/ into their shadow...and I subsumed/ invested my own identity into theirs, or sought their approval/ validation just so I'd have lots of people to hang around with. Then later I realized thst real friends are rare and they don't depend on the condition you of you never showing your less congenial self to them. You don't have to accept being bossed around, either.
 

Pinga

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Now this may sound corny but....I was deeply hurt by people at my church several years ago. The other people were in positions of authority and I was not, so I just walked away from the situation. (I believe I was the wronged party, but that is my perception). And...I really did rely on God to help me through my feelings. After a few years, the main person and I have become friends, with a common interest in reading. We have joined a book club together, and we trade books back and forth. We don't talk about the hurtful past...We don't need to. We have moved on. There's something called 'wait time' which is highly valuable. It helped me develop a friendship.
As a result of a conversation re a sermon, we talked about caricatures.

How we can turn people into a caricature, focussing on one aspect instead of recognizing they are a whole person, with history and motivation which not only do I not know, but are truly none of my business.i wonder, Nancy, when we focus on an aspect if that is what is happening.

I like that you were able to find common ground
 
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