Someone suggested a joke thread............................

[Delightful Life]

Cogitohazard!
DONT LOOK!




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[Delightful Life]

Here's one for oh soooo long ago during that total lockdown period in 2020



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[Luce NDs]

Cogitohazard!
DONT LOOK!


View attachment 7141

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Thus sacred sign linguistics as a means to hide Gnostic order ... an underground resigning from that organization that was up ... so inked! Blinking difficult to interpret if you hate words as laid down ...

 

[ninj]

 

[ninj]

What kind of prize do you give to someone who hasn't moved a muscle on over a year?
A trophy.

 

[Redbaron]

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

What kind of prize do you give to someone who hasn't moved a muscle on over a year?
A trophy.

Ouch

 

[ninj]

 

[Carolla]

(just to be clear - I personally did NOT fall down any stairs!)

 

[BetteTheRed]

 

[Redbaron]

There's a new James Bond film coming out, where the villain is a cruel, vindictive proctologist.

It will be called "Coldfinger."

 

[Mendalla]

There's a lot of good Bond character name jokes possible. Some of the character names are already wordplay in and of themselves (including Goldfinger).

 

[Redbaron]

All my friends and family mocked me when I said I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up.

Well, I got into the business! No one's laughing now!

 

[ninj]

My teachers always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate too much, but I said, "Just you wait!".

 

[Redbaron]

How do locomotives know where they are going?

Lots of training.

.

 

[Redbaron]

 

[Redbaron]

What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with an angry cow?

You get two animals who are in a baaaaaaaad moooooooed.

ducks and runs

 

[Mendalla]

View attachment 7252

A similar joke that I picked up from either Cracked or Mad back in the eighties:

Kirk notices Spock tiptoeing towards the ladies' room.

Kirk: Spock. What ... are ... you doing?

Spock: Captain, I am following our mission statement. I am boldly going where no man has gone before.

(drumroll)

 

[Redbaron]

I tried to call the Tinnitus Hotline, but it just kept ringing and ringing....

 

[ninj]

I tried to call the Tinnitus Hotline, but it just kept ringing and ringing....