Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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Astronomy humour. You know I love it. Courtesy of xkcd, of course.

barnards_star.png


And I know that if a joke needs explaining, it's not funny but this one is a chance to drop a few facts about stars.

Barnard's Star is a red dwarf, our sun is a G-type main sequence yellow dwarf.

Main sequence stars go through a life cycle, and our sun is about middle aged. It will eventually "die", becoming a huge red giant, then collapsing into a white dwarf. Earth will not survive this process, by the way, but we have 4-ish billion years before it becomes an issue.

Red dwarfs do not go through such a process. They are small, slow burning stars that date to early in the universe's history (astronomers estimate Barnard's Star to be between 7 and 12 billion years old, vs. the sun's 4.5 billion) and will possibly be the last stars burning before the heat death of the universe.
 
Be fretful about red stars ... as embers they could burn their way into the Go Lem ... a high-bruin expression about the dirt on fallout of the heart ... core humus? Beyond that the Jinn something to be cottened as to essence ... another fabrication?

Be concerned about people in filthy rags ... they need connections with those that can assist ... and are aware of the whines from adepts ... points of adda?

Then there is that sly gnawing at your heels as a weak spot ... off'n mouth disease should be attended too ... Cat hearing ...
 
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Ah. This explains everything.

>> On the first day, God created
>> the dog and said,
>> "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
>> who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life
>> span of twenty years."
>>
>> The dog said,
>> "That's a long time to be barking. How about
>> only ten years and I'll give you back the other
>> ten?"
>> And God said that it was good.
>>
>> On the second day, God created
>> the monkey and said,
>> "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.. For
>> this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
>>
>> The monkey said,
>> "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty
>> long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the
>> dog did?"
>>
>> And God again said that it was
>> good.
>>
>> On the third day, God created
>> the cow and said,
>> "You must go into the field with the farmer all day
>> long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to
>> support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a
>> life span of sixty years."
>>
>> The cow said,
>> "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
>> for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the
>> other forty?"
>> And God agreed it was good.
>>
>> On the fourth day, God created
>> humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy
>> your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
>>
>> But the human said,
>> "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
>> twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave
>> back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty,
>> okay?
>>
>> "Okay," said God,
>> "You asked for it."
>>
>> So that is why for our first
>> twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For
>> the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our
>> family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to
>> entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we
>> sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
>>
>> Life has now been explained to
>> you.
>> There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
>> I'm doing it as a public service.
>> If you are looking for
>> me, I will be on the front
>> porch.
 
Redbaron said:
Ah. This explains everything.

>> On the first day, God created
>> the dog and said,
>> "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
>> who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life
>> span of twenty years."
>>
>> The dog said,
>> "That's a long time to be barking. How about
>> only ten years and I'll give you back the other
>> ten?"
>> And God said that it was good.
>>
>> On the second day, God created
>> the monkey and said,
>> "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.. For
>> this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
>>
>> The monkey said,
>> "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty
>> long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the
>> dog did?"
>>
>> And God again said that it was
>> good.
>>
>> On the third day, God created
>> the cow and said,
>> "You must go into the field with the farmer all day
>> long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to
>> support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a
>> life span of sixty years."
>>
>> The cow said,
>> "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
>> for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the
>> other forty?"
>> And God agreed it was good.
>>
>> On the fourth day, God created
>> humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy
>> your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
>>
>> But the human said,
>> "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
>> twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave
>> back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty,
>> okay?
>>
>> "Okay," said God,
>> "You asked for it."
>>
>> So that is why for our first
>> twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For
>> the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our
>> family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to
>> entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we
>> sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
>>
>> Life has now been explained to
>> you.
>> There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
>> I'm doing it as a public service.
>> If you are looking for
>> me, I will be on the front
>> porch.
Click to expand...

Does give us some understanding about the skin 've the tree of wisdom ... drips with sapiens as a strange suite!

Causes eager creatures to gnaw ... that feeling ...
 
A first-grader went to an ophthalmology office to have his vision checked. He sat down and the doctor turned off the lights.

The ophthalmologist then switched on a projector that flashed the letters F, Z and B on a screen. She then asked the boy what he saw.

Without hesitation he replied, "Consonants!"
 
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"Okay, you're up," the genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
 
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