Someone suggested a joke thread............................

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Tabitha said:
The Church of Saint Squirrel
August 26, 2018
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel problem. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.

They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
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Reminds me of this one:

Q. How does a church get rid of bats in the belfry?
A. Baptises the bats and they are never seen again.
 
Humour is like that in a seriously arid church environment ... and water being the essence required to float a soul!

Resembles a bubble in an alien land free of allegory ... thus floats off?
 
You just never know said:
Well Luce, you are the last one I would think of as speaking easy! :ROFLMAO:
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One is not to leave themselves vulnerable to brute powers ... thus tough myths ... they are in the bag ... a dural thingy!

Then there are stones that don;t know when to break down and share ... tis a hard stew! Stone Soup really baffled out congregation as they are not well versed in allegory about great fetes ... Bigfoot? Poe My sole ...
 
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks the Pope who he is.

The Pope : I am the Pope.

St. Peter: Who? There's no such name in my book.

The Pope : I'm the representative of God on Earth.

St. Peter: Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me...

The Pope : But I am the leader of the Catholic Church...

St. Peter: The Catholic church... Never heard of it... Wait, I'll check with the boss.

St. Peter walks away trough Heaven's Gate to talk with God.

St. Peter: There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth.

God : I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of... Wait, I'll ask Jesus.

(yells for Jesus)

Jesus : Yes father, what's up?

God and St. Peter explain the situation.

Jesus : Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow.

Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.

Jesus : Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists.
 
The King Fissure Retains Power on the Great Void ... some world leaders rush to get control of it as if it is nothing ...

Thus we get sucked into that thing overhead! Tis ethereal ... even vacuous in essence!
 
Some spoilers if you haven't seen the Black Panther movie.

Put this in the category of it could be staged, but if it is I don't want to know. I just want it to be true!
 
If unknown ... are thing snot untrue and thus the basis of false news ... stuff we don;t wish to know ... and thus the spatial state off ignorance ... where few know anything ... considered heaven where the minds are vacant ... a state of ignorance when such relatable crisis occur ... mind blowing!

Nose hit ... more stunning as cross over ... or when passover during the dishing out of intelligence ... tragic comedy !
 
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
 
Words bi God are strange things ... today I heard an authority speak of paper as non-organic ... thus an out-liver?

Not alive at present but a carrier of ideals ... some total failures if processed adequately ... imagine total elimination to the last 1 standing as a 2's've a thing ... cong elation?

Abstract capture ... as darkness sinks to a point ... during the period the point gets ugly ... c'est fini ... or IT is finished! From there it gets emotional and chaotic ...
 
Someone once argued with me that Davy Crockett was a Scot.

I said, "No, he was 'born on a mountain top in Tennessee' so he must have been an American."

"But," the other guy argued, "He kilt him a bear when he was only three."

Now I want to hear the Davy Crockett theme played on bagpipes.:D
 
Ritafee said:
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
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This is a very long thread but we might have had this one already!
 
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