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Good morning! Hope the weekend is off to a good start for all. The coffee cart is functioning well. All is ready, come on down and drop in for a bit.

C(_)/ c\_/ c[_] c(_)
 
Co fey ... two flighty essences ... potentially emotions and intellect separated by fear on one part ...

A view from within what's out there ... innate outage or shortfall in the larger image?

Obviously a peculiar thing not considered ordinarily as part of psyche .... said to be non-existent! I don't know about that either ... I am directed in early scripture that knowledge is evil ... I'm trying to get over it! I even feel feint ...
 
Maybe a ghost of my former self ... self being something else ... the alternate self?

Should we stop and examine it in the ditch?
 
Quiet weekend ahead, I think. The work I had been saving for the weekend (some annual housecleaning and cutting the grass) got done over the last couple days since our plans for my week off kind of fell through. We do have a movie we want to watch (a recommendation from a book by a UCCan minister no less) but otherwise, no plans.
 
Good morning. We'll be enjoying a pancake breakfast at this event for our brand of RV. We've met some friendly people here.

Some of you know I've been making bags lately. There is a Canadian bag supply store that I knew was in Alberta. I would have guessed it was in Edmonton. Imagine my delight when I learned it is only a few kilometres from here. :love: I told a woman who is a neighbour here and bumped into her at the store. It was a great spot.

I needed to get some new shoes and have a cranky foot, likely plantar fasciitis. :( We didn't want to go to West Edmonton Mall. Well that's where I ended up. Hopefully the shoes will help it and not make it worse.
 
A 92 year old church member just commented to me that our prayer list is getting very long. Alas, our congregation is of an age....
 
Ugh dealing with father in law. He's seeing retirement/move as one big vacation and all of the responsibilities are falling to Chemguy & siblings (mostly Chemguy, brother doesn't help much and sister says he doesn't listen to her at all). Has been a bit of a problem before he retired too, like paying bills. Chemguy has access to accounts, will remind his dad to pay and he doesn't.
He didn't look into health insurance at all despite being told to. Chemguy informed him how to go get his card and to do it right away. He was hemming and hawing and finally said well my brother needs to take me. Why? He lied about getting his car registration updated.
Chemguy has been responsible for a lot, he started doing his parents taxes when I think he was still in high school, if not then before he was 20. He also attended work sessions on things like the RRSP plans. It's just kind of snowballed. There's also been the things his mom used to do.
There's also the living arrangement, he's living in a suite in his brother's (& wife's) house. He paid for the renovations and is supposed to own a part of the house. There is no legal arrangement. He just says things like oh well I trust them. But it's like okkk, but what if something happens an accident or whatever. The wife has adult children - are they aware of the arrangement?
This was something discussed back when the money was transferred before renos were done. So there's a plan to be listed on title but no action happening.

Chemguy will say things like I'm just going to stop and let everything fall apart, but it's out of frustration. I know he could never let his Dad face the serious consequences and I do agree doing this now is much better than him ignoring it until a crisis does happen. It is frustrating though, his Dad is capable of doing most of this himself (plus a bit of coaching with the online stuff) he's just lazy with all of this. He's around the same age and equally capable as many of you.
 
Ouch, chemgal, sounds like there's some co-dependency between chemguy and father. Harder to break the older they get.

Lovely Pride parade today. Most of the usual culprits showed up, although our most elder couple declined because we didn't do a float this year, and they can't walk even the km route that the parade was. Was hoping my daughter would show, but she didn't. Quite a good-sized parade, lots of on-lookers, and no hecklers this year. Normally, there's a few of us go for a beer at the Flying Monkeys afterwards, but the rev was off to the church to marry the couple who drove behind us in the parade, so it was just three of us, but nice visit anyway. And I had a "12 Minutes to Destiny" - hibiscus, rosehip, raspberry IPA - very nice. I remember the very first Barrie pride parades, when I'd take the kids, 10 and 7 or so, and we'd tromp around the perimeter of a little local park (maybe 25 of us), then have a potluck under the park shelter.
 
ChemGal said:
It is frustrating though, his Dad is capable of doing most of this himself (plus a bit of coaching with the online stuff) he's just lazy with all of this.
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BetteTheRed said:
Ouch, chemgal, sounds like there's some co-dependency between chemguy and father. Harder to break the older they get.
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As long as Chemguy does it he won't need or want to. How did Chemguy end up in the codependent relationship?
 
BetteTheRed said:
Lovely Pride parade today.
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I think London Pride is in July as usual. It's late but with so many other Pride events, including Toronto, happening in June our committee kind of decided not to compete. I have never gone but might this year. We shall see when it is and what else is going on in my life.
 
Not sure I would call it full out codependency or manipulative. Definitely irresponsibility where others are stepping up though which isn't really healthy.
The finances before I thought was a bit odd, but it wasn't really unhealthy. Chemguy took an interest early on, was aware of some bad financial habits his parents had before and wanted to learn more to avoid repeating. We wasn't telling his parents what to do, but with things like the RRSPs moreso acting like a bit of an advisor, definitely understood the information better so attended the info sessions that the workplace but on (others would often bring a spouse to them) and let his parents decide. His mom did manage the finances before she died.

Since his mom died it's been a bit of a fine line between trying not to enable too much while also helping out. It had reached a place where it was going fairly well. If he had interest on a bill because of paying it late, that was on him. The technology phobia didn't help, say booking a COVID vaccine online. I think he is capable of doing so if he sat down and did it (he did use a tablet for work) but the anxiety is too much of a barrier if someone doesn't walk him through the steps (or just do it for him).
With the retirement, moving to another province that's where everything has snowballed. If no one was stepping up I really don't think he would set up healthcare, do anything about the title on the house, etc. With those types of things do others really just let things get to a crisis before stepping in when it comes to a parent?
 
jimkenney12 said:
Sounds very complex and evolving. Elements of grief, and much more. I wonder if his wife's death left a feeling of being powerless.
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Yeah, that's a factor. Even that is complex, as there's also relief that she did die too, because of her health conditions. A concern everyone had was if Chemguy's dad died first. He was having panic attacks prior to her death and her health was likely a big factor. Anxiety and likely depression is still there, but manifests differently now.
 
Good morning! For housework, craft supplies, Pride parades and long prayer lists, family members in ongoing crisis situation, and all the other stuff that goes on, the coffee cart is ready to be as helpful as possible. C0me on by, and join in.

C(_)/ c(_) c\_/ c[_]
 
@ChemGal - sorry to hear about the challenges with your f-i-l. Sometimes hard for others to figure out why things are not happening as expected. If you look at 'stressful events scales' - death of spouse, retirement, moving are all waaaay up there in terms of stress - so combined they can pack a huge punch to functional abilities. All of these are sources of loss - hence grief & often being overwhelmed by seeminlyg small or routine daily life issues. Stress impacts cognition, initiative, decision making - which is a different situation than lack of motivation/laziness or unwillingness. We also see that sometimes a spouse's involvement may mask mild cognitive issues for the remaining partner - not noticed by family until the spouse was suddenly absent. Any, or all, or none of these factors may be at play - I can't say for sure - just some points for consideration. Sometimes changing the 'frame' on the picture of what's happening can shift people from feeling angry to feeling more compassionate about the challenging situation.
 
Cute Kitty? Check
Cute Doggie? Check
Doggie and Kitty being cute playing together? Check

Hmm. I must be on the Internet. :D

Good day (it's past noon here so Good Morning seemed out of place). Nice day here so far but there's a lingering risk of showers. No big plans, though I am getting close to putting my next story to bed and posting it over on StoriesSpace.

Drinking Wakoucha (Japanese Red Tea) right now.
 
Carolla said:
@ChemGal - sorry to hear about the challenges with your f-i-l. Sometimes hard for others to figure out why things are not happening as expected. If you look at 'stressful events scales' - death of spouse, retirement, moving are all waaaay up there in terms of stress - so combined they can pack a huge punch to functional abilities. All of these are sources of loss - hence grief & often being overwhelmed by seeminlyg small or routine daily life issues. Stress impacts cognition, initiative, decision making - which is a different situation than lack of motivation/laziness or unwillingness. We also see that sometimes a spouse's involvement may mask mild cognitive issues for the remaining partner - not noticed by family until the spouse was suddenly absent. Any, or all, or none of these factors may be at play - I can't say for sure - just some points for consideration. Sometimes changing the 'frame' on the picture of what's happening can shift people from feeling angry to feeling more compassionate about the challenging situation.
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Imagine ah sol losing spirit in the essence of the passed ...
 
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