Public School- Sexual Abstinence

Welcome to Wondercafe2!

A community where we discuss, share, and have some fun together. Join today and become a part of it!

Register Log in
When I was a child I learned early how to light matches to light candles, and later start a fire in the kitchen stove, and keep it burning at a controlled rate. I also learned how to burn a brush pile, or build and light a campfire. I was also taught how to use a hatchet for splitting kindling, and when I was a bit older how to use an ax to chop firewood, or to cut down a Christmas tree. And how to use a knife to peal potatoes or cut meat and sometimes just to whittle for fun. I never once came anywhere near burning the house down, nor did I ever have a serious cut. I was taught that there is a time, place and purpose for many things. I just wish that I had been taught a bit more about human development. It would have saved a lot of heart-ache (and no, I didn't have a teenage pregnancy - but many of the kids I knew did). I can't imagine sending a young person out into the world today as ignorant about her own body as I was.
 
And while I don't think that religion should be taught in public schools - my religion taught me about love and respect for myself, and to treat others with respect - that people aren't to be used for ones own gratification, that I have rights - including the right to say 'no' . It's a lesson I tried to pass on to my children, and now to my grandchildren.
 
crazyheart ... I think I would home school if I had children in my care today ... unfortunately I did not come to the realization that home schooling was preferable to me until recently ... but as Seeler does ... so do I try to pass on what life lessons I have learned to my grown children and grandchildren.
 
Homeschooling is the sort of thing that is done by few, done well by far fewer. If you don't have a background in education, I can't see how you would be successful. Then there's the whole lack of socializing you have to compensate for.

If you're homeschooling to get your kids away from being taught things you don't agree with, then you suck as a parent. Parenting is not about shielding kids from ideas you don't agree with. People can talk to my daughter about religion all they want. I don't care if she visits a church. She knows that she is allowed to ask probing questions, and doesn't just accept fantastic claims on the authority of the storyteller being older than she is. She understands that asking serious questions at the right time is never a bad thing, and if anyone gets mad at her for that, to tell us. She is learning to question on her own, and she discusses things with us at the end of the day that she needs help processing.

Kids can not escape sex ed, or religious instruction. Thing is, are they going to get it from the school, or from their peers? And if you tell a kid not to do something, without giving a good reason, what is their natural inclination? They are going to want to do it. The worst thing I could do is tell my daughter, "No believing in God!" Instead, we explore what different people believe, and what they don't believe. She knows I don't believe, and her mother kinda sorta does. Right now, she doesn't. Maybe later she will. But the worst thing I can do as a father is limit her exposure to information and ideas, or insist in what she has to think or believe. I have the confidence that she will come to good conclusions on her own.
 
Fortunately the Internet has made it easier than ever for parents to homeschool. I am an advocate of parental control of education and promoting alternatives to government-run schools. I am not overly fond of private or religious schools either as they are still controlled by the government. When government usurps a parent’s right to control their child’s education, it is inevitable that the child will be taught the values of government officials, rather than of the parents. This result is an education system with a built-in bias toward the principle or policy of concentrating extensive economic, political, and related controls at the cost of individual liberty Over time, government-controlled education does erode the people’s knowledge of, and appreciation for, the benefits of a free society.

I am against any legislation that infringes on a parent’s right to control their child’s education, especially any legislation that limits a parent’s right to home school. So-called education experts will claim that parents who are not “government-certified” educators cannot provide their children with a quality education. Numerous studies have shown that home schooled children out-perform their publicly-educated peers in every academic category. Most parents are more than capable of providing their children with an excellent education.

I am not advocating locking your children up at home to protect them from ideas that you don't agree with ... I am advocating alternatives to the public school system which is forcing students into a box where they are expected to think the same way and at the same pace.
 
I didn't choose to educate my own children in academic subjects, though, of course, children are in an educational process all along. My own lack of education provided a good reason for me to allow those with more knowledge to teach my kids.. We did however talk openly about sexual matters - with kids of both genders this came naturally. Friends who only had girls (or boys) said they found it hard to introduce the knowledge about body differences. My teachings about sexuality encouraged them to remain virginal until adult as I think this makes sense - but they all knew about birth control too.
 
On my way to work - will try and edit this later - wow, we are showing our ages here....as part of Rainbow Camp we teach sex ed. How to use contraceptives, what's consent, what's sex etc.... You would be amazed what some youth, 13-17 don't know about sex. Some dion't realize that oral sex is a form of real sex (hmm, must be an American thing..lol) ......anyway, we have lots of discussion.

We also do sex ed with our counselors during counselor in training sessions (CIT) - one counselor came up to me and thanked me - she said she had gone to a Catholic school and never learned anything about sex.

Ontario's sex ed in schools has not changed in some 20 plus years.....wow - as many youth come from homes where sex isn't talked about openly where are kids supposed to learn about sex? All they types of sex and what consent is.

I am thinking that most of us were never educated in the uses of dentaldams.
 
I'm not sure what the actual infringement is.

Is the infringement the conflict between Christian Fundamentalism and non-Christian?
Is the infringement the conflict between Abstinence Only and a wider spectrum of sexuality and practice?
Is the infringement the conflict between Mandatory and Optional?

I can conceive how various elements could combine to generate a sharper level of conflict though I am not sure all possible combinations are needed to produce actual infringement.

I agree with the point of view that says Abstinence Only will not work. It is about as effective as any form of prohibitionism has been and really relies on increasing levels of severity by way of punishment against infraction. It ultimately represents a shaming environment which I do not think leads to a healthy sexuality.

That said, I could not endorse a program which did not lift up abstinence as an option. If abstinence is not now or is never an option then no cannot ever mean no. I don't think that is a message that needs to be sent and it is certainly not an idea that needs to be fostered.

Fortunately there is a wide range of happy possibility between the must not and must camps. I suspect this broad area is better managed by moderates whether they are religious or not simply because moderates tolerate disagreement better than any extremist can.

Speaking from personal experience I learned more about technique outside of the classroom than I ever learned in one. None of those discussions on what might happen ever touched on anything outside of the physical pleasure and relationships, even sexual ones, are deeper than what feels good for me. To be quite candid, many adolescents are completely capable of performing the physical and completely unprepared or equipped to deal with the emotional.

It is important to know how to protect yourself against infection. Infection is not the worst thing that can happen to a person.

I'm also mindful that most of us in the discussion come at it from the perspective of been there done that and rarely consider that earlier moment when we may have wanted to be in this club but were still in the have not yet and rather scared of it camp.

We probably will never come to a place where sex-ed is perfect simply because there are so many various positions (no pun intended) each of us might take depending upon circumstance. Conditions which those we seek to teach may never encounter exactly as described.
 
In my humble opinion abstinence is always preferred - however, stats prove that this just isn't so. Education is by far the most affective way to protect our youth - religion should have nothing to do with it at the school level as it just gets in the way.

Its kind of like saying, lets leave the Bible out of church, parents will teach and tell the stories at home.

Education 101 of any kind by parents in this day in age is not like it use to be.

I found some stats below - just to a google search for Canada - youth having sex - you will find a wealth of information. One of the many interesting tacts is in 2009 6 of 10 youth in Canada reported having sex. Since most churches don't have youth why do we insist on having a say about their education on the matter - obviously, we the church, have no affect on these stats.

Youth are losing their virginity at a younger age
The average age at which young people are losing their virginity is dropping at a dramatic rate. Canada joins the United States in having the youngest sexually active population, with youth losing their virginity at an average age of 15, almost a full year younger than the global average age of 15.9. Ranking second is the UK at age 15.3, followed by Germany at age 15.6 and France at age 15.8. The difference in age of first sex between 21 year-old respondents (16.7 years) and 16 year old respondents (14.3 years) is a staggering 2.4 years.
The survey also shows that on a global basis, a third of respondents age 16-21 are still virgins. A high proportion of female virgins (59%) compared to male virgins (31%) said they did not feel ready for sex. Globally, 27% of virgins felt that they were ready to have sex, but had not yet met the right person. In addition, 9% of virgins said they felt ready for sex but hadn't yet had the opportunity.

The pressure is on for today's youth
Over half of the sexually active young adults surveyed (51%) would expect to sleep with their new partner within the first month of meeting, compared to 13% of virgins, who are more likely to wait for six months or until after marriage. Twenty-eight per cent of sexually active and non-sexually active Canadians expect sex in the first month of dating, 13% expect to wait until after 6 months and 9% expect to wait until marriage. UK and France expect sex the soonest, with over half in both countries expecting sex with a new partner before the end of their first month together. On the other side of the spectrum, 43% of the Taiwanese respondents say they would wait for their wedding day.

Infidelity high at a young age
Youth around the world are having sex with several partners by the time they reach age 21 and sometimes with multiple partners. Canadian youth (16-21 year-olds) rank third, with an average of 5.5 partners by age 21. Thais are the most unfaithful nation around the world (53%), the United States not far behind at 43% and Canada with 32%. Also note worthy, 34% of the sexually active respondents said they had experienced a sexual relationship with more than one person at a time.
 
Jobam said:
In my humble opinion abstinence is always preferred - however, stats prove that this just isn't so. Education is by far the most affective way to protect our youth - religion should have nothing to do with it at the school level as it just gets in the way.

Its kind of like saying, lets leave the Bible out of church, parents will teach and tell the stories at home.

Education 101 of any kind by parents in this day in age is not like it use to be.

I found some stats below - just to a google search for Canada - youth having sex - you will find a wealth of information. One of the many interesting tacts is in 2009 6 of 10 youth in Canada reported having sex. Since most churches don't have youth why do we insist on having a say about their education on the matter - obviously, we the church, have no affect on these stats.

Youth are losing their virginity at a younger age
The average age at which young people are losing their virginity is dropping at a dramatic rate. Canada joins the United States in having the youngest sexually active population, with youth losing their virginity at an average age of 15, almost a full year younger than the global average age of 15.9. Ranking second is the UK at age 15.3, followed by Germany at age 15.6 and France at age 15.8. The difference in age of first sex between 21 year-old respondents (16.7 years) and 16 year old respondents (14.3 years) is a staggering 2.4 years.
The survey also shows that on a global basis, a third of respondents age 16-21 are still virgins. A high proportion of female virgins (59%) compared to male virgins (31%) said they did not feel ready for sex. Globally, 27% of virgins felt that they were ready to have sex, but had not yet met the right person. In addition, 9% of virgins said they felt ready for sex but hadn't yet had the opportunity.

The pressure is on for today's youth
Over half of the sexually active young adults surveyed (51%) would expect to sleep with their new partner within the first month of meeting, compared to 13% of virgins, who are more likely to wait for six months or until after marriage. Twenty-eight per cent of sexually active and non-sexually active Canadians expect sex in the first month of dating, 13% expect to wait until after 6 months and 9% expect to wait until marriage. UK and France expect sex the soonest, with over half in both countries expecting sex with a new partner before the end of their first month together. On the other side of the spectrum, 43% of the Taiwanese respondents say they would wait for their wedding day.

Infidelity high at a young age
Youth around the world are having sex with several partners by the time they reach age 21 and sometimes with multiple partners. Canadian youth (16-21 year-olds) rank third, with an average of 5.5 partners by age 21. Thais are the most unfaithful nation around the world (53%), the United States not far behind at 43% and Canada with 32%. Also note worthy, 34% of the sexually active respondents said they had experienced a sexual relationship with more than one person at a time.
Click to expand...

So with the development of sex ed in our schools has come younger loss of virginity - increased pressure on youth to have sex - and increased infidelity. Is anyone really all that surprised? The thing about the sex ed our kids are getting in school these days is that it is not sexual enough. What I mean by that it is not teaching proper respect for sex - including that it should be reserved for within the bonds of matrimony.
 
Actually sex ed tends to DELAY sexual activity by 6 to 12 months on average. Also when young people do become sexually active they are more likely to use birth control and use it correctly if they've had sex ed. Those who don't receive sex ed, or worse get abstinence only "education" are more likely to become pregnant, more likely to have an s.t.d. and more likely to have an abortion. Yes, I am saying that abstinence only is worse than no sex ed at all, in every category you have a worse result from that, even in comparison to kids who have no sex ed of any kind. It is literally worse than nothing at all.
 
Jon71 said:
Actually sex ed tends to DELAY sexual activity by 6 to 12 months on average.
Click to expand...

Hm - you and Jobam seem to be disagreeing on that.

Jon71 said:
Also when young people do become sexually active they are more likely to use birth control and use it correctly if they've had sex ed. Those who don't receive sex ed, or worse get abstinence only "education" are more likely to become pregnant, more likely to have an s.t.d. and more likely to have an abortion. Yes, I am saying that abstinence only is worse than no sex ed at all, in every category you have a worse result from that, even in comparison to kids who have no sex ed of any kind. It is literally worse than nothing at all.
Click to expand...

Sources please?
 
Pr.Jae - google is your best friend. I googled: What age are youth in Canada having sex? Tons of information from creditable sources.
 
My info is from credible medical sources, not random whatever. It's likely American in origin but I can't think of a reason why it would be significantly different in Canada.
 
NO, I am saying kids need sex ed. They are not getting it in the schools!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top