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I don't doubt that DaisyJane. I just want people to recognize the uniqueness of the barriers and prejudices presented when one's body or brain doesn't work like somebody arbitrarily setting the standards thinks it should.I appreciate lastpointe's contribution here (post 1772). I remember the early days of parenting Matthew. I was angry. Really angry. I was resentful and frustrated and overwhelmed. I felt isolated and exhausted. I believed that no one understood my experience and that many "other" parents of kids with disabilities could not relate to my story because my story was so much more extreme than others'. And to be fair to that earlier version of me, things were overwhelming. My guess is if we were to pull threads from the very early days of wondercafe you could read some of that anger and bitterness in the posts.
And then people might remember that I stopped being specialmom and started being daisyjane. I reached a place where I could begin to see my identity and experiences as something that included more than being this special needs parent. I began to understand that disability was only one part of my story and my parenting journey. I also began to understand that my story was not unique.
As I lived this journey and learned to hear others with a heavy dose of humility I learned that I did not corner the market on tragedy, difficulty, and loss. That lots of people, including lots of people who outwardly looked like their lives were easy, unburdened, and barrier-free, lived similarly complicated lives with similar barriers, stigma, challenges, and prejudices. Some had extreme challenges and were quietly and not so quietly suffering and hurting. Granted my journey seemed more visible because my son is very visibly disabled. But, like lastpointe has suggested, I learned that if I listened to others' stories the common ground we shared of living with challenge, difficulty, and so on, was remarkable.
yet 7 words is all you could spare on another thread much more relevant to your future well-being than defining disability again and again and again ...Yeah. They do. I don't doubt that and I am not someone who doesn't recognize that. I'm about a paycheque, maybe a month, away from that at most times - were it not for a good friend who happened to need help with their bills and were looking for a roommate, we might be there now. Therefore but by the grace of God go I. And imagine if they also have a physical or mental impairment. Having a disability - there have been lots of stops and pauses and restarts in my life. Some periods, I have been more resilient to than others.
yet 7 words is all you could spare on another thread much more relevant to your future well-being than defining disability again and again and again ...
Guaranteed basic income. Yes. I like it.
Kimmio, Monday at 10:19 PM
What does that expression mean ... therefore but by the grace of God go I ... homeless people are outside of God's grace?
You were a woman who was facing a world that wasn't expected, that you had a sense of what it would be, who had been mistreated by some church leadership.
Just to add to my post a few up, I suppose for me, that is why I support this assisted suicide decision. There is an understanding that while many of us share a common experience of challenge and suffering, we also cannot understand others' suffering and it is unfair to make judgements based on external cues. If I reflect on my earlier experiences I was making judgments on others - that their suffering or challenges were less than mine - which was brutally unfair of me. I am not comfortable applying my judgement of acceptable suffering on another.
I don't doubt that DaisyJane. I just want people to recognize the uniqueness of the barriers and prejudices presented when one's body or brain doesn't work like somebody arbitrarily setting the standards thinks it should.
And yet you seem to be arbitrarily setting such standards in another way.
Arbitrarily in what way?
Well not taking DaisyJane's concerns and experiences seriously. Labelling people ableist when they disagree with you to name a couple.
I explained the disadvantage therefore why I think it's ableist. Not agreeing with me just means you support the idea that there is a 'norm' of labour ethics (timeliness, deadlines) and everyone has to keep up with it despite if their bodies are made to or not. That's arbitrary.
DaisyJane is filtering everything through her lens of a parent with child who has a severe disability/ impairment and I am filtering my opinions through the lens of someone who is well into adulthood who lives with a disability - much less severe impairment, and I am disabled by external barriers.
[/QUOTE]That is not true. I disagree with you on certain terms. You are making a huge assumption when you believe I believe there is a normal of labour ethics. You also make a huge assumption that I believe that everyone has to keep up despite their bodies. I do not believe that. If you can find somewhere that I've said that show it to me.
Having said that, I do believe that you cannot cop out by using the disability card. You seem to want everyone to remove all barriers so you can have an easy life. You seem to want to blame disability for failures that happen merely because you are human. That does not suit you. I will accommodate and advocate accommodations to help anyone succeed. I will not support using a disability as an excuse.
It's not that I don't take DJs concerns seriously but she is equating disability with impairment and I am not. Because they are two different causes of suffering. Not that her son doesn't have suffering.
I was separating the words - explaining the social model - because as per this ruling it really matters that factors that disable people outside of their impairments are not reasons to grant assisted suicide.I'm on my BlackBerry and can't seem to scroll down to edit my post. As for your comments on DJ, you are dismissing her because has a different view of disability v.s. impairment. They are really just words. You are going to use a word to dismiss someone's argument? ...
*envy*I'm on my BlackBerry