Euthanasia in Canada, Supreme Court Ruled this Morning

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

@Northwind I am directing this to you because of the comment you made about the 'disability card'. I found it quite hurtful. Notice, that the problems that have happened in my life have little to do with my disability directly? They are things that happen to other people. My mother on some level though resents having had to look after me as a single parent - she told me so. It was challenging for her to have a kid with a disability and she couldn't take it out on my dad because he left so she took it out on me. So it is related to my relationship with my mother. My husband has epilepsy - exacerbated by stress - and after he got laid off from a long term job he has had trouble holding a job. Moving was hard for us. My husband had a serious health crisis. I managed through that but then crashed. I have chronic depression and anxiety not surprisingly triggered by stress. It also impacts my body - aches and pains and tension on top of cp which is spastic and also involves my balance. When I have anxiety attacks I can't walk. And it takes longer to do things but I need more rest - sometimes I have insomnia. If I don't have enough sleep my body is also stiff and wonky. So it is harder to get things done. Also even when stress is low it isn't easy to get up earlier if I am expected to be somewhere - and go to bed later to get chores done. And help with my husband's seizures when he has them. They happen at night or in the morning - out of the blue. Oh..and my oh so supportive mother is disappointed that I 'picked' someone who has the problems my husband has. She said the other day that he isn't her family. So lovely. So as soon as I read something that slightly reminds me of her criticisms and telling me what I do wrong - I feel upset.


So despite having problems other people deal with (us in spades lately) there is the fact that disability makes it harder. It's not like people with disabilities don't have average people problems too but navigating an able bodied world to deal with them is harder. Did you know that I was told that I use 2-3 times more energy just moving around doing average things? People who tell me that I am making excuses, at this point in my life, piss me off.

There's my disability card.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Oh and I can't wait - with all this going on - to have to go job hunting again when I can hardly walk and go through all the motions like a trained seal while I am being judged the second I walk in. I'm well versed in it.

 

[Ritafee]

Well Kimmio ... I am very sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with ... seems to me that changing the wording of a legal document will not go far towards helping with any of your challenges. Why are you having to go out and 'work' in the first place? That is why I keep bringing up Basic Annual Income ... it would be good for everyone but especially beneficial for worthy people like you and your husband who just need a bit of wiggle room to 'regroup'. Alas I fear this will not be coming our way soon enough. Is there no government funding available to you at this stage ... social assistance ... disability allowances ?

 

[Delightful Life]

she could also try out things like getting a youtube account and try to build an audience that would be interested enough in whatever it is she would do (and as a human being, she has unique experiences that some people might be willing to pay for) -- you don't even need a fancy rig -- just the camera that comes with one's cell phone

setting up a paypal account to accept money (one can link their paypal to their bank account) is a must

she could go and start a kickstarter or indiegogo campaign -- she'd have to think of something she could offer people for their money -- there are LOTS of different things

she could even go to patreon, where you offer your audience certain things and they pay you more often -- linking her patreon account with things like blogger, tumblr

she could, if she's crafty at all, go to a site like etsy, aftcra, Big Cartel, Zibbet or even a place like cafeexpress where one makes logos and slogans and then people can buy that on objects like cups, pens, t-shirts

she could sell various things on ebay -- there are quite a variety of things that are sold there...

she could learn how to use bitcoin and make bitcoin that way

there are TONS of free services out there that one can *try* to make money with (read 'people paying you for bringing value to them') -- but one first has to try

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Well Kimmio ... I am very sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with ... seems to me that changing the wording of a legal document will not go far towards helping with any of your challenges. Why are you having to go out and 'work' in the first place? That is why I keep bringing up Basic Annual Income ... it would be good for everyone but especially beneficial for worthy people like you and your husband who just need a bit of wiggle room to 'regroup'. Alas I fear this will not be coming our way soon enough. Is there no government funding available to you at this stage ... social assistance ... disability allowances ?

There probably is, yes, but I want to work. I raise money for humanitarian and disaster relief and work with some really great people who are my friends. Not great pay but better than minimum wage and one of the best groups of people and environments I have ever worked in. I found an email in my inbox late today that I hadn't noticed earlier - the same form letter my coworker got - so I was laid off.

So...yeah...it sucks. And a guaranteed annual income would help.

I still think changing the wording of the ruling is important, though. It's not going to happen.

 

[Luce NDs]

What is it the Gospel of Luke says about loving the enemies, etc?

In the words of Pogo ... as the top predator ... who needs enemies ... or other wise we are it ... and don't know it.

Perhaps some in the plan of gods that we don't grasp the deeper lessons because of our propensity about religious naïveté ... or as the leading book of the bible says : :knowledge is evil!"

Go figure that in an compassionate population.

In such groupies there are always enough unmoving types to be a hindrance to knowing beta ... this the mortal stone walling! Sometimes it is just stoning any monster that you see coming up at yah as yah fall ...

Sorry for the descending comments ...

 

[Lastpointe]

I am very sorry you have been laid off.

Obviously something shifted with your job if they are laying off multiple people.

And it is unfortunate you have a poor relationship with your mother. I thought in the past you referrred to your physician father and being well off as a child.

I understand where she is coming from though. A a parent, you really want your kids to land on their feet. Do well. Marrythe person you would love to pick for them..... I certainly want the best for my kid and wish i could steer them where i want them to be. Its hard to watch them make adult decisions you might not choose. Hopefully you can rekindle your relationship at some point.

With your experience in community activism have you considered trying to work for your city councillor, MPP or MP offices. As a community outreach person? If they don't have the position on staff, perhaps you could make a case for why it is needed.

Or perhaps the ombudsman's office?

 

[Lastpointe]

Have you considered taking the Canadian Securities Course?

You, or hubby?

Take a look at the Edward Jones web site. They hire many people in second careers. And it operates as individual offices, advisor and assistant. Very people oriented.

Advisor or assistant.

 

[Northwind]

I'm sorry I hurt you Kimmio. Life has handed you a pile of crap and that sucks. I agree with Lastpointe. It seems that you were the victim of a mass lay off.

I read your posts and kept seeing that society is to blame for all of PWD's problems. I saw little that acknowledged that PWD also have skills and supports to face those extra challenges.

I use an anti-oppressive framework in my work. I use concepts that you have been promoting. I also borrow from other places such as the medical model, Freud's work, spiritual practices etc. That doesn't mean I fully buy what people like Freud promoted. I also don't throw what he wrote out completely. Same goes for the medical model.

I admire your passion to advocate for PWD. I hope you are able to pursue that in real life in a way that gives you satisfaction and brings results. I also hope you can develop a well rounded tool box for that work.

 

[Waterfall]

Kimmio, stay brave. You have many blessings amongst your obstacles. Thinking about YOU today as you move forward in your life.

 

[Seeler]

I appreciate lastpointe's contribution here (post 1772). I remember the early days of parenting Matthew. I was angry. Really angry. I was resentful and frustrated and overwhelmed. I felt isolated and exhausted. I believed that no one understood my experience and that many "other" parents of kids with disabilities could not relate to my story because my story was so much more extreme than others'. And to be fair to that earlier version of me, things were overwhelming. My guess is if we were to pull threads from the very early days of wondercafe you could read some of that anger and bitterness in the posts.

And then people might remember that I stopped being specialmom and started being daisyjane. I reached a place where I could begin to see my identity and experiences as something that included more than being this special needs parent. I began to understand that disability was only one part of my story and my parenting journey. I also began to understand that my story was not unique.

As I lived this journey and learned to hear others with a heavy dose of humility I learned that I did not corner the market on tragedy, difficulty, and loss. That lots of people, including lots of people who outwardly looked like their lives were easy, unburdened, and barrier-free, lived similarly complicated lives with similar barriers, stigma, challenges, and prejudices. Some had extreme challenges and were quietly and not so quietly suffering and hurting. Granted my journey seemed more visible because my son is very visibly disabled. But, like lastpointe has suggested, I learned that if I listened to others' stories the common ground we shared of living with challenge, difficulty, and so on, was remarkable.

DaisyJane - I well remember that time. You taught me a great deal about living with a profoundly disabled child, about how it affected your family, about the struggles you went through, and the difficulties that you had to cope with. I saw your compassion for Rev.Matt when his daughter was born, and for Chansen when his son's life was compromised. Life wasn't easy. I saw your anger, but I also saw your caring, strength, and intelligence.
And I remember meeting you and Matthew at Five Oaks.

 

[revsdd]

For those that are interested, and know me in RL, there is a spirited conversation about he distinction between Tourabian and Chicago Style over on FB. Bring popcorn!

I tried reading through this thread and just can't go any further. Figured it was time to stop when I came to this.

I did my doctorate in Chicago but had to use Turabian for my thesis. Go figure.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

I am very sorry you have been laid off.

Obviously something shifted with your job if they are laying off multiple people.

And it is unfortunate you have a poor relationship with your mother. I thought in the past you referrred to your physician father and being well off as a child.

I understand where she is coming from though. A a parent, you really want your kids to land on their feet. Do well. Marrythe person you would love to pick for them..... I certainly want the best for my kid and wish i could steer them where i want them to be. Its hard to watch them make adult decisions you might not choose. Hopefully you can rekindle your relationship at some point.

With your experience in community activism have you considered trying to work for your city councillor, MPP or MP offices. As a community outreach person? If they don't have the position on staff, perhaps you could make a case for why it is needed.

Or perhaps the ombudsman's office?

Yes, Lastpounte, but my parents were divorced. He had a second wife and a second family. I won't go into details.

 

[Jaebius]

I tried reading through this thread and just can't go any further. Figured it was time to stop when I came to this.

I did my doctorate in Chicago but had to use Turabian for my thesis. Go figure.

I noticed on the recent syllabus sent out to my seminary cohort the head of our program wants us to use Chicago. Guess that settles the question for me.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

I'm sorry I hurt you Kimmio. Life has handed you a pile of crap and that sucks. I agree with Lastpointe. It seems that you were the victim of a mass lay off.

I read your posts and kept seeing that society is to blame for all of PWD's problems. I saw little that acknowledged that PWD also have skills and supports to face those extra challenges.

I use an anti-oppressive framework in my work. I use concepts that you have been promoting. I also borrow from other places such as the medical model, Freud's work, spiritual practices etc. That doesn't mean I fully buy what people like Freud promoted. I also don't throw what he wrote out completely. Same goes for the medical model.

I admire your passion to advocate for PWD. I hope you are able to pursue that in real life in a way that gives you satisfaction and brings results. I also hope you can develop a well rounded tool box for that work.

They do have skills to deal with those extra challenges. Mine appear to be variable...but many do. My point, and the point of the social model is why should they have so many extra challenges (along with the same challenges everybody else has)? Including the invisible ones that people don't realize...the comments, the assumptions, the discriminatory red tape in our 'systems'. I have met some exceptional people with disabilities. I don't know if they (the ones I know) would have achieved or sustained their successes without good natural supports (family, allies, people who 'have their back') to get there.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Kimmio, stay brave. You have many blessings amongst your obstacles. Thinking about YOU today as you move forward in your life.

Thank you.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

I am very sorry you have been laid off.

Obviously something shifted with your job if they are laying off multiple people.

And it is unfortunate you have a poor relationship with your mother. I thought in the past you referrred to your physician father and being well off as a child.

I understand where she is coming from though. A a parent, you really want your kids to land on their feet. Do well. Marrythe person you would love to pick for them..... I certainly want the best for my kid and wish i could steer them where i want them to be. Its hard to watch them make adult decisions you might not choose. Hopefully you can rekindle your relationship at some point.

With your experience in community activism have you considered trying to work for your city councillor, MPP or MP offices. As a community outreach person? If they don't have the position on staff, perhaps you could make a case for why it is needed.

Or perhaps the ombudsman's office?

My mother is a toxic force in my life, but I am supposed to love her. So when she says the most nasty and abusive things I feel I need to forgive her. That's why my dad left - but he married his secretary with two kids and she never got over it. Still hasn't. Planning my wedding was a minefield. And he put his efforts into his new family - which she reminded me of everyday. She had a rough life herself, tragedy in her background, everyone reminds me (my step-dad the Saint who she married when I was in my late teens - but he also enables her nasty behaviour because he puts up with her abuse too) - she has mental health issues herself to put it kindly. One would assume she is together on first impression - intelligent, educated, stylish. She's a piece of work - she needs to deal with her own stuff - and really I am better off without having contact with her. I'd prefer not to become like her - and do things that are important to me, not to her.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Lastpointe - I saw my dad every other weekend if he remembered to pick me up (he 'forgot' a few times when they were in a battle over child support). I moved in for about a year when I was in my tweens, when my mom and him fought and she dropped me off at his place (and showed up at my elementary school to apologize to me in tears front of my friends so I missed her and went back) and again for part of a year in high school. But most of my upbringing was with her. She had main custody - my dad didn't fight for custody. He moved on. I never really suffered materially growing up - my mom managed, I never starved -although my dad's place was fancier than our rental homes and I was a 'latch-key' kid.

There it is in a nutshell.

 

[Lastpointe]

I hope you do get to a point eventually where your mother daughter relationship heals. But maybe it wont. It is sad

I hope you get some leads on a new job for both of you.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

I hope you do get to a point eventually where your mother daughter relationship heals. But maybe it wont. It is sad

I hope you get some leads on a new job for both of you.

Thanks. I appreciate that.