Dementia

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KayTheCurler said:
There have been several cases of older people dying alone and unnoticed in my small town. So sad.
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We currently live in an apt. Since selling the house. The lady above me died alone and had no family. The lady at the end also died alone and family showed up to clean the apt. after a couple weeks.
Not sure how long before they were found.
There were more within the two buildings. Mostly "elderly' from 70 to 80" and all were only paying around $800.
/Month because they moved in years ago. Now they're rented at $1800.
Hah, I could write a book based on the deaths occurring around here.
 
Neighbour died alone. Two sons showed up after being notified. Each claimed some items, attended to business at the funeral arranging company. No formal funeral. No official obit. Then they left and everything was thrown out.
 
curlykay said:
Neighbour died alone. Two sons showed up after being notified. Each claimed some items, attended to business at the funeral arranging company. No formal funeral. No official obit. Then they left and everything was thrown out.
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Seems to be too many of these instances occurring.
I'm wondering what is causing this increase in the last couple decades?
 
How much of it is aging parents asserting a desire to live on their own, overriding parents?

Curious as my dad was insistent in staying in his home. Likely if i still didn't live in our home city, he would have.
 
JayneWonders said:
How much of it is aging parents asserting a desire to live on their own, overriding parents?

Curious as my dad was insistent in staying in his home. Likely if i still didn't live in our home city, he would have.
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Probably one of the reasons for sure, but I'm sure there's a lot more.
 
My mom and dad sold their home and moved into a retirement residence. It was very hard for them to give up their home and possessions

My mom knew they weren't really coping in the house and she was ready. My dad held out hope for several months that they would be able to return to their old home. It was heartbreaking
 
JayneWonders said:
do you have suggestions?
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Some say we're living longer, so we are actually creating another kind of life, sort of a second life, that is away from the "raising the family life years". And a lot of the kids that we raised have moved away after college and such so visits become more limited and less. As we get older our social group gets smaller (deaths, infirmities, etc...), Spouses die and we're less likely to embark on new things. Retirement can become isolating.
Loneliness is also on the rise.
The lady that passed above me in her 80s had one friend left that died 3 years ago. She had a cat and the building manager would check up on her regularly by delivering her mail personally to her door. This was how she was found to have died.
There's also an increase of estrangement from adult children towards their parents. They see their parents as being responsible for how they turned out and refer to their parents as toxic and narcissistic. Joshua Coleman has written a book on this and states that it seems adult children have lowered the bar on what a toxic relationship actually is or even fail to assess their own possible diagnosis of mental health, or learn how parental relationships can be reconciled. The video I posted above shows a woman who started a group for adult children who believe they are in toxic relationships called "Stand Alone". This concept and it's solutions seem to be contributing to generational family systems falling apart not just in the UK but also North America.
Like I said, there can be many things.
 
paradox3 said:
My mom and dad sold their home and moved into a retirement residence. It was very hard for them to give up their home and possessions

My mom knew they weren't really coping in the house and she was ready. My dad held out hope for several months that they would be able to return to their old home. It was heartbreaking
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Just curious, at what age did they go into the retirement home?
 
paradox3 said:
Yes it was the right thing.
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So to me that's a good story but I'm sure the transition at the time was monumental for them. I think it may be harder to accept change as we get older, we're probably less flexible with age.
 
There are some really gorgeous life-lease units around the corner from me. It's mixed, so there are smaller/more apartment like units, but there are little houses: two bedrooms, tiny front yard, garage. Yard and driveway are maintained by the monthly fees. Don't think there's a basement. But someone like Mr. Kay could use the garage or the second bedroom as a workshop.
 
My mom gets obsessed about certain things....mostly the pills she takes. She has always taken a boat load of vitamins, and really has only two prescriptions other than the prescriptions for her eyes. I fill her docette but she sometimes sneaks pills that aren't in it. Lately, she is obsessed with her cranberry pills. Because she seems to be taking them at odd times and in addition to the ones I set out for her, we have decided we might need to hide her pills. Before this, it was Tylenol for arthritis, and probiotics that she became obsessed over. Because there are four of us involved in her care, sometimes we miss what she is doing...so communication is key. This cranberry vitamin obsession is giving us a little chuckle now, but it took awhile for us to figure out that she was overdosing on them!
 
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