Death and all that.

No, I'm not anticipating that I'll die soon. It's just something a person thinks about when dealing with metastatic cancer.

The MAID threads made me think. Rather than adding to them, and inviting arguments, I decided to write something here. I ask that you respond respectfully.

As I edge closer to qualifying to apply for MAID, I realize that this is not an academic discussion for me. It is not a discussion that belongs in a university classroom. It is potentially an option for me. As you may have noticed, I have little tolerance for some thoughts, even though I do believe we are all entitled to make our own choices.

I've been part of a cancer support group in person for several years. I've also been part of a few FB groups. We have discussed MAID over coffee and online. One friend chose MAID in September last year. My aunt chose MAID in April this year. I've known others who have chosen it. Suddenly, MAID has become part of my circle so to speak. It has an impact.

I'm very glad it's an option for those who choose it. I'm glad both my friend and my aunt could take control over how they left this world. Both had good access to supports and care for the record.

Of course I'm speaking of track 1 only. Track 2 is an entirely different discussion in my mind.

This having a disease that can go sideways suddenly changes your perspective. At this point, my choice would be to go to palliative care. Who knows what I will decide later. I'm glad it is an option.

What do you think you would do?

I may add more thoughts later.

Edit: This is not a thread for debate or for political discussion. I've shared some of my thoughts of what it is like to be approaching a point where I'll qualify to apply for MAID. Kindly take any debate or political type questions to one of the MAID threads in the main forum. Thank you.

 

[Luce NDs]

Sobering ... serious empathy ... powers tell folk we shouldn't be that way for reason the destroyer hides his work (vocation)!

Well at least till psychopaths set the daemons loose ... many are blind to it by spectacular wealth that impresses them ... just too much ... avarice?

Can one remain silent about it? Get igno rants prevails ... subtly ...

 

[BetteTheRed]

I think none of us have really any idea of how little human money and human power actually matter in the grand scheme, if there is such a thing.

 

[Luce NDs]

I think none of us have really any idea of how little human money and human power actually matter in the grand scheme, if there is such a thing.

That's abstract ... creating considerable dissonance among the absolutes that believe they are the core ... imagine the debate ... little question that it doesn't just make toe world spin but has an affect on the great vision ... Cosmo ... some say Omnia! Take onus ... appreciate ...

Absorption of the gift can be consuming ... hard to swallow ...

 

[Northwind]

This is an interesting article. It was linked in a FB group.

MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying), Freedom, and the Lie That Canada “Kills Its Own”

When a government program becomes a punching bag for MAGA/MAPLE MAGA Religious Cult led internet outrage, facts go missing. Let’s put them back.

open.substack.com

As I've said, at this point I don't plan to use MAID. I appreciate that it's a choice.

 

[Luce NDs]

Expecting folk to use info and true statistics is tough ... might as well sit back and write Satyr for the rubbing ... it could kick as it passes ... yet terrible enemy of coyotes ... the power have expressions of their own intending their rounds to follow true ... donkey wheels. Some philosopher wrote about them and jousting's ... perhaps too late for us?

The lessons I've learned and rejected, alternately, are immense ... but minor in the greater cause ... NOS Hite ... and not to be mentioned ... mute! Thus scratched on a medium ... that irritating sound in the night? Scratch creation as abstract ... dark art and all that ...

It is not for everyone consider those that desire to know not ... I find such stuff enlightening! Much better than following the hardened ... like stones in that river crossed by Elijah and Elisha ... taken to heart by Elisha in double demiurge .. doppelganger ... power of flo' ... moving?

 

[Luce NDs]

If one studies alien facts ... be prepared to code it ... like that Man called Intrepid ... a spark in the dark!

The stuff that he took under wing ... upsetting ... ῳ ... classic reciprocal script ... for M! Shape up ...

 

[Northwind]

These last couple weeks have been tough. It seems the treatments have hit me harder, so instead of feeling the side effects for a couple days, I'm feeling them for a week. My last treatment was two weeks ago and I'm still exhausted. It's frustrating. I saw my doctor at the cancer clinic yesterday and he suggested I take a break since I'm seeing my oncologist next week. I'm not heartbroken. It will hopefully give me a chance to gain more energy.

Also, having my scans moved up is a concern. It's also great it could happen.

This has made me reflect on death and MAID. The last couple weeks were the kind where the treatment wasn't worth it. I know my oncologist has more treatment up her sleeve and for that I'm thankful. Each treatment change though, brings challenges. What side effects come with this one? How many more options do I have? I will likely be getting a new treatment when I see the oncologist.

I truly understand why people come to a point where they're done. I'm not there yet.

I've been reflecting on the things I've lost through this. I've got neuropathy in my hands and feet from the drug. This means a loss of typical sensation in my hands and feet. It means dropping things. Thankfully, I can knit. The energy loss means a loss of activities. Things like hikes or just feeling like doing errands.

I'm looking forward to seeing what my oncologist has to say.

 

[Luce NDs]

These last couple weeks have been tough. It seems the treatments have hit me harder, so instead of feeling the side effects for a couple days, I'm feeling them for a week. My last treatment was two weeks ago and I'm still exhausted. It's frustrating. I saw my doctor at the cancer clinic yesterday and he suggested I take a break since I'm seeing my oncologist next week. I'm not heartbroken. It will hopefully give me a chance to gain more energy.

Also, having my scans moved up is a concern. It's also great it could happen.

This has made me reflect on death and MAID. The last couple weeks were the kind where the treatment wasn't worth it. I know my oncologist has more treatment up her sleeve and for that I'm thankful. Each treatment change though, brings challenges. What side effects come with this one? How many more options do I have? I will likely be getting a new treatment when I see the oncologist.

I truly understand why people come to a point where they're done. I'm not there yet.

I've been reflecting on the things I've lost through this. I've got neuropathy in my hands and feet from the drug. This means a loss of typical sensation in my hands and feet. It means dropping things. Thankfully, I can knit. The energy loss means a loss of activities. Things like hikes or just feeling like doing errands.

I'm looking forward to seeing what my oncologist has to say.

God sakes don't I hear you NW!

 

[BetteTheRed]

Worried for you. You are often in my thoughts, dear NW.

 

[chansen]

Same.

 

[paradox3]

Thinking of you @Northwind. There are no words for this

 

[Northwind]

Thanks everyone. This is part of the cancer journey. Funks are part of it. My oncologist is amazing and is always a few steps ahead. She said I still have options.

 

[JayneWonders]

Thinking about you @Northwind

Based on your previous posts, you have much more personal knowledge of people who have decided that they are at the end of the line.

I am thankful that your oncologist has more options to pull out of their hat, and also listens to you. How difficult it would be to not have a good relationship with your oncologist.

Hope that you are able to recover some energy and enjoy the fall weather.

 

[paradox3]

Thanks everyone. This is part of the cancer journey. Funks are part of it.

For sure. Glad you have a few spaces where you can vent when you need to.

My oncologist is amazing and is always a few steps ahead. She said I still have options.

Always a good thing when we trust our medical people and know we are in capable hands.

 

[KayTheCurler]

These last couple weeks have been tough. It seems the treatments have hit me harder, so instead of feeling the side effects for a couple days, I'm feeling them for a week. My last treatment was two weeks ago and I'm still exhausted. It's frustrating. I saw my doctor at the cancer clinic yesterday and he suggested I take a break since I'm seeing my oncologist next week. I'm not heartbroken. It will hopefully give me a chance to gain more energy.

Also, having my scans moved up is a concern. It's also great it could happen.

This has made me reflect on death and MAID. The last couple weeks were the kind where the treatment wasn't worth it. I know my oncologist has more treatment up her sleeve and for that I'm thankful. Each treatment change though, brings challenges. What side effects come with this one? How many more options do I have? I will likely be getting a new treatment when I see the oncologist.

I truly understand why people come to a point where they're done. I'm not there yet.

I've been reflecting on the things I've lost through this. I've got neuropathy in my hands and feet from the drug. This means a loss of typical sensation in my hands and feet. It means dropping things. Thankfully, I can knit. The energy loss means a loss of activities. Things like hikes or just feeling like doing errands.

I'm looking forward to seeing what my oncologist has to say.

I have no words that seem appropriate for your situation. On a personal level I feel priviledged to hear your straightforward sharing. It enables me to better understand other people struggling with cancer. On the other hand I wish no one had to travel through these treatments that being difficulties.

A gentle cyber hug is winging from here to your camper.

 

[ninj]

Hello NW...beautiful fall day where I am. Just popping by to say "Hi". I'm back in Kitchener and was just talking to a former "Woman to Woman" choir member. I'm reminded that you were singing with them awhile? So fall in Waterloo County...Oktoberfest etc. Sending gentle wishes your way.

 

[Northwind]

I did sing with them and Jayne was my baritone buddy. Great memories!

 

[Mendalla]

Hello NW...beautiful fall day where I am. Just popping by to say "Hi". I'm back in Kitchener and was just talking to a former "Woman to Woman" choir member. I'm reminded that you were singing with them awhile? So fall in Waterloo County...Oktoberfest etc. Sending gentle wishes your way.

Yay, Kitchener! Birthplace of the ape! Haven't been down in a while. My brother lives there but family gatherings always seem to be at my cousins' place in Hamilton.

 

[Luce NDs]

Cousin played Hockey there ... made it to the NY Rangers and killed in automobile crash before initiation!

Long while ago, fresh in my mind as I was in the car with him shortly before the crash ... facing death ... and wondering "why me Lord!" Life seems so cruel in its choices ... some say God is life and some God is Love ... reclaim?

Go figure ...

 

[KayTheCurler]

If you have legal papers assigning Power of Attorney and a Health Care Directive and someone assigned to that role will this help with that problem? I really don't understand this legal stuff. It seems even more difficult when government is involved.