Conflict resolution in society and the Vaughan, Ontario shootings

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I had to deal with one condo board as a contractor. I can feel his frustration from here. People in condos often hate each other over the board's decisions. Imagine seeing your mortal enemy in the lobby every few days.

Nobody deserved to get shot, but I'm almost surprised this doesn't happen more often. From what I learned, I'm never buying a condo.
 
That goes to my point about relationships. This is likely not the time for the media to address how the condo board responded. I'm sure there is yet more to this story. Even an abuser will be impacted by the relationships they're in. That is not putting blame on the board for the record. He was the one who used his gun. These relationships are like dances. This one had a horrific ending.
 
Kimmio Laughterlove said:
No I’m not trying to do that. I’m saying, if anything most people in general, including mentally ill people, would never do this - but there has to be something deeply unwell, with someone who does.
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Agreed. It's not to say something like he didn't know what he was doing. I don't see how as a society though we can look at his behaviours and say that's someone who was mentally well. Mental illness treatment isn't one narrow path. Preventing the situation from escalating likely needed a few treatment approaches.
 
Can there be mental illness and dissociation when so many do not even believe that mind, sol, psyche exists as a smidgeon (essence) of intellect?

I've been told many times by folks with high degrees of study that deny such things as psyche functions ... too close to hated knowledge is my opinion ... but these folk also believe me insane for even accepting the potential of abstract! It is nontheless a dark area ... ooften redacted ... wiped out?

Thus that old sage about if you think you are intelligent ... think again ... because the mores believe you to be of a different state of mind ...

Just out there will do for escape ... beyond the integral circle to counter totalitarianism ... then they slip away ... like smoke on the up draft ... a beast to understand!

The only thing that counters authority is the loss of a portion to allow reason to creep in ... slicks?
 
Argh. Why is it when you want to keep a post that you're writing, it disappears and when you want to just leave it, it stays. :rolleyes: I'll try again.

This is an interesting article. It looks like the board and community tried to help the shooter. Community tried to help

I'm glad they included a statement from a mental health law specialist. Too many people seem to think treatment is a magic bullet that will fix everything. It won't. As the specialist says, it's never that simple.

Anita Szigeti, a Toronto-based mental health law specialist, said there's always a desire to look back when a tragedy happens and search for a potential solution that could have prevented it. But, she said, it's never that simple.

It's almost impossible to predict whether an individual will commit violent acts, she said, though often people see what appear to be warning signs in hindsight.
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What we know about the shooter

I wonder why this man never faced stronger legal consequences. He seemed to have earned them.
 
I've been thinking of Mendalla's questions about how we handle conflict these days. It seems were either polarized and fighting or avoiding conflict. Is there a place for conflict at all these days? Is it recognized that conflict might ultimately be able to lead to solutions or renegotiated relationships? This may be a topic for another thread.
 
Like you mentioned hindsight is 20/20, but maybe in future condo disputes for example, they may require an independent mediator to resolve issues?
Courts are adversarial, one party has to prove they have the best iron clad argument against the other, when in fact there may be some truths on both sides that need to be negotiated.
Nothing supports violence, but being brushed off without satisfactory resolutions can increase frustrations and anger that escalates.
He also had a history with his family who he had abused and no one was talking to him...a firecracker ready to explode.
So many variables that the healthcare system wouldnt even be aware of unless he sought help himself.
Did I also hear somewhere that he was an architect? I wonder how his colleagues viewed him from a work standpoint, or friends? But we'll never know.
 
Someone who believes that radiation from an electrical room below his condo is slowly killing him but doesn’t sell and move away, sounds like a mental health case to me.
 
I met a friend’s sister’s new boyfriend on Christmas day who was also telling very frustrating stories about boards who are micro managing everything in the building including which plants he plants into his planters on his terrace. He is selling it now. So e of his frustration was also that he had to pay the maintenance fees for stuff that he did not feel was money well spend.
 
Had a discussion with a temporate Muslem at a wedding we were overseeing on Dec 28 ... had a great laugh over how folk miss the allusion to wars as conflicts in the head ... M'N what a discussion about what is difficult to accept in reality!

Did you know that M'N was once a MU's in another traditional thought? Amusin' is a difficult atmosphere for an overly proud character to enter ... thus humiliating crashes ... and the entire thing comes down! The decline of the eternal in a large field of discovery (field once being a Wahl).

Explains Jerico and that thing as it hits yah in your dreams ... then there is jerrymandering as something else again ... what we know for sure is O' Din ... diabolical again ... that thing in vegetating form! Jew Cid? Some say santimonious sapient ... Sept a gient ... a sacred literature ... rarely understood in depth ... layered and cause of tears and tiers ... like onion's kin ... something to cry one's way out of ... inhumanity?

Then there was TAR MAC ... a binding corporate deal as tarred and feathered as two blacknesses ... resembling a Black Swan cover-up! You did know that MAC and TAR are both modern words for shaman (a grease ball in emotional terms ... sebaceus cist)? Humanity's spelling ove time has evolved atrociously to support the stunning and spectacular loss of processing ability ... grease Ba'aLs were said to float on saltine seize/Zaes ... like a modern integral when it all adds up to sigma ... that's ζ, ξ, or Σ as what ort thou come from ... ort is sometimes taken as creative like dark spatial things ...abstract? This too various as traveling hobos and other aliens ... John ath ans wift?

I-t went ... with all the little broken chits ... fecund amines ... some monamines and mental contrllers from a special tree of healing Ayahauska? All that is left is the burned out husk ... some say a bonnie scull ... hard boned? Difficult to get into ... and disturbing ... like Eris is a dissonant icon! We are there 4 shore ... mighty divide of winds ... that Tyson Guise? ET or IT! Furthering de bate eh ... batea's ... a hard search ...
 
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Mrs.Anteater said:
Someone who believes that radiation from an electrical room below his condo is slowly killing him but doesn’t sell and move away, sounds like a mental health case to me.
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It certainly can be one sign on the surface. We don't know what made him believe that. Did it come out of his head or were there things he heard or whatever that lead him to believe this? It is simplistic for us to automatically go to mental health for a reason.

I'm in no way suggesting he was innocent or his actions justified for the record.
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
Someone who believes that radiation from an electrical room below his condo is slowly killing him but doesn’t sell and move away, sounds like a mental health case to me.
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We had concerns about the transformer being close to our apartment (a big one outside on a concrete pad) so actually got the instrumentation and checked the EMF levels. I think we rearranged things so we wouldn't spend too much time in the part closest to it, but we didn't freak out on the management or anything. So I don't think concern about the EMF from the electrical room is unjustified in and of itself. It's the way it led to what it did that puts it into the realm of mental health and a need for better conflict management.

That said, a rental is a different beast since you can usually leave with a month's notice unless you're in a one year lease (and then you just have to wait out the lease or find a sublet) assuming you can find a new one. A condo has to be sold.

Mrs.Anteater said:
I met a friend’s sister’s new boyfriend on Christmas day who was also telling very frustrating stories about boards who are micro managing everything in the building including which plants he plants into his planters on his terrace. He is selling it now. So e of his frustration was also that he had to pay the maintenance fees for stuff that he did not feel was money well spend.
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Yeah, condo boards are getting a bit of a bad rep these days. I have a sneaking suspicion that your busybody types are the ones most likely to seek a seat on the board and also tend to be the ones most likely to look down on their neighbours, hence these issues. That said, things like this should not be ending up in open gunplay. There has to be a better way to manage them.
 
It sounds like he had issues that possibly started in his childhood. A less caring condo board would have had him banned from the building years earlier for harassment of other residents.

The prime model most people learn for dealing with conflicts is based on competitive sports with winners and losers. We need to lift up other forms of conflict resolution such as offered by Stephen Covey and find ways to focus on the needs and beliefs that initiate conflicts.
 
If one owns a condo, how would they be able to ban him from his own home? Bring to court for harassment, yes, but you likely can’t make someone homeless.
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
If one owns a condo, how would they be able to ban him from his own home? Bring to court for harassment, yes, but you likely can’t make someone homeless.
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People can be forced to sell/rent it, but it's not a simple process.
 
Mendalla said:
Yeah, condo boards are getting a bit of a bad rep these days. I have a sneaking suspicion that your busybody types are the ones most likely to seek a seat on the board and also tend to be the ones most likely to look down on their neighbours, hence these issues. That said, things like this should not be ending up in open gunplay. There has to be a better way to manage them.
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My sense is that is common amongst many boards. The interesting part about condo boards is that some will require the members be a property owner in the condominium. This means that your pool of potential board members is reduced significantly. A person that I know who was very smart/talented was struggling as a board members as the chair of the board had signs of dementia. It was a real dance to make change to get to a healthy spot.

Church boards can have the same challenge, especially in small congregations with aging populations. Here, there tends to be the "must be nice" or "we love each other so all is well" layer thrown onto the top.

So, only the board members and their spouses can probably truly share everything that happened and only from their perspective...the phone calls, the angst, the hallway conversations..the fear.

I sense some folks see conflict resolution as a place that we need to be able to resolve, or learn to work together amicably. Sometimes, conflict resolution can be, it is time to move on. I'm not sure how often that is presented by folks as an option.
 
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