Living with disability

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And this highlights the problem with evolving language. A word that some may find acceptable, others may not, even if both are in a similar situation. You say "disabled", redhead says "challenged", I go, "Who do I believe? What term is really acceptable to all of you?" I've been happily going along with Kimmio and others who are using "disabled" or PWD and now redhead suggests that's wrong. If take redhead's route, someone else may be unhappy and vice versa.

You see it elsewhere. There are still people of African descent who accept "negro" while some won't even accept "Black" . Some gay people have proudly taken ownership of "fag", for others it's still an insult. Obvious slurs, like the "n" word (though some, esp. in the rap/hip-hop community, happily use it to refer to themselves) or "chink" for Chinese are clearly out, but there's still still some hazy ground in many cases and it can be a minefield if you're not living in that world on a daily basis.
 
I try not to take offense where none is intended.

There is a good aarticle on facebook right now about Allies of Gays wwalking on eggs trying not to offend. If I meet a man at a social occasion and notice he is wearing a wedding ring, I might say something like, "Is your wife here?" I'm just making conversation. I'm not meaning to imply that there is something wrong. I would expect the answer might be, "Yes, she's right over there. I'll introduce you." or "No, she's home with our sick child." or "I'm gay. That handsome guy over there is my husband. Would you like to meet him?"
 
The power of the pen is known. The wise use of words is rare. Sweeping generalisations and labelling abounds. I simply suggest that disabled is a limiting definition; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability

I see all of us as equal, while dealing with challenges, not labelled as less than perfect by the definitions of disabled.
 
redhead said:
I see all of us as equal, while dealing with challenges, not labelled as less than perfect by the definitions of disabled.
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The logic of it is nice. I am certainly challenged by my little glitches but I'm hardly disabled. Others, like you, seeler, and Kimmio, have bigger challenges and may need more accommodation/support to meet the challenge.

I recall the term "challenged" being bandied about in the past but it never seemed to catch on in a big way. Perhaps it is time.
 
There is debate even within groups of proponents of the social model of disability as to which is better - disabled people, or people with disabilities. The former is prefered by some because it implies that people are disabled by external factors (according to the social model), the latter, 'people with disabilities' is prefered by others because it puts the priority on people before disability. I suppose I am used to the latter here in Canada, the former is used more in the UK as I understand it - even though the purpose of the social model of disability is the same. They are subtle differences, and not such a big deal as long as we understand the overall approach of the social model - which is to take the 'fault' for disability - the disabling factors - out of the person, put it outside of the person onto society, and recognize that it is discrimination, overt and subtle, visible and invisible barriers, that does the disabling.

In that way, people with disabilities are just people who happen to have impairments, which is perfectly human and does not make them intrinsically unequal. It is society not adapting to difference that creates inequality. It is society's responsibility to adapt to difference not a person's responsibility to adapt to unrealistic and prejudicial norms and expectations. In that sense, I have no problem using the word disability, temporarily as a word to educate until we get it right, because the goal is to erase barriers and get to a place in time where society doesn't disable people - and there is no more disability. I do have a problem using the word as if to label myself 'deficient' as a person and I still struggle with that assumption on the part of others, and my own internalization of it. because most of my life that was the only way to look at it.
 
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Kimmio said:
In that way, people with disabilities are just people who happen to have impairments, which is perfectly human and does not make them intrinsically unequal. It is society not adapting to difference that creates inequality. It is society's responsibility to adapt to difference not a person's responsibility to adapt to unrealistic and prejudicial norms and expectations. because the goal is to erase barriers and get to a place in time where society doesn't disable people - and there is no more disability.
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So does this mean that y believe that if someone is unable to walk or talk it is the responsibility of the employer ?
 
Lastpointe said:
So does this mean that y believe that if someone is unable to walk or talk it is the responsibility of the employer ?
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I think you're missing the broader point about the social model of disability.

If there is a way for the person to do the job whether they can walk and talk or not (perhaps they can get around in a wheelchair, perhaps they can communicate with the aide of a computer device - such as Stephen Hawking has) - it is the responsibility of the employer to consider them equally to other candidates. Again, it doesn't necessarily follow that if they can't do the job a 'normal' or typically expected way that the job can't be done. The employer, theoretically anyway, does not get to arbitrarily decide how much is too much for the workplace to accommodate a person's difference. If they cannot get hired at a job, that is not their fault though and broader society should not be keeping them in poverty. That is society disabling them as well, by keeping them relegated to the margins.
 
Lastpointe, I think that conversation occurred in this thread, or possibly another, about what is "reasonable accommodation", versus what are key requirements for a job....aaah, yes, it was under the "stripper" conversation.
 
Pinga said:
Lastpointe, I think that conversation occurred in this thread, or possibly another, about what is "reasonable accommodation", versus what are key requirements for a job....aaah, yes, it was under the "stripper" conversation.
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And what I was also partially trying to challenge is what is sexy or not? And part of what we think of as sexy comes from the subconscious notion that one can't be fully human with a disability. So, to tear down that notion requires that boundaries be broken and different ideas of what is sexy are allowed - rather than catering to patriarchal ideals and clientele - assuming people with disabilities are not sexual beings because they don't shake their stuff the same way is disabling to people with disabilities.I'm against the stripping establishment because I am against patriarchy - however - if people with disabilities are going to be included in all facets of society and since stripping is legal - that should mean strip clubs too. It might even force strip clubs to not operate so sleazy overall. And maybe people would stop going - they'd go under - and that'd be great.
 
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So...I just want to vent a bit. I'll put it here.

I fell twice at work on Friday. Wasn't using my walker or cane indoors (parked my walker near the door), and my clumsy PMS fatigued self tripped over my clumsy, CP, feet. The first fall I got up fast. The second fall, I tried to catch on the way down and elbowed myself in the ribs. Third time in 3 yrs, I've done that. It hurts. Today, feels worse. But, it'll get better. No big deal.

So, tonight, getting on the bus - I was moving slower because of the pain of simultaneously moving and breathing. Something familiar to many people without disabilities. It'll take a couple of weeks to heal. I must've been wincing a bit. I sat across, in the courtesy seats, from a woman using a wheelchair. A man across from us proceeds to tell me how I could kill myself quickly if I wanted to. I kept my mouth shut. He was a few bricks short, maybe a few sheets to the wind...but it still bothered me - and I could tell by the woman's face that it bothered her too.

That's all.
 
Hugs, Kimmio. There's a**holes with opinions everywhere. You know not to listen.

I had a boarder with a very bad case of Tourette's syndrome. I knew he couldn't help himself (although the couple of times I took him to church I kept on digging him in the ribs saying "think in Spanish" because the language he was thinking was the one that came out). His repetitive, loud, tic, was to yell "fcuking bitch". I got it, but my heart wondered why it was NEVER interspersed with "fcuking prick" or the like...
 
Kimmio said:
So...I just want to vent a bit. I'll put it here.

I fell twice at work on Friday. Wasn't using my walker or cane indoors (parked my walker near the door), and my clumsy PMS fatigued self tripped over my clumsy, CP, feet. The first fall I got up fast. The second fall, I tried to catch on the way down and elbowed myself in the ribs. Third time in 3 yrs, I've done that. It hurts. Today, feels worse. But, it'll get better. No big deal.

So, tonight, getting on the bus - I was moving slower because of the pain of simultaneously moving and breathing. Something familiar to many people without disabilities. It'll take a couple of weeks to heal. I must've been wincing a bit. I sat across, in the courtesy seats, from a woman using a wheelchair. A man across from us proceeds to tell me how I could kill myself quickly if I wanted to. I kept my mouth shut. He was a few bricks short, maybe a few sheets to the wind...but it still bothered me - and I could tell by the woman's face that it bothered her too.

That's all.
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I get the self injuring from clumsiness. After getting back I was walking around with my hand on my hip, not thinking about it (probably rubbing stiff muscles). Rammed elbow into a door, ever so slight sprain to wrist that was on hip. Luckily was just sore for that evening. In my own home, so the only person to make comments to me was Chemguy, I'm sure he said something snarky. What are spouses for? :rolleyes:

Sorry that you had to deal with the rude comments. Hopefully tomorrow the ribs will feel better!
 
Rude comments are the result of all free mental stuff ... some should be added to the cuke function --- Bette Eire than that!

Recall here in an emotionally leading place, all is chaos, until we get beyond that tendency!

Then heavenly intellect comes round ... an echo or Canon of different shade ...
 
Imagine a break in the bodE-sol connection ... something to a' void as a'gape? Sometimes a member of the opposing sects can do it ...

Perhaps a literary satyr ... as intellect pushing into a mostly emotional Seder ... from the Egyptian Set of imagination ... abstract? One has to extend and extrapolate the mind ...

Its said to be out there ...
 
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