Room For All

[Northwind]

@BetteTheRed I'm delighted to see you have a potential new love in your life. I hope all goes well.

@KayTheCurler who knows why people do what they do. Perhaps it's because change is hard. I hope things get sorted out.

This is the first face that greeted me today. How can you not love it.

 

[Mrs.Anteater]

Could you splurge the money in an activity he could be part of- rent a wheelchair accessible van, support people to push it, if necessary , go on an outing together to a place you all enjoy with a meal catered ?

 

[ChemGal]

I'm trying to solve an interesting situation and wondering how to figure out what others are thinking.
I am one of eight remaining members of a once thriving club. Three couples and two singles is all that is left. Everyone has a significant health issue and all but two are 65+. We haven't had a meeting or organised activity for about five years. Realistically, I doubt we will in the future. I suggested that maybe we should close the club and dispose of the $2,000 in the bank account in a mutually agreeable fashion.
Well, by golly, the response was negative in the extreme from one of the members, and took me by surprise. The objector is 85, basically housebound and rarely participated in planned activities EVER. Does anyone know what might drive this person to want to store money in the bank where it is of no use to anyone?

Grief is the word that comes to mind for me.

 

[Waterfall]

@KayTheCurler
Well personally I would just ask him why. Possibly you could then get him to agree to take a vote with the other members if they also agree? and to find out where the money should go.
Food Bank?

 

[BetteTheRed]

I've had a good couple of days. I have changed a difficult light bulb (ladders and careful manipulation of cover), I have restored power to my thermostat, so I don't have to manually turn the furnace off and on, and I have re-set the electronics so that I can reprogram it.

@Kay, what's wrong with $250 each, do with it as you will?

 

[Mrs.Anteater]

I've had a good couple of days. I have changed a difficult light bulb (ladders and careful manipulation of cover), I have restored power to my thermostat, so I don't have to manually turn the furnace off and on, and I have re-set the electronics so that I can reprogram it.

I was just talking to my sister in Germany yesterday about trades people ripping customers off because we are ” older” women dependent on them. I had them quote me horrendous prices and work times for jobs I then ended up doing myself in 3 hours instead of three days for a fraction of the cost. Being single teaches you ….

 

[Redbaron]

Good morning! Webinars, dissolving organizations, home repairs by self (quickly and inexpensively) or 'pros' (costly and time consuming), amongst other things that will come up. We're here for it, and for each other. Come on in, have a hot beverage, and join us.

C(_)/ c(_) c\_/ c[_]

 

[ninj]

I was just talking to my sister in Germany yesterday about trades people ripping customers off because we are ” older” women dependent on them. I had them quote me horrendous prices and work times for jobs I then ended up doing myself in 3 hours instead of three days for a fraction of the cost. Being single teaches you ….

It sure does. Especially if you're female. I have far too many stories...

 

[Waterfall]

It sure does. Especially if you're female. I have far too many stories...

You tube is a womans friend, whether you're single or not. It's how I learned to change counter tops, install toilets and a bathtub, and put shut off valves on all my plumbing....and so much more. It's also how I self diagnose what's wrong with my car sometimes before taking it to the garage.

 

[Luce NDs]

Yet still ... there are folk that will bank on anything that is unknown ...

Perhaps why I bank on myself as few know about it as an obscure item in a world based on separation anxiety! I am sure I won't last ... that's determinacy on things beyond knowledge ...

Thank the great mystery I can't see myself ... I could be frightening ...

 

[Nancy]

When I was single, I routinely did a lot of my own work. I've really slipped in the last near-40 years! I've let my husband take a lot of things over. It evens out because I handle other things: family communication, bills, social schedule. But sometimes I feel vulnerable....in case he gets to the point where he can't clean the chimney, cut and haul wood, etc. He is also a much more thorough cleaner than I am. I know I could do that but....not if I don't have to!

 

[paradox3]

I'm trying to solve an interesting situation and wondering how to figure out what others are thinking.
I am one of eight remaining members of a once thriving club. Three couples and two singles is all that is left. Everyone has a significant health issue and all but two are 65+. We haven't had a meeting or organised activity for about five years. Realistically, I doubt we will in the future. I suggested that maybe we should close the club and dispose of the $2,000 in the bank account in a mutually agreeable fashion.
Well, by golly, the response was negative in the extreme from one of the members, and took me by surprise. The objector is 85, basically housebound and rarely participated in planned activities EVER. Does anyone know what might drive this person to want to store money in the bank where it is of no use to anyone?

I have certainly heard similar stories with other groups. There are even parallels with churches whose days are clearly numbered.

Dissolving the finances can be tricky depending on the original setup

 

[paradox3]

Grief is the word that comes to mind for me.

Definitely. The grief involved is easy to overlook when groups disband.

 

[Luce NDs]

I would like to place our resources into charity ... but in the just concerns of many of the establishment I 'M told that "those" people deserve nothing as they do not serve to capitalize for self ... in a righteous manner of stuffing!

I wonder about what thoughts reside in those poor soles that could do with some further fertility and cultivating ... yet justice is humble and keeps its head in the sans ... in this humble situation.

The heating bill alone for our archaic building would serve other's better ... thus edifices stir thoughts about quo bono (i.e. what good does it serve)? Yet I stand alone in my interest in what might be an improvement for the limited thing ... mortals!

 

[KayTheCurler]

Thanks folks. Grief is likely a factor- but everyone else has come to terms with the situation. We spent some money on an enjoyable group activity some years ago but the 'objector' didn't want a repeat performance. I'm sure the majority aren't scared to sit down and talk about this (again) and the Food Bank would probably be the recipient. One person seems determined to hang onto Club money at any costs. I hesitate to ask if she thinks the last member standing should just get it all!

 

[Carolla]

There are some folks (and churches!) who hoard money - to give it away is so threatening for them for a whole unkown variety of reasons, from simple to complex. Perhaps a hybrid solution is in the works Kay - as Bette suggested - apportion the amount between the remaining club members & let them designate what to do with their share. Perhaps the objector will have theirs refunded & the others can make a joint decision on recipient, or may prefer individual donations for tax receipts. I'm sure you'll sort it out. Sometimes life just seems unneccessarily complicated!!

 

[KayTheCurler]

That would seem like a possible solution Catolla. However, most members have said they don't want the money themselves - not even to give away. At the moment it feels like this objecting member wants to blame me for however the decision goes. Oh well - I've been painted as the Big Bad Wolf before so I know I'll survive!

 

[Redbaron]

True, you can't control what others may think of you; as long as you can live with yourself.

 

[Carolla]

they don't want the money themselves - not even to give away

So then I would imagine it would just go as a group donation, minus the amt of the objector if they truly don't want it given. I don't think any one member should have veto power. Wait - the objector is not Donald Trump is it?? (sorry - just kidding!)

 

[ninj]

You tube is a womans friend, whether you're single or not. It's how I learned to change counter tops, install toilets and a bathtub, and put shut off valves on all my plumbing....and so much more. It's also how I self diagnose what's wrong with my car sometimes before taking it to the garage.

Same here. One special turning point was when I paid someone to replace a rad hose and found that not only hadn't he done that, he trimmed it back too short and clamped it back. Looked like it would pop off. Then he forgot to replace the coolant when he was done! Car needed a new rad anyway, so I dropped that in myself. I was never comfortable jacking up the and car doing anything under the chassis though. I had a car dealer actually get irate when I took a test drive and I listed what was wrong with it when I brought it back.
I also replaced a toilet and other various plumbing jobs. There isn't much I won't tackle if it's reasonable, although at my age, I'm usually happy to pay someone. I also worked as a CNC machine tool setter/operator a lifetime ago.