It's Mental Health Month here in Oz, and here is part of my reflection that I gave last Sunday in Ashfield Uniting Church - a mission church for the poor and dispossessed, many of whom have mental health issues.............
Like most of my talks, I’ll begin with a story. Many of us were introduced to stories on our mother’s lap, and thus our mind is tuned to them.
This is a Cherokee Indian story from the USA.
It is often first nation people, who, living in tune with their natural environment, gain wisdom that often eludes those of us who live in modern high-rise cities.
It is by observing other animals that they interact with on a daily basis, that they have a keen understanding of us, the human animal.
A Cherokee Indian Tale Of Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One wolf is Evil.
It’s anger, envy, jealousy, greed, resentment, and lies.
The other wolf is Good.
It‘s joy, love, hope, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins the battle?’
The old Cherokee replied, ‘The one you feed.’
“The one you feed” – it’s a great answer, isn’t it?
It’s a lovely story, so simple and yet so true. I think we do all have these two wolves running around inside us.
Feed the Good Wolf and it will show up in our character, habits and behavior.
But feed the Evil Wolf and our whole world will turn negative: like poison, it will slowly eat away at our soul.
The crucial question is “Which wolf are you feeding?”
Time for some unpacking of this tale.
At first glance it might be suggesting that you just acknowledge the good wolf - think only positive thoughts and continually walk around looking happy.
But, is this realistic?
It’s not just those of us with a mental illness, but everyone, who has dark moods and thoughts at times.
Hurt, anger, grief, and despair are a part of all our lives. We cannot escape these unhappy times – they are a part of the journey.
It’s been my experience that the way to deal with pain affectively, is to go through it, not try to avoid it.
I’ll repeat that.
The way to deal with pain affectively, is to go through it, not try to avoid it.
So, how do we go through our pain and get back to feeding the good wolf?
The answer is both simple and difficult.
First, allow yourself to feel your pain.
If it’s been buried in you for a long time you may need professional help.
Otherwise, seek out folks who are prepared to listen. When folks listen to us we feel both supported and understood, and it can be enormously beneficial.
And please don’t forget God. God shares our life with us, and we can always talk to HIM through prayer.
Make that first step feeling your pain, and then you are free to move on to the next stage – the stage where you can reframe your perception. For example, when my husband died, I felt somehow cheated that our time together was too short. But, when I went over many happy memories, I realized how fortunate I was to have had him in my life at all.
At this stage we spend part of our day feeding the bad wolf, and part of the day feeding the good wolf.
By that I mean there are moments when our pain is acute, and the bad wolf snarls and bares its teeth –upsetting both ourselves and those around us.
But there are also moments when we feel at peace, and our pain seems to be at a distance. The good wolf comes closer, and we can see him across a clearing, without feeling fear.
Now it may take many years, but there is a further stage that can be reached.
With God’s help our pain –and we ourselves – can be transformed.
We accept what has happened, and learn from it.
We may even see that we have grown, both in our understanding, and acceptance of others and ourselves.
It’s here we can see we are free to not only feed the good wolf, but let him come close enough to lick our hand.
Thank you.
