What is the purpose of marriage today?

[Mendalla]

Why get married???

I wonder what you mean by this, though. Surely you're not saying that if someone wants a secular ceremony, they shouldn't be getting married. You mean "Why get married in a church?", right? Because civil, and even many UU ceremonies, won't have scriptures and prayers.

 

[crazyheart]

Yes, why get married in a church. Thanks for catching that Mendalla

 

[ChemGal]

One groom to be ( a wedding that I was asked to do at last minute because the

other minister got called away) was a son of a DLM.(IS THIS HOW YOU WRITE IT?)

The discussions had already taken place with the minister who got called away

because I might not have agreed to officiate.

The young man said" no scriptures, no prayers, no hymns, the important thing comes after the

church at the reception."

His mother shed tears, I negotiated that the father read a scripture.

What a mess! Why get married???

What about the spouse? If you had asked me what I wanted and then asked Chemguy you would get 2 very different answers. We compromised.

 

[BetteTheRed]

Wouldn't it be interesting if we talked about what individual needs were being met by the umbrella of "marriage"?

 

[crazyheart]

The bride was too worried about her acrylic nails.

 

[crazyheart]

@BetteTheRed , sometimes the umbrella is to satisfy the family (mother, dad, grandparents)

 

[ChemGal]

The bride was too worried about her acrylic nails.

That's a possibility. Or she and the groom worked out the compromise already and she wanted to focus on some of her near and dear relationships while doing things like getting nails done.

 

[Mendalla]

Wouldn't it be interesting if we talked about what individual needs were being met by the umbrella of "marriage"?

Is that not really the same as asking why they are getting married (per @GordW upthread)

 

[BetteTheRed]

Same question. Slightly different frame.

 

[Jon71]

We used 1 Cor 13 (the usual) and a Chinese poem. I'd likely dispense with the Bible reading today and use Gibran instead but we got married in a Christian church so when in Rome ...

The Chinese poem was this one (this exact translation in fact, though we also had a Mandarin reading of it):

You and I
Have so much love,
That it
Burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Molded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
Then we take both of them,
And break them into pieces,
And mix the pieces with water,
And mold again a figure of you,
And a figure of me.
I am in your clay.
Your are in my clay.
In life we share a single quilt.
In death we will share one coffin.

How cool. My wife and I had my dad read 1 Corinthians 13 too. He doesn't like public speaking and his hands were shaking so bad the Bible was about to fly out of his hands.

 

[Mendalla]

How cool. My wife and I had my dad read 1 Corinthians 13 too. He doesn't like public speaking and his hands were shaking so bad the Bible was about to fly out of his hands.

We actually had it read twice, in English and Mandarin. Dad did the English reading but speaking in church was pretty much a regular thing for him so no shaking.