The pressures on families with special needs

[Luce NDs]

If a spirit (essence) can be negated by a force ... can the soul be obscured by like forces? Thus many are received in life without a thought! Nothing to ide?

Ide is described to be a forerunner of Ego in some fields of scholarship ... and then if scholarship is denied ... the entire item stands down and tends to lose ...

This leads to hypothetical sub entities! Lessor folk and the struggle is initiated as outlined by the proletariat! Tis messy ... MS ah? To this ... we can add a lot more because it doesn't seem to be over yet the game of crude passions ... as yet unrefined ... blow by blow reports? Mariah vs the wayward wind ... wraiths? Some say this is rather like an incarnate image .... some good, some bad and a smattering of ugly and beauty in between ... by all means!

Kind of misty the way it occurs ... mit ti culae?

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

There, the situation is nailed: "we don't know" is the primary curiosity.

Myself; I have lived in some very precarious situations (because of parental behaviour) ... however it seems that everything I do is blamed on me ... especially if I question the parietal factor (that unknown in the back of the head).

The enigma is if you pose anything that looks like a question about what's past ... you are smeared ...

Now my father took off because my mother had psychological problems ... why I do not know ... but folks deter me when I investigate ... perhaps because of their fear about what I will discover about animal behaviour?

This could disrupt the Muse ... blow it o fractals ... when? Thus the vast "if" statement ... everything becomes uncertain regardless of those that say: "all is well" a rather deep item to unravel. But here I am lord trying to unravel the mess ... against considerable hesitation to learn of such things. Knowledge is accepted as a dangerous factor ... if you know anything there will be powers wishing for a stand-down, or to put you down ... thus I capitulate as humbled and work from the bottom line of the dirt that befalls me as mire nonsense ... all else is spatial ... is that clear?

Alas with the heat of multiple desires ... a fog collects as esteemed ... so the lesser are screwed by the lawmakers who laid it on ... heavy handed?

Have you ever questioned your father’s problems and their impact on her, and on you, or did you take for granted that it was all her fault because of how he talked about it? What was his part in making, or leaving you, damaged and resentful? I understand the dynamic but maybe she wasn’t all to blame. Getting help from the community to heal is one thing but putting people through your hurt - to break people and give them your pain - is another, especially if they already share similar from their own experience, but see it from another angle.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

My mom’s problems aren’t all her fault and my dad’s problems aren’t all his, and they really aren’t hers. I don’t think any of his problems were her fault but some of hers were his fault, or reinforced by him. I fell through the cracks between them. That’s on both. Keep trying to climb out but people who don’t understand me want to harm me with their own problems.

All of society has failed disabled people though. Including the disabilities we can’t see. But even less excusably, the ones we can see.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Making people want to die because they want to die. There’s some of that going around in society. It’s odious. MAiD has contributed.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

My mom’s problems aren’t all her fault and my dad’s problems aren’t all his, and they really aren’t hers. I don’t think any of his problems were her fault but some of hers were his fault, or reinforced by him. I fell through the cracks between them. That’s on both. Keep trying to climb out but people who don’t understand me want to harm me with their own problems.

All of society has failed disabled people though. Including the disabilities we can’t see. But even less excusably, the ones we can see.

I want to add, I forgive them but want to see some healing happen in my family as everybody ages, not some race to the bottom to pull random people I meet into to console myself (are you doing that R?) That’s not helpful.

I do feel like I was blamed for being disabled and causing stress for not blending seamlessly into norms, when I was born with a condition that is nobody’s fault it’s just an attribute - and few other than my dad when I was a kid before he left, have taken interest in understanding the complexities of it. I had it right from day one, the primary disability wasn’t a result of parenting, or a personal fault. Disabilities can’t necessarily be ‘fixed’ (and some of us resent the suggestion like lgbtq do conversion therapy) and the goal needs to be understanding and support.

 

[JayneWonders]

Maybe it has to do with knowing so many senior people nowadays, but I find the ‘wish to die’ talk toxic and contagious, and inappropriate and selfish here in the same thread as discussions of murder-suicide involving disabled children! Smarten up. Do you even recognize the problem? It’s so fricken gross that it always comes back to the wishes and needs of the adults in discussion: the parents, the seniors making plans. The kids are going to fall through those cracks in understanding. Full on dangerous societal narcissism. If you don’t want to potentially care for disabled kids, don’t have kids. Those parents in the OP should’ve received help. Their kids certainly should’ve been helped and probably removed from the home. They were people, too. It wasn’t about the parents’ own needs first but they made sure of it, and decided for them. The community failed, society failed - that’s what it’s about. This thread is not about yours or your parents’ death wishes or ailments - but it always goes there.

If it were non-disabled kids and overstretched parents there’d be outrage. It wouldn’t turn into personal musings like this thread has.

This is discussion includes dialogue on murder/suicide. BettetheRed mentioned a concern, and i responded.

You are presuming facts that are not known.

We do know the parents had funds at their disposal.
We do know that their had been supports in place. It does not appear that there were red flags of lack of coping.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

This is discussion includes dialogue on murder/suicide. BettetheRed mentioned a concern, and i responded.

You are presuming facts that are not known.

We do know the parents had funds at their disposal.
We do know that their had been supports in place. It does not appear that there were red flags of lack of coping.

Obviously, there was lack of coping though. The parents weren’t well. It goes without saying. Whatever was going on, society needs to get better so that things like this don’t happen, that’s all.

 

[BetteTheRed]

Your personal example just sounds like you’re making excuses, as if those kids matter less, as if it’s the kids’ fault.

Kimmio, there was no "personal example' here. I made an observation that the hormone testosterone in non-verbal male teenagers sounded frightening. Which it does. Some circumstances are really fecked up, and humans make horrifying decisions around those circumstances. They are to be pitied more than condemned, in my opinion. You've never been a parent. It's a bit of a painful process in that a part of your heart lives outside of your body AND outside of your control.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Most of us do or have known someone very close to us with some characteristic that isn’t the historical “norm” and know what it’s like when a loved one struggles.

 

[Luce NDs]

Human behaviour is a mysterious topic ... some of us try to ask questions but questions are discouraged.

I have regressed to making wild statements that are poorly received and the responses tell a lot about the mystery item ...

I suggest that most people despise knowing what I've observed. There was an incident yesterday beyond this site that nailed a case ... thus piling up a heap ... almost incredible as the masses wouldn't like it ... life is not a pretty sight although a small percentage of 1-2% believe it wonderful ... these whisper in the greenwood ... epi stem logics? Mores left to curiosity and question ... some would not go that far!