The Gender Unicorn
- Thread starter Jaebius
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Traditionally male-if-sent ... to this life in the time, place and lighter situations; ham mish? Naa! Some believe interpretation of the Mishnah to be somewhat a dark art ... only for the Jude ...? Duck for the punch ...
I'll go for it:
Gender Identity - male, I think
Gender Expression - no idea what it means
Biological Sex - male
Romantically Attracted to - mostly females
Sexually Attracted to - what's that? –> mostly asexual.
I'm definitely biologically male and look like one: taller than average (I would make a very tall female), deep voice and I am mostly attracted to females. But my perfect lifetime relationship involves as little intercourse as possible. And I have been married for 23 years and don't plan on changing or getting a second partner!
As for "gender identity and expression", it is the part that puzzles me the most about gender-questioning or transgender people. You know when a child proudly says "I'm a boy because I have short hair"? I still feel very much like that. I learned in school that i was supposed to be angry if a person confused me for a female, but quite frankly, the only strange feeling I had about that was "can't you see that I have short hair and that I'm a boy?" Now as an adult (late 50s), it's more "can't you see that I have no breasts and hear that I have a deep voice?"
In other words, I don't feel anything that makes me a male. If I go by the traditional stereotypes (which I despise, by the way) :
As for dating females or males, it's a rethorical question right now, but when I was single, a man would have had his chances at me providing he were to chase me. I don't think I would ever meet a man in the metro (or at church), look at him in the eyes and say "You look great! May I have a date with you?" But if a man were to ask me this question and I were single, I might reply positively.
Speaking of gender expression and identity, if God (or the devil?) were to change me into a female overnight, I don't think I would feel distressed, apart of logistical issues. I would be angry about the needs for a new wardrobe (what about the 10 trousers and 30 shirts I bought 10 years ago?) and I'm not sure I would find the time to go shopping. And my biggest beef against women's clothing is that it's too tight. But maybe I just need to buy it 2-3 sizes larger to be comfortable.
Another place where I have issues are with gender-specific groups. I stay away from male-only (or female-only) groups, be they groups at church, other discussion groups, etc. First of all, I don't work in a society that separates males and females. I don't have any issue working with a bunch of females nor having a female boss. Basically, as long as they are competent and we respect each other, we work in harmony. And the same is to be said with working with a bunch of males and a male boss. So yes, if I go to a science lab or a computer club I expect to see more males (we do have 25-30 % females in most of our gatherings), and if I go to a music fest I expect to see more females, but I despise groups where we purposely segregate men and women.
**************
When I said "I'm puzzled about gender-questioning or transgender people", it is not that I want to deny their experience. It is just that it is completely foreign to me. I don't understand it, but I know that everyone is not identical and that other people have a totally different experience – or brain. You could say that it's just like I am amazed by people who paint a scenery from scratch on a canvas because I absolutely have no abilities for that.
Gender Identity - male, I think
Gender Expression - no idea what it means
Biological Sex - male
Romantically Attracted to - mostly females
Sexually Attracted to - what's that? –> mostly asexual.
I'm definitely biologically male and look like one: taller than average (I would make a very tall female), deep voice and I am mostly attracted to females. But my perfect lifetime relationship involves as little intercourse as possible. And I have been married for 23 years and don't plan on changing or getting a second partner!
As for "gender identity and expression", it is the part that puzzles me the most about gender-questioning or transgender people. You know when a child proudly says "I'm a boy because I have short hair"? I still feel very much like that. I learned in school that i was supposed to be angry if a person confused me for a female, but quite frankly, the only strange feeling I had about that was "can't you see that I have short hair and that I'm a boy?" Now as an adult (late 50s), it's more "can't you see that I have no breasts and hear that I have a deep voice?"
In other words, I don't feel anything that makes me a male. If I go by the traditional stereotypes (which I despise, by the way) :
- I have little fashion sense, I am trained as an engineer (i.e. science), I prefer to work by myself rather than amongst people, I don't talk too much, I find females attractive. These are typically considered as masculine qualities.
- I don't like competition or performance, I tend to work for the long run, prefer consensus (unless I know I'm right!). I also do a lot of writing at work and I'm a good teacher (I know it is somewhat against point 1), I don't look for fame, I generally prefer to work on projects as the support crew. I like to listen to music, theatre (less than before). And last but not least, I love children, including my own. These are typically considered as feminine qualities.
As for dating females or males, it's a rethorical question right now, but when I was single, a man would have had his chances at me providing he were to chase me. I don't think I would ever meet a man in the metro (or at church), look at him in the eyes and say "You look great! May I have a date with you?" But if a man were to ask me this question and I were single, I might reply positively.
Speaking of gender expression and identity, if God (or the devil?) were to change me into a female overnight, I don't think I would feel distressed, apart of logistical issues. I would be angry about the needs for a new wardrobe (what about the 10 trousers and 30 shirts I bought 10 years ago?) and I'm not sure I would find the time to go shopping. And my biggest beef against women's clothing is that it's too tight. But maybe I just need to buy it 2-3 sizes larger to be comfortable.
Another place where I have issues are with gender-specific groups. I stay away from male-only (or female-only) groups, be they groups at church, other discussion groups, etc. First of all, I don't work in a society that separates males and females. I don't have any issue working with a bunch of females nor having a female boss. Basically, as long as they are competent and we respect each other, we work in harmony. And the same is to be said with working with a bunch of males and a male boss. So yes, if I go to a science lab or a computer club I expect to see more males (we do have 25-30 % females in most of our gatherings), and if I go to a music fest I expect to see more females, but I despise groups where we purposely segregate men and women.
**************
When I said "I'm puzzled about gender-questioning or transgender people", it is not that I want to deny their experience. It is just that it is completely foreign to me. I don't understand it, but I know that everyone is not identical and that other people have a totally different experience – or brain. You could say that it's just like I am amazed by people who paint a scenery from scratch on a canvas because I absolutely have no abilities for that.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Her
As usual, seeler, you are my "sister from another mother"....
I could never bear the restrictions enforced by the female gender expression. Skirts, yuck, usually restrict your movement. Makeup - way to waste your time and energy in disguising yourself? Fashion - fickle, foolish and expensive. All this hair crap? I don't think so; I have never successfully used a blow dryer or a curling iron in my life.
Although I'm attracted to men, both sexually and romantically, they've caused some huge difficulties in my life that remain painful. There have been periods where I was seriously pissed. I decided to see if I could change orientation in my 20s. No such luck. Women cannot smell right for me...
I could never bear the restrictions enforced by the female gender expression. Skirts, yuck, usually restrict your movement. Makeup - way to waste your time and energy in disguising yourself? Fashion - fickle, foolish and expensive. All this hair crap? I don't think so; I have never successfully used a blow dryer or a curling iron in my life.
Although I'm attracted to men, both sexually and romantically, they've caused some huge difficulties in my life that remain painful. There have been periods where I was seriously pissed. I decided to see if I could change orientation in my 20s. No such luck. Women cannot smell right for me...
People are generally the problem ... across the spectrum we have someone to hate all things ... a collective agreement? Thus social is a bad word ... for the mostly antisocial ... perhaps I regress?